How can I help friend with a very sick child?

[SpongebobNoPants]

I’m posting here for traffic.
My lovely friend of over 26 years has just found out her 4 year old has leukaemia.
I’m heartbroken for her and obviously her gorgeous child.
I can’t visit her because of covid but I was thinking I could make them a care package with nice things in for the 2 of them?
I’m thinking snacks, games, books, colouring in stuff?

Do you think this would be suitable? Any suggestions are very welcome. I wish I could do more and support my friend but I can’t see her.

If anyone has been in this position either as the friend or parent of a sick child then please tell me what I can do to help.

I’m so sad for them

Yes definitely lovely. I've been the parent in this position. Keep the things small as there's not much storage in hospitals if they will be in for a bit for treatment. Most of all, just check in from time to time. You can say upfront you don't expect a reply but will drop a message from time to time. It's awfully lonely parenting a sick kid and just knowing there was someone thinking of us definitely helped. Hope the kid gets better. It's a horrible illness.

Things you may be able to do.
Phone.
Offer lifts.
Offer meals.
Be a listening ear.

Oh Yes. The fact someone cares enough to send a package means so much. Hospital is draining and lonely. For the mum a notebook, pen mini puzzle book, face wipes, hand wipes, mints boiled sweets, a nice deodorant would hit the spot for me.

I think this is a lovely idea. Make sure you put some nice hand cream/moisturizer in. Soooooo much hand washing and sanitizing in hospitals even pre Covid (had prem baby in NICU for 2 months, so I know!)

I think meals as well homemade meals that nourish that she can just heat up (if you're in a position to do that)

That's a lovely idea.
Add some treats for your friend too

Also message her saying you are there if she needs to talk and check in with her fairly often

Our 4 year old loves water books - Galt do good ones. Hope they're on the mend soon x

Just be her friend, she's going to need them more than ever.. Be the listener, set up zoom calls and be on call when she needs you.

Please put in a cosy soft blanket. Such a lovely idea

oh yes those painting books you paint with water. I loved those.

Not been in the same position with something so serious but DD was in and out of hospital with kidney issues when she was little. A nice travel mug, a decent coffee and decent teabags were what kept me sane. Also a nice handcream and something to do. Also, eating is expensive as only the child is fed usually, meaning that you're at the mercy of the canteen or the hospital shop. There was a Marks in our hospital but buying there every day was horrendously expensive.

If you know what the hospital has you could give a voucher so Costa or M&S so she can get something to eat
Blanket
Hand cream
Cook or other food delivery

I spent a lot of time in hospital, I really missed fresh fruit. A very good friend brought me magazines and fruit- I could have cried with her kindness. Dobble for kids might be good- easy to wipe, quick to tidy and easy to play.

If they’re staying over in hospital, maybe an eye mask and ear plugs each to maximise their chances of sleeping. I like the squishable gel ear plugs.

Yes, your idea is lovely OP. Even a card or drawing really lifts spirits when you are in this position.

Thank you for all the suggestions, really helpful!
I’m not sure what the food/cooking situation is there? I could put in some oranges and apples as they don’t need refrigeration... and things like the brunch bars, snacks like that?
Also I was thinking those little concentrated squash capsules.
Hand cream is a very useful idea.
Maybe face wipes
Mini shower gel
A nice flannel?
I like the idea of a blanket too

OP, when my dd was in hospital for a few months, I felt very alone. I didn't receive cards after she was born as I think people were worried she wouldn't make it. But it hurt.

Sending her regular messages (and saying it's fine if she doesn't reply) would mean so much. Maybe even in the evening when it feels even lonelier.

I agree regarding the Costa card (or whatever is in the hospital) and some hand cream/sanitizer etc.

What a lovely friend you are.

Hand cream and travel mug was what I appreciated most when my baby was in PICU. In many wards you can only drink out of a cup with a lid.

I've spent lots of time in hospital with poorly children. I found messages from people saying they were thinking of us really helpful. Also entertainment for me as I spent a lot of time sat next to a sleeping child. I found magazines too depressing and I got addicted to teenage fiction books as a form of escapism. Also vouchers for whatever food outlets in or near the hospital as the cost of food for parents really adds up.

So a travel mug and a good book too. Great ideas!
Some nice coffee too? Maybe some of those sachets of latte or mocha because I’m not sure if she’ll have milk.
I’m not sure what facilities they have at the children’s hospital as luckily I’ve never had to go there.

He’s going to be all over Christmas... so maybe a nice Santa teddy for him too?

Some great ideas OP but don't send her boxes and boxes of stuff! There will be restrictions on what she can take in and out.

Does she like games? If I had to spend a lot of time in hospital I'd probably like to play online scrabble with a friend...

Money for the car park....
Argh the joys of trying park. Several weeks of that is costly.

Though some hospitals give you a discount or a free car parking ticket if you are going to there a long time and/or a serious situation. I found that to be one of the loveliest things - but car parking at our children's hospital is awf.

Find out what concessions operate at that hospital and send her gift cards for them.

Some energy bars.

Personally I wouldn’t send a Santa teddy, hospitals are often inundated over Christmas with donations from local charities and hand those sorts of things out to all their Christmas patients. Don’t send lots - as others have said, it all takes up space.

A helium balloon always goes down well here - even when feeling utterly weak and limp the gentlest motion can make it bounce. And it floats so doesn’t take up precious space on the table or bedside.

Best gift though is just regular “thinking of you, happy to chat but no need to reply if timing’s bad, hope it’s all going well” type messages every few days.

Everyone rallies at the beginning but it’s the long haul which is wearying.

Depending on tiers and local restrictions etc., the offer of laundry or a meal drop for anyone left at home is good too. And if there are siblings, then please if you’re sending something for the sick child also send something for the brothers and sisters.

Thank you for ideas everyone. I really appreciate your help.

So I’ve put together a small bag for both mummy and child.

In the child’s one I’ve put some activity/sticker books, a pencil case which I’ve filled with crayons, some dinosaur tissues (he loves dinosaurs), a kids joke book and some nice biscuits.

For mum I bought a toiletry bag set with little containers she can fill with her own products and a travel mirror. In the bag I’ve put mini shower gel, hand cream, nice smelling hand sanitiser, chewing gum, body spray, face wipes etc.
Also a book, some coffee sachets which you just add water to in various flavours, a travel coffee mug, some squash and some snacks like nutrigrain bars.

I hope these will be ok and she’ll feel the love and care we have for them both