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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU or is DH?

15 replies

GoHornets · 21/12/2020 12:14

We're are in SE London so Tier 4. I have 2 DC age 7 and 5. They are completely sick of playing in the house/ the garden and I'm trying so hard to keep them entertained/ not have a rubbish xmas.

So we live a 15 minute walk from a local common. You can take a short cut through a dingy underpass to get there or you can go the long way (20 mins) through the high street. Yesterday, I took the kids to the common to run around and we walked home the long way, looking at the xmas lights and got some hot chocolate for them on the cold walk home.

Got home and DH is livid. He says I've risked the kids by walking through the high street (it wasnt packed but not deserted either) and by getting the hot chocolate. He doesn't want me to take them out again, unless we drive to a green space and come straight back. His argument is whilst it might not be against the guidelines, it is morally wrong of me as I know the kids were in school and we've been out unnecessarily.

I'm so gutted at the prospect of losing even tiny treats like a walk to look at the lights. Today I was planning to take the kids on an advent windows walk but now I'm second guessing what to do. I do agree with him that we should use common sense not stick to guidelines but in my head this was a harmless xmas treat whereas he thinks I'm exploiting loopholes to go out selfishly.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 21/12/2020 12:16

You are allowed out for exercise.

Will it really be that busy if you go round looking at windows?

GoHornets · 21/12/2020 12:19

@Nanny0gg Not sure - I was planning the Greenwich advent windows so its quite spread out but narrowish streets

OP posts:
Diverseduvet · 21/12/2020 12:24

Depends how busy it is. I'd say if you cant keep enough distance dont. I know it's not the same but just take them to the common and have hot chocolate from a flask. Home for a Christmas light judging competition, using the net with explanations from the judges (you and the kids) why the lights you've chosen are the best, followed by top 3 voting, etc. Bit lame, but probably safer

ForestNymph · 21/12/2020 12:26

YANBU. My DH was like this initially, he didn't want me taking the kids out of the house at all for fear they'd catch it. We had already had it and he was still worried. But you can't stay cooped up forever.

Aprilx · 21/12/2020 12:27

Tier 4 has only been in place for 36 hours and most people would have been Tier 2 before then, so how come they are so bored already!

Your DH is correct, Tier 4 is called “Stay at home”. Excercise and recreation should be in some outside spaces like parks, countryside, outdoor sports facilities, not the high street (see link).

www.gov.uk/guidance/tier-4-stay-at-home#stay-at-home

Tavannach · 21/12/2020 12:29

I think going to the park is more or less necessary with young children. Just be vigilant about 2 metres. I don't think I do the windows.

ForestNymph · 21/12/2020 12:30

so how come they are so bored

Idk, a whole year of on and off lockdowns might have something to do with it.

Ivy455 · 21/12/2020 12:36

Your DH is being ridiculous.

GoHornets · 21/12/2020 13:05

@Aprilx they are bored because they’ve been locked down on and off since March. We’ve been cautious even when restrictions were relaxed and haven’t travelled / gone to any indoor attractions etc but as a result they are absolutely bored with going to the park / garden games / crafting / baking

OP posts:
GoHornets · 21/12/2020 13:05

@Tavannach thanks, I agree we’ll probably do the park and skip the windows

OP posts:
MassiveSalad · 21/12/2020 13:07

He is being ridiculous. Is he always so over the top and controlling? Tell him to catch a grip.

Potentialscrooge · 21/12/2020 13:26

Oh ffs tell him to get a fucking grip. I’m absolutely sick of this. You stuck to the rules, end of. You are right and good for you to let your kids have some enjoyment which is within the rules. Is your husband always so controlling?

Seatime · 21/12/2020 14:14

The virus is passed on by droplets from another person. So unless the barista sneezed into your mouth, you should be ok. We need some (considered) treats to stay sane.

partyatthepalace · 21/12/2020 14:35

He’s being OTT, they need to go out and run around and unless the high street was super packed it seems v low risk to walk through it on the way to the park.

Plus coffee shops are allowed to remain open for takeaways so we spend money on them.

I think lots of people have pretty hysterical moments right now, so let him cool off etc, and try and have rational chat on how to give the kids a good run every day going forward.

Focalpoint · 21/12/2020 15:19

It's not a case of someone being unreasonable. Just read the guidelines and sit down together and agree what types of outings work for you all.

He's probably scared. And understandably given the Hancock was on TV talking about a new variant that was out of control.

Everyone is living their own version of this and it's a time to understand each other not argue about it.

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