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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Anyone else getting whatsapp burnout?

27 replies

CrotchBurn · 18/12/2020 19:04

OK so it's been great during lockdown and it definitely feels like I need it since close family are in different countries.

But I am starting to get major whatsapp burnout. It's like an eternal game of tennis. Yiu smash out a message and then before you even have time to get the hell out of there someone has put the ball back in your court.

I'm so sick of seeing these notifications and being involved in groups and conversations that just keep on going. I'm thinking about just uninstalling it and going back to phone calls but then there's a feeling that I'm somehow missing out? It always feels like im behind and like I have to "deal with whatsapp" the way I would my work projects. It's crazy.

Does anybody else feel this way?

What I dont get is that I dont feel the same intensity with text messages or Messenger. It's a WhatsApp thing. But why is it? Those fucking ticks...

This is so ridiculous and sad because it's only an app but honest to God WhatsApp really is tiring me out. But can I really uninstall it? It feels like then I'd be out of the loop with my family.

OP posts:
HopeAndDriftWood · 18/12/2020 19:07

Do you ever take a break from it?

I went through a strict month or so of muting notifications after 6pm and on Sundays. People could call if they needed me, I just didn’t look at WhatsApp. That seemed to break the need to check new messages quickly, and now I can happily leave them until it suits me to read and reply...

Snapchat annoys me more, I have a few friends who only use that to chat and as the messages disappear, if you don’t reply immediately, I’ve got no idea what we were talking about. That’s a pain in the arse.

thepeopleversuswork · 18/12/2020 19:07

I do love WhatsApp and its been a life-saver for me recently but I know what you mean: I'm in so may groups, both professionally and personally and I find it exhausting.

I'm on quite a few that my boyfriend is on in some cases with people I hardly know and in some cases the volume of stuff is just overwhelming: there are more than 20 people on a thread firing out stuff more or less around the clock. I've had to mute a couple of them because it became too much.

MrsEfr0n · 18/12/2020 19:11

Yes I definitely get this. I’d recommend muting chats and just catching up when it’s convenient for you. I hate this need for people to be available constantly.

CrotchBurn · 18/12/2020 19:12

@thepeopleversuswork
The groups I feel semi okay about actually because you can mute them or you can check in every now and then. Actually it's the one on ones that can sometimes feel a bit stressful. There was a post on the "things you find rude" thread where a poster was talking about when some people seem to reply INSTANTLY, I get that, and it means you never have a "clear desk". I like to have that clear desk feeling but when people are pinging messages back in real time all the time it's like I'm never "on top" of it. I always owe someone a message and it weighs on me a bit. I know that's my problem though. But somehow it doesnt feel that way with things like email or Messenger. Just trying to figure out why that is?

OP posts:
Imissmoominmama · 18/12/2020 19:13

My WhatsApp is muted, so I only see it if I look. I couldn’t be doing with it pinging at me!

BabyLlamaZen · 18/12/2020 19:14

Yes! I have a baby and I try so hard to take time out to reply to people (especially my friends who are on their own). And when they reply so quickly it's just 😩.

Floridana · 19/12/2020 10:24

I understand how you feel. It's so frustrating when you send a message and then they reply straight away because you feel under pressure to keep the conversation going. I hate leaving people on read because I know how it can sometimes feel a bit put out if someone does that to me mid conversation. And it does get annoying when conversations start then stop constantly. I have to turn my phone off at a certain time in the evening. If someone texts me they will see it hasn't been delivered so there's no angst. Then I reply next morning

vanillandhoney · 19/12/2020 10:25

God, I couldn't be dealing with that Grin

I don't even have WhatsApp. I just use messenger or text and reply when it's convenient. If I know people are liable to get huffy if I don't reply, I leave them unread.

DownUdderer · 19/12/2020 10:32

You can't live with always feeling guilty about messages! You need to block time out where you're not dealing with it. I don't have WhatsApp, so I don't know how it works. But it's taking up a lot of emotional or mental space. You need a good break off point from it.

DougCarson · 12/07/2021 06:19

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Sleepingdogs12 · 12/07/2021 06:43

When I have had enough I usually round up the conversation with 'have a good day ' or something like you would in real life and then don't look again.

Chiffandbip · 12/07/2021 06:45

Mine have all gone a bit quiet now things have opened up nn6 a bit.

Cloudninenine · 12/07/2021 06:56

Yes, I hate it. I hate it when people have the expectation of long conversations over WhatsApp - who has the time?! I have one friend who responds instantly to every message I send and always with a question so you feel compelled to reply. And if you don’t reply right away she sends further messages to ‘check you’re ok’ 😫 she would happily conduct a WhatsApp conversation lasting all evening, and I can’t think of anything worse.

The thing that has really helped me manage it is permanently muting every group chat. That way I can check in on WhatsApp when I want to and have the time / inclination to reply, without feeling the pressure of all those red notifications.

bonfireheart · 12/07/2021 06:59

Any work groups are all on my work phone which does make it easier.
Even for personal groups, mute them when it gets too much.

HermioneGrunger · 12/07/2021 07:03

I have WhatsApp muted, no notifications, not even work chats. It's bliss, try it Grin

careerchangeperhaps · 12/07/2021 07:05

Yes I loath it. Between the various family groups, one for each of the kids' activities / sports teams / school classes, my hobbies etc. It's never ending.

pannikin · 12/07/2021 07:08

This is why I turned off my notifications and now I only look at it when I want to

2Rebecca · 12/07/2021 07:11

Agree no notifications on so I just look at and respond to Whatsapp when I have the time and inclination

readingismycardio · 12/07/2021 07:13

I freaking hate it! University group (that stopped for the summer, phew), work group (500+ messages a day), friends group, family group plus the usual random messages. All groups are on mute, I check it once a day.

blindmansbluff · 12/07/2021 07:14

Also you can turn off the ticks so people can't see if you've read the message Wink

HellaChange · 12/07/2021 07:20

@blindmansbluff

Also you can turn off the ticks so people can't see if you've read the message Wink
How do you do that???!!! I never knew you could do that!
DarlingCoffee · 12/07/2021 07:33

Mute and leave the groups you don’t like. Account/Privacy/Read Receipts to turn off RR

Jent13c · 12/07/2021 07:34

I've whatsapped the bigger groups. Annoyingly my work uses a fb group and there is no way to silence it while still being a fb user. I got 26 notifications of different learnings/moanings about what we were all doing wrong one day off. V difficult to separate work from personal life now.

Jent13c · 12/07/2021 07:35

*muted

WildfirePonie · 12/07/2021 07:40

Zombie thread...

I uninstalled it earlier this year, sick and tired of people thinking my phone is a third limb... projecting their own unhealthy obsession onto me.

I barely touch my phone so whatsapp was a huge pain. Life is better when you are free from whatsapp.