Not so much IABU but help homophobic language

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I'm beyond cross. My older two sons 9 and 12 have started using faggot and gay as insults. I'm furious and have just had a complete rage at them. Obviously got it from school or online. Eldest DC came home from high school last week saying another boy had stuck note on another boys back saying gay.

Is there any resources I can used, make them watch to show them this language is beyond wrong. Ob if told them I'm disgusted, its homophobic and have confiscated electronics. Appreciate any advice.

Not sure but I was talking to dd about this the other day. She is 15 and several of her friends are gay/bi. She said that homophobic abuse is very widespread, and although they have reported it, nothing seems to change. It's so disappointing in this day and age, I really thought that things would have moved on a bit.

With regard to what you do about it, though, I don't think removing electronics is going to solve the problem. You need to make them understand why it is so wrong, which you will do through discussion rather than (totally understandable and justified) rage.

Maybe look for some online videos to watch with them about people who have experienced homophobic bullying and the impact that it had on them? You need to get them to empathise and for them to feel how wrong this is, not just tell them.

I don't think you can get cross with them before you have a good discussion with them about it, so they understand what's wrong. Lots of children copy their peers, without really understanding the language, especially with swearing and insults. I think my son used the word 'gay' once, but I wasn't cross with him. I just explained what it meant and that it was offensive to use the term as an insult. He never used it again, and I've since heard him telling friends not to use particular words as insults and telling them why.
I guess if they fully understand but are still using the words, that's a different issue. You must speak your mind and like you say, set boundaries and consequences in your own house.

There is a good charity called Diversity Role Models that work with schools to educate children on this subject. Maybe see if they would come into your sons’ school, or if they have any support documentation you could use with your sons.

Drip feed but we have had a few conversations around using the word gay as an insult a few times and why it's wrong. Hence the red rage today

Do you know anyone who is gay? I do and I would ask them to speak to my child and explain why it's so hurtful.