To ask for tips on conversing when the other person doesn't ask me anything about myself?

[MmeQ]

I have a theory that there are (at least) two categories of people when it comes to making conversation.

One likes to ask questions and then expects the other person to ask them questions.

The other tends to volunteer something about themselves and then expects the other person to volunteer a similar bit of information.

I am more in the first category, but I find the most balanced conversations to be a mix of the two.

Someone that's in my life at the moment is firmly in the second category and I find it hard to talk to them. I think I rely on questions as a way of sort of coaxing conversation out of me, and I find it hard to just volunteer things about myself out of nowhere.

Does anyone have any tips or thoughts? I would like to get better at this.

It depends what you are chatting about surely. So like if it’s about Christmas and they say they are making a turkey roast, you say “ah but is with all the trimmings? Because that’s why I’m planning/because I don’t do sprouts” so a question and volunteering an unimportant piece of info. Mix of both

I’ve been to those gatherings (not recently, obviously). When you’re stuck with a person who just goes on and on about themself - the holidays they’ve had, their children, their house etc. Even when I attempt to open up the conversation more, they still wing it back to them and their “interesting” life. And when they’re done, they say “It’s been nice talking to you.” Inwardly I reply “Maybe next time we can talk all about me?” One day, that line will pop out without me even realising.

I’ve just had a phone conversation with someone like this today. I ask questions and get no questions in return, so I volunteer information and all that happens is that they change the subject back to them.

It’s been ten years and they’re getting worse, so I can’t see them changing any time soon. I’ve run out of ideas and have just about run out of interest in the friendship.

@Saddlesore. I suspect if you did that they would be outraged as they probably think that they are an excellent conversationalist!

Volunteer information that is connected but also moves the conversation on.

"I'm visiting the in-laws for Christmas this year" could be answered "Oh that's nice. Do you visit them every year, or do you take turns with your parents?" Or "Sounds lovely, my in-laws are too far away..."

It doesn't have to be deep and meaningful.