Am I over reacting?

[ExpectingMore]

Name changed..

DH and I have always had a pretty good sex life. Pretty vanilla, which suits us both I think (hope) and obviously the usual ups and downs with hormones/illness/work stress etc. It has actually been better than usual the last couple of weeks, which makes last night all the more confusing.

DH had done a long shift at work, had a couple of beers, and was tired - fair enough. I wasn't tired so was watching Netflix on my phone. He woke, had obviously decided he did want some after all, and did his usual moves to indicate this to me. I reciprocated, but we then had the most one sided sex ever. Literally no foreplay for me. I was barely ready when he went in for the main event. I let him get on with it, he finished, I didn't, and he literally rolled off me and went to sleep.

This has never happened before. We've been together 15 years.

I'm cross with both of us. With him for being so selfish, with myself for being a doormat and having sex I didn't want or enjoy.

He says he got it wrong and he's sorry, but he doesn't think it's a big deal. Says it's "one of those things".

I feel used, quite frankly. Like he used me as porn or a blow up doll. He didn't give a shit if I enjoyed it or not.

AIBU?

A one off when he was tired? It's fine.

For me I wouldn't feel it was a big deal (although I'd have told him I wasn't ready as it were).

A one-off in 15 years - not such a bad track record. Just tell him that it makes you feel used and you do not want a repeat of it; then let it go.

Think you're over reacting a bit to be honest.

I don't think it's a big deal? I think if it was happening more regularly then fair enough but sometimes tired sex happens

It's a quickie, isn't it. But they work when both parties know it. Though if I or my DH were knackered but decided on doing it, that's what we would expect is happening.
Sometimes there is just no energy for foreplays etc.

YABU and yes, you are overreacting. It’s a one off in the middle of the night.

It's a quickie. Guessing he was half asleep and not function above base instincts. Wouldnt read too much into it. You can tell him its your turn to tonight

A one off when he was tired, you're definitely over reacting.

You're overthinking it!

YANBU to be miffed but it sounds more like the combination of beer and tiredness made him a bit thick. He apologised and it sounds like a one off so I'd ask that he make it up to you tonight and let it go.

Thank you all for your replies - I festered over it for ages last night. Thank you for giving me some perspective, I definitely over thought it.