Sister texts too much

[Grannypants55]

How do I tell my sister, in the nicest possible way, not to text so much? She's not lonely, has attentive husband & children. She's always been the same, ringing or texting, wanting to get into text convos every day about nothing in particular. Drives me mad!

Maybe she is lonely! God this could be me. Whoops! No-one ever asks how I am so I always ask them (they still never ask) maybe that's the case here. (I have recently realised maybe people don't want to be bothered so I have stopped contacting first).

Anyway. I guess just stop replying so frequently?

Stop answering her!

(As in, I have an attentive husband and children but am still lonely)

Still reply, but don't reply immediately. Leave the message unread for a couple of hours, then read and reply. Then do the same thing with the next message. Just don't get in to an ongoing conversation.

You put her number on a Do Not Disturb except for one hour a day at your choosing and set your phone so you don't get screen Notifications for her.

That way you can keep her in the background except for one hour a day.

Also get familiar with the 👍 emoji, which acknowledges stuff without adding to it. And get a few deflective phrases like "OK, talk soon" or "will talk to u soon about it" and use them liberally.

Basically don't feed the text beast.

I hate texting/messaging. I would rather have a telephone conversation.

Just reply when you have the time, unless there's a big back story coming I don't see why that's a problem? Just because she was a husband doesn't mean she isn't lonely or doesn't want other communication outside just her husband. If she was badgering you to reply all day every day then yes I would say speak to her but the point of texting is you can reply when it's convenient

Don't respond, except at a certain time of day perhaps.

I mean this in the nicest way but I have a husband and children but would like to talk to other people.
I'm on maternity leave and I only really see/speak to my husband and children so I probably call my parents, sister and best friend too much but that's because I want to talk to other people and it's lonely at home by myself (my six month old doesn't have very good conversation skills yet 😁).

the point of texting is you can reply when it's convenient

this!

I have often felt lonely myself but that doesn’t mean you can demand too much of others.

There is no right or wrong frequency of texting. Some people like to text people important to them every day in order to feel connected and part of things. This does not mean that your sister is being needy or demanding. You are perhaps less sociable and there is no requirement on you to text her back at all. Just do so when you want to.

Yes I am less sociable & find it a chore to keep spending a lot of time texting back & forth several times a day. A few times she has asked if I'm OK if I've not answered as quickly as she'd like me to. And yes, I could initiate contact more, but she doesn't give me chance, or even give me chance to miss her. It does come across as needy. I just want the frequency to reduce & for her to understand that you don't have to be texting several times a day, or having a big text conversation at the end of the day - every single day. It's suffocating. Guess I'll just have to ignore the texts for a day or two & hope that she takes the hint, rather than being blunt & hurting her feelings

Why not suggest a video chat catch up a couple/once a week?

I either reply with a "busy at work" or "putting DD to bed" so that I've replied but the person knows I'm not ignoring them. I then reply properly later when I am sorted.

I wouldn't deliberately ignore anyone I like, especially family, for days at a time though. It's just rude!

Tacit ignore. If you don’t respond and she then asks if you’re ok, just give the thumbs up emoji, write ‘busy’ then ignore further messages.