To worry about them holding baby

[polkadotpenguin]

I'm due to meet up with family (60s parents and 2 older sisters) on Christmas Eve morning outdoors and have a five month old.
They have all held baby briefly in summer with masks on, which was all I was comfortable with and even that was only after nagging, and see us regularly outdoors without holding.
However, they have all said that they expect a 'Christmas cuddle' with baby when we meet next week.
I nodded along without really considering it. They have since mentioned again how much they can't wait for a cuddle.

AIBU to be thinking I wish I hadn't agreed and consider telling them no cuddle? We are in a tier 2 area but they all go out and work in public settings. The baby isn't vulnerable but I just don't like the thought of it - I'm not weird about it all, we go to distanced Playgroups, we go to shops and cafes and meet friends outdoors a lot but I still follow all the rules around distancing etc.
If it's relevant, my husband's mother is our bubble so I can't bubble with them. This has caused some jealousy because she gets to hold the baby even though she goes nowhere.

Now I'm wondering if I'm the only one? Should i loosen up it seems like everyone expects it

YABU - lighten up and hand over the baby
YANBU - better to keep it distanced

I think it's worse for very young children to not get physical affection from others. Paediatrians have spoken about this.

I have a 5 month old also and all my family held her in the summer , I’m due to see 2 households over Xmas and I will be letting my family hold her again xx

Maybe I'm more strange about it than I thought then! If it's generally the done thing then I don't want to be neurotic about it

How does hands washed, masks on then cuddle sound to you OP?
Your baby, your rules regardless.

If you were shielding due to extreme vulnerabilities then I would totally say no holding.

But you got to playgroups still with a bunch of randoms who could themselves or people they see or live with be breaking rules left right and centre. Yet won't let family have a quick cuddle outdoors?

I think I'd let them, after all the risk to babies is known to be very minimal.

I'd let them have a cuddle ( if they agree to wear masks and not touch his face or kiss him) then when you get home , strip him off and put clean clothes on him.

I was a like this when my baby was younger but realised it was over the top.

Baby is 8 months now and has been held since 3 months old. I was very stressed for the first few weeks and would bath him immediately after we had gotten home but again, I was being over the top.

It was hard, but my baby loves cuddles and I felt it was important for friends and family to bond with him. I now don’t give it a second thought.

I hope all goes well.

YABU this is not really normal.

I’d be uncomfortable with it too and think it’s unfair to put someone in this position.

Someone I know has a baby less than a month old that’s being passed from pillar to post between lots of friends and families (around 15 separate households). We are equivalent of Tier 3 and shouldn’t be mixing indoors at all. Over the festivities the baby will be getting passed to elderly relatives and other clinically vulnerable family members including a high risk pregnancy. Most babies would be asymptomatic but could carry Covid. I think it’s all madness to be honest.

Personally I’m letting close family hold my baby but then we’re spending Christmas together so as adults were unlikely to be socially distancing. I do think it’s your baby and your choice and if you’re not comfortable with it that’s your choice.

I have a five month old baby too OP and suffer with anxiety. My DM is in our support bubble and will be able to hold LO at Christmas. My PIL won't, because they break the rules and don't seem that interested most of the time, only when it suits them.

Going to socially distanced playgroups if different. You're not within spitting distance of someone else.

My baby is not going to suffer by socially distancing from PIL.

It's your baby, so whatever you and babys dad are happy with.

We let family hold and cuddle baby all they like. I see the risk of COVID as relatively small but the risk of missing out on family bonding huge.

How on earth do you think your baby is going to have a healthy immune system for the future when you aren't letting it get develop now?

What do you think the risk is? Your baby your rules, but this makes no logical sense.

I don't understand why people have to hold a baby in order to bond. Isn't this like the threads on here when the in laws demand to have time alone with a GC in order to bond, and players say that's OTT? It's a nice to have for them, but I don't think it's necessary. My LO adores one of my aunties more than most other people, and it's because she's got the baby chat nailed, nothing to do with how often she is/isn't held.

Asking them to wear masks again might be a good balance, I don't want to deprive them of bonding time but I know they don't follow the rules and go to their friends houses etc (one sister has already had COVID) I think I would get abuse for asking though.

Just say masks and give them a pack of baby wipeS.

If they get the arse then shrug and say ok no cuddle.

Your baby your choice. I’m allowing it with masks and washed hands. I’m low risk for covid but it’s really knocked previously fit and healthy friends and I don’t really fancy caring for baby Dtwins while exhausted with covid.

I’m letting my family cuddle my baby because I think the benefits he gets from that socialisation far outweigh the Covid risk. It’s totally up to you what boundaries you set for your own baby though - do what feels right to you.

I wouldn't feel comfortable with it either OP. I'd rather be accused of being over protective and my baby be safe tha pass them around and them get ill. This is the case with me before covid though with winter flu etc anyway.

Have you checked the Tier 2 rules?

I'd keep it distanced for your own sake. So they come from different households, are still working, but want a cuddle? If they are asymptomatic or unknown to themselves have covid, they could give it to your baby. S/he will be fine. However you and your household may not be.

If you don't want to, don't.

I wouldn't, either.