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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take only 1 child?

27 replies

PPAK2 · 19/12/2020 09:47

I have 2 children, a 5 year old and a 9 month old. I am taking the 5 y/o to the park. Is it unreasonable to leave the baby with their dad?

OP posts:
TheBumbleNums · 19/12/2020 09:48

Er, why would it be unreasonable to leave a baby with their father? Confused

Cantdoitallperfectly · 19/12/2020 09:48

No not at all, divide and conquer is a phrase in our household.

It’ll be nice for you to spend time one on one with your 5 year old.

HoneyWheeler · 19/12/2020 09:49

Totally fine!

Camomila · 19/12/2020 09:50

Of course not, we often alternate which child we take out to the park.
DS2 (10.5m) can only go on the baby swings and will get cold and bored while his older brother plays.
DS1 gets bored walking loops of the park while his brother naps in the pushchair.

Beamur · 19/12/2020 09:50

No. Not remotely unreasonable.

NerrSnerr · 19/12/2020 09:50

Of course it's fine. My children are 6 and 3 and we still do things separately at times (like I'll take the eldest ice skating and my husband will go to the park with the younger etc). Big fan of divide and conquer here.

ineedaholidaynow · 19/12/2020 09:51

Why are you asking? This is pretty normal behaviour for many families

ChristmasTreeFairy5000 · 19/12/2020 09:51

Let me guess who the person objecting to this is................

Dad perhaps?!

Sally872 · 19/12/2020 09:51

Yanbu. Wondering what you think the issue would be. 9 month old would need a lot of attention at the park so nice to take 5 year old alone sometimes.

InTheDrunkTank · 19/12/2020 09:52

Why would it be unreasonable? Firstly it's nice to have one on one time with each child secondly the 9 month old presumably can't do much at the park anyway.

BrandyandDeath · 19/12/2020 09:52

The most attention-seeking thread title I've seen this week

InTheDrunkTank · 19/12/2020 09:52

It's not like you're taking your 8 year old to disney land and leaving your 6 year old at home!

TooMinty · 19/12/2020 09:55

Totally the opposite, it's really important to have one on one time with your older child when you have a baby. Who thinks that you are being unreasonable and why?!

NoSquirrels · 19/12/2020 09:55

No one would say this is unreasonable (unless they are a lazy fecker who doesn’t fancy parenting.)

Original poster
PPAK2 · 19/12/2020 09:58

Yeah the person objecting is dad. 'But i just don't understand why you never want to take them anywhere'. It's the second time in a long time I've taken the 5 year old out alone. Think he thought he would get to chill out on his own.

OP posts:
blessedfig · 19/12/2020 10:01

Urgh, getting out of parenting and trying to make you feel guilty. Not good at all from your dp.

InTheDrunkTank · 19/12/2020 10:02

If dad is objecting to looking after his own baby then it's even more important you go (or if he's so desperate for them both to go he can take them both to the park and you can have a bath!).

I have a friend whose DH rarely takes care of his own kids (7 and 5) and when he does my friend is rushing to get back as fast as she can because she knows he'll just let them play inappropriate games on the xbox and eat junk. I'd nip it in the bud now.

Beamur · 19/12/2020 10:02

A-ha, why am I not surprised...
Ah well, tough Grin

Mycircusmymonkey · 19/12/2020 10:03

Tell him to take both to the park then!

Sally872 · 19/12/2020 10:03

Awful behaviour by dh. If he wants an hour to himself that is fine, he should just say that though and generally offer an hour back in return. Making you feel bad for not taking younger one is shit.

TodgerStrunk · 19/12/2020 10:04

"One child less" is our philosophy. If you were used to 2 kids, taking 5 out would be a nightmare. But if you have 6 kids, only taking 5 out would be bliss.

What can a 9 month old do in the park anyway? Mainly watch a 5 year old. The only point in taking them would be so you'd have the pushchair and didn't have to carry anything Grin

RaRaLaLaLaaa · 19/12/2020 10:05

Leave them both and go by yourself.

Of course yanbu to take only the oldest. This shouldn't even be a discussion in a normal household.

marcopront · 19/12/2020 10:05

@PPAK2

Yeah the person objecting is dad. 'But i just don't understand why you never want to take them anywhere'. It's the second time in a long time I've taken the 5 year old out alone. Think he thought he would get to chill out on his own.
When did he last take them both out?
Quartz2208 · 19/12/2020 10:06

No of course not - it is too cold and wet for a 9 month old to be in park but a 5 year old would enjoy it

You have a partner problem

Original poster
PPAK2 · 19/12/2020 10:17

It's just more faff taking the baby as my son i can practically throw in the car and go, plus it'll be over dinner so baby will need food. And yeah, sat there cold and bored when she's got everything she needs at home. And then my attention isn't going to be on my son it'll be on her.

I can't remember the last time he took them both out alone but he doesn't have a problem with it, although it's more likely he will take DS out alone.

OP posts: