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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to scream at school WhatsApp - THANK YOUs

94 replies

SpaceOp · 18/12/2020 15:53

I am being a total grinch, I get it. But last day of term and the 400 Merry Christmas, thanks everyone for being so great, thanks class reps for organising presents, I love this class so much... messages have started. At last count I was on 15 messages in the last 30 minutes.

This, of course, follows the endless confirmations we've had this week such as, "Ooh, johnny didn't get a Christmas card from the teacher, is there a mistake" and then every single person checking in to say that yes, they got theirs.

I know, I know, just mute or exit group. But usually it's actually pretty sensible and v useful. It's just this crazy end of term at Christmas thing!!!!

OP posts:

Tierrasfuente · 19/12/2020 12:50

If ny son's class has a whatsapp group, I have never been invited and am glad. There is a facebook group with approx one post a week. The rest of the time I just message someone individually if I want to check something. My DD's class had a facebook group but it wasn't a nice one so I left. I haven't missed it!

MsAwesomeReindeer · 19/12/2020 12:53

I'm in a union WhatsApp group at work which is generally pretty normal with "what time is the meeting after school finishing?" And other general banalities which you could probably find quicker if you just read your emails.

This year, as I'm sure you can imagine, it's been a hotbed of venting and sounding off about the latest DfE announcements. You should have seen the comments on Thursday night/Friday morning!!! The loudest moaners in normal times have become staunch defenders of our SLT as ever more crap has been dumped on them by the government.

MsAwesomeReindeer · 19/12/2020 12:55

I'm very glad there isn't one for dd's class at school though. Or if there is, I haven't been invited to join. Most of the parents have my number from when we've invited them to parties in the past, but there's only 3 who I speak to/message with any sort of regularity. That's enough!

lazyarse123 · 19/12/2020 12:58

@Sparklingbrook

I am in a work Google one, there's people who read everything and never comment, people who always comment on everything and those that never seem to read or comment. I think you soon learn who is which one, so you could be the one who never comments.

My work has one. I fortunately don't have a smart phone. Our manager is forever sending sales figures, it's a shop so we don't really have much control over that other than making it look good, which we do as that is our job 😕. Nearly everyone has muted it as any useful info is lost in all the drivel.

InTheDrunkTank · 19/12/2020 13:01

My youngest DC's class has a whatsapp group and it's fine, occasional posts with reasonable questions (yes the info was probably available elsewhere but it's nice to be able to quickly check rather than trawling through the school magasine).

Eldest DC has a class whatsapp group which is a complete nightmare.....constant bitchy infighting about almost everything. e.g. who is organising the teacher's gifts, we give JL vouchers every year so it really doesn't matter who the hell does it but a few are desperate to be the one who officially presents the poor teacher with them (the teacher always looks embarrased and a bit harassed to have to stop morning preparations to have a big presentation and would probably prefer to just be given them quietly to open later). A big argument about the cake sale and exactly what dimensions of cupcake were acceptable for the 50p charge. Then there's always someone asks about what the homework was and it's always really awkward because some people want to show off that their child has the extension work but on the other hand if they don't send the extension work the person is offended that they've assumed their DC doesn't get the extension work. One person once asked about speach therapists as she was quite worried about her DC and a few people were giving helpful advice. Then the queen bee chimes in with a really sarcastic message that there had been too many notifications on her phone and it was giving her a headache. In general there's a lot of competitiveness about who's most clued in or is most 'in' with the teachers. 'I've spoken alot to mrs X about this and I can't say too much but.....' etc. I just mute the whole group.

itsgettingweird · 19/12/2020 13:10

@ForestNymph

The worst thing about ours was everyone recorded a happy birthday for each child's birthday. Yet when my son was moving class, I asked the parents if they could record their child saying goodbye. I don't care for that stuff but DS does. One person did it. They could all manage to do everybody's birthday, but couldn't say a goodbye and good luck for my son, who was moving to a special school because mainstream couldn't meet his needs. He kept asking me why his friends wouldn't talk to him.

I refuse to be in one ever again after that experience. Bunch of dickheads.

That is awful. Your poor ds. I hope he has a group of friends worthy of his friendship in his new school.

Thismustbelove · 19/12/2020 13:17

Some parents are way too invested in their kids school life. It's sad really

The same parents are aware of what work the kids are working on in school, their children's homework, if they need additional help, extra reading at night.

It works both ways.

And better to be 'too' involved than not being involved enough.

InTheDrunkTank · 19/12/2020 13:42

@Thismustbelove

Some parents are way too invested in their kids school life. It's sad really

The same parents are aware of what work the kids are working on in school, their children's homework, if they need additional help, extra reading at night.

It works both ways.

And better to be 'too' involved than not being involved enough.

I think the problem is that the over involved parents aren't doing it for the benefit of their child. Reading with your child every night and supporting their school work really doesn't involve much interaction with the class whatsapp group. The over involved parents are the ones who use the school to boost their own ego about how important they are or how well their child's doing. It's absolute for their benefit not their childs.

Thismustbelove · 19/12/2020 13:55

InTheDrunkTank

I don’t agree. My observation from working in a school and being a parent, is the parents who are quite involved in the whatsapp groups tend to be the parents who are quite involved in their children’s progress.

InTheDrunkTank · 19/12/2020 14:15

Definitely not usually the case @Thismustbelove and even in the cases where it is being a pain on the whatsapp group doesn't help your child. Squabbling about who buys JL vouchers for the teachers isn't helpful, getting inolved in petty playground disputes doesn't help your DC. Even when it's associated with your DC and their learning micro analysing their results isn't in the least helpful and is actually negative long term (it's something I see at secondary level all the time where the kids have never learned to take responsibility for their own learning).

Unless there's an actial issue most kids just need a little bit of encouragement at home and that's it. Parents managed for decades without whatsapp. Take the to the library, museums etc arrange a quiet time and place for homework to be done but don't try to insert yourself into every aspect of their lives.

Thismustbelove · 19/12/2020 14:23

InTheDrunkTank

I think you’ve been unlucky or perhaps I’ve been lucky in the Whatsapp groups I’m in.

There has rarely been arguing apart from one time when someone took it upon herself to lay down ‘rules’ of when and why someone should post on the group.

That parent resulted in the Whatsapp group dying a death as parents made their own smaller private groups instead. It was a real shame for the parents whose children who didn’t have a select group of friends.

ForestNymph · 19/12/2020 14:24

Thank you, he's a lot happier now. The sad thing was he wanted to go back into his old school because "i don't want my friends to be worried about where I've gone, I want to tell them I'm okay". It was heartbreaking because none of them had given enough of a crap to contact him or say goodbye.

He's fine now, much happier at his new school.

ForestNymph · 19/12/2020 14:24

That was supposed to quote @itsgettingweird, dont know what's going on with my phone.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 19/12/2020 14:25

I hear ya.

I'm tempted to leave mine after this week, following a joint effort (and by effort I mean people bought presents so really no more effort than they were putting in anyway) to have a secret Santa for the kids, one Amanda-from-Motherland style mum said "Awesome job mums, teamwork is dreamwork".

WIBU to leave mine based on that message alone?

ArhedisVarkenjaab · 19/12/2020 18:35

Our class Whatsapp is useful and chilled, no gushing anything. It clearly depends on the users!

DilyteGelyte · 19/12/2020 21:41

You are so right, these parents have nothing else to do

I personally mute the group, occasionally I do have a look at the feed because our school (which supposed to be the best in the area) is shit at communicating.

But you never know when you may need to ask a question or comment on something.
I messaged when I found a purse, or some kid nicked my son's scooter, in this case the other parents were very helpful.
But I agree, 30 thank yous for the cards and so on messages are extremely annoying.
You do learn to ignore after some time.

Oh yeah, now it became popular for someone to post some philanthropic charity thing they do and if anyone is interested to donate a bag or something and half of the parents jump at it. It's like a marathon, who is better at giving, who is the better input in the community or whatever crap is going on. On pleaeeaaase!

Hm2020 · 20/12/2020 00:32

I’m going to go against the grain here as ours has been really good during the 1st lockdown and the panic in general people bending over backwards to help single parents islolating with COVID get shopping and prescriptions my sons pe coach used to get us his prescriptions as he was cev all of this organised through the WhatsApp group either by other parents actually running round getting stuff or informing the school that another parent was struggling etc... but yes sometimes it does need to be silenced for a bit

boqq · 20/12/2020 01:47

Well you never heard the half of it. In my daughter’s group there was a whole discussion because some kids didn’t get back what they put in for Secret Santa. The insults soon started flowing. No wonder some kids are so rude with parents like that!

Happycat74 · 20/12/2020 09:15

@BertieBotts

Just mute the group! You can mute it for a whole year if you want to :o

That's exactly what I did! Although the group was useful for some information it drove me completely mad!

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