My mum is on her own. My dad died earlier in the year. Mum tried living with us but missed home too much and found it hard to settle when covid had stopped all activities for elderly.
She has a very tricky MH history-bipolar (but doesn't accept diagnosis) and has been low since dad died. She has attempted suicide several times in the past (not in the last ten years).
We had planned to have her with us over Christmas in our self contained annexe, from 23-27/12.
She is support bubble with us, but in tier 4 from tomorrow.
I feel as if we could argue care needs, but could be counter argued "well visit then". And she won't want to be with us permanently, or until tier 4 restrictions lifted, so it's not even as though we can argue that.
Am I wrong? Could we justify it? I'm full of the 🤬at the moment, having discovered that friends' kids are hanging out indoors with friends/boyfriends and don't want to become a hypocrite. On the one hand, mum is elderly, vulnerable and alone. On the other hand, she has carers come in and could be on her own if necessary.
It's further complicated by the fact that, even if mum didn't come, we would still form a Christmas bubble for the 25th with DJ's parents. So mum would be on her own, knowing that DH's parents would be with us.
And a part of me knows I could travel to her, as we are part of the same bubble, but I don't want to be away from my kids.
It's a muddle in my head. I feel very selfish in my thinking. Not sure if this is even an aibu. But if it is its aibu for not having told mum to pack a bag and gone to get her tonight. Or aibu for wanting to be with my kids more than my mum.