Adult gifting amongst work colleagues

[Ungratefulpieceofsh1te]

I have NC for this because I know I am being an utter ungrateful bitch, but I still want to get this off my chest.

I work in education, not a teacher, within a support team. Every year I want to suggest we do secret santa but I never really dare. And every year I receive bits and pieces as gifts that are so bloody awful, I don't even have the nerve to re-gift them. Then I feel under the obligation of giving them a gift back, but because I really find it way too embarrassing to give shit, I end up spending money and resenting it. Or buying nothing and feeling embarrassed.

This year we've all been so busy and it's been so manic, I really hoped people would not have time for all this nonsensical gifting. But no, instead, I have been given elaborately wrapped gifts to include:

a candle (nothing fancy, the Glade one from wilko's £2), another candle with a star shape, broken up from some multipack, a little mirror in a pouch, some other candle, clearly regifted as packaging dirty and battered...

I don't want anything, I really really don't. Nothing would be absolutely preferable to receiving all this wasteful nonsense that it's not even good enough to keep for next year's school tombola. I brought the staff home and my 11 year old DD wasn't interested in any of it.

Now I feel like I need to boy them all a plant or something, but honestly I resent feeling this way and I truly don't want to spend the money. I am 49 years old by the way, and the ages within the team range from early thirties to mid 60s.

Okay give it to me:

YANBU - adults at work should not be gifting each other total wasteful nonsense that creates obligation
YABU - you're ungrateful and miserable

we dont even have names in our secret santa, so just a £5 gift, and those who want to on the day

No need for presents at all.

I ticked YANBU but I think you are being unreasonable suggesting a Secret Santa.

There's this other thread about a manager who chose to give to charity instead of giving a gift to her staff. Maybe I should send my colleagues an email and say that this year I am donating money on their behalf instead of doing Christmas gifts.

That's a joke by the way, I won't be doing that!!

That's a joke by the way, I won't be doing that!!

Ha ha! According to that thread, the charity approach went down like a cup of cold sick. However, that was a slightly different situation - in that case, a manager who normally bought presents for everyone in her team. I think it would be better to say you're simply not doing presents and to make any charity donation privately.

Amongst the presents, there was also a little tub of handcream which was part of a lipbalm and handcream set, 6 pieces altogether, so I guess other colleagues got lipbalms and creams...

YANBU OP. I have also received a whole bunch of crap that I'd be way too embarrassed to re-gift; I'd even be embarrassed to gift similar tat or similar value items to the very people that have given them to me!!! And I'm embarrassed to receive them. And I agonise over writing a thank you card because I can't find the words to say anything remotely positive. It's just dire. Stop it already people.

Why is that a joke? Donating to charity is very common and gets you out of this nicely. Tell them a few weeks before.

I wouldn't suggest secret santa, there will be people who 'forget' to buy and you'll feel obliged to buy extra gifts for the shafted.

I would just the £1 Maltesers boxes if you feel you have to give something.

Why is that a joke?

Because the poster on the other thread has had her arse handed to her.

The best thing to do is not reciprocate so it breaks the cycle, otherwise the same thing will happen next year!