Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sleeping arrangements

15 replies

ChristingleAlltheWay · 18/12/2020 10:38

Reading a thread concerning sleeping arrangements for Christmas has reminded me of a situation a few years ago and I wondered how people here would have arranged it.

1 parent, 2dd (one 20, other 10). Four-bed house but with a sofa-bed (comfortable) in the spare room. Oldest dd has a uni friend who will be doing work experience in the city so invites her to stay for the summer. Friend will be paying for lodgings.

Since putting the lodger on the sofa-bed is out of the question, which dd would you move to the spare room? Elder dd as it's her friend causing the move, or the younger as she gets her room for the rest of the year?

YABU - elder should move
YANBU - younger should move

OP posts:
Gardeniaofdelights · 18/12/2020 10:41

Elder should move. No reason why the ten year old should be evicted from her room because of a situation that has nothing to do with her.

Theyouttheresayin · 18/12/2020 10:44

Elder - it's not the younger child's fault. Our I would have had DD share with her friend, even with paying for lodgings presumably it would be an almost token amount and not near what living n an official houseshare would be by the time deposits, rent and bills were accounted for.

BringMeThatHorizon · 18/12/2020 10:45

I'd either have move the elder into the spare room on the sofa bed, or bought a cheap bed and mattress for the spare room to replace the sofa bed and put the lodger in there.

user1493413286 · 18/12/2020 10:45

Why is putting the lodger on the sofa bed be out of the question? I would have only agreed to them staying for the summer if they happy to be on the sofa bed. If really out of the question then I’d move the 20 year old as it’s her friend causing the move; it’s not really fair on the 10 year old when they aren’t anything to do with it.

WhatKatyDidNxt · 18/12/2020 10:45

Elder. It was her choice, not sure what’s it’s got to do with the youngest

Looneytune253 · 18/12/2020 10:50

Eh? If there's a good sofa bed in the spare room then that's fine for a guest. That's what it's there for

Chamomileteaplease · 18/12/2020 11:04

Yes, lodger in the spare room with rent charged appropriately.

FestiveChristmasLights · 18/12/2020 11:06

I would have put the lodger in the spare room with the comfortable sofa bed. If necessary, the payment can reflect the type of bed being slept on.

TeenPlusTwenties · 18/12/2020 11:06

@Chamomileteaplease

Yes, lodger in the spare room with rent charged appropriately.
This.
Lightsontbut · 18/12/2020 11:15

I can't understand why lodger can't be on sofa bed. If there is some genuine reasons, eldest should move into the spare room and if that's not possible for whatever reason also makes it inappropriate for the lodger than into the youngest's room but not the youngest's bed.

SleepingStandingUp · 18/12/2020 11:17

@user1493413286

Why is putting the lodger on the sofa bed be out of the question? I would have only agreed to them staying for the summer if they happy to be on the sofa bed. If really out of the question then I’d move the 20 year old as it’s her friend causing the move; it’s not really fair on the 10 year old when they aren’t anything to do with it.
Exactly.

The sofa bed is too crap of someone is paying for it but is totally fine for your own kids cos they're less important

InTheLongGrass · 18/12/2020 11:20

Lodger on the sofa bed.
If that's not appropriate, it not suitable for either child either, so a new bed is required for the spare room.

PizzaForOne · 18/12/2020 11:55

You'd offer the lodger the sofa bed (unless your eldest voluntarily offers their own bed) - and charge reasonably for this. If not good enough for the lodging friend (I doubt it tbh), they can find alternative accommodation.

Why you are considering forcing either DD to give up their room is weird...

Guest room is for.... guests

Original poster
ChristingleAlltheWay · 18/12/2020 12:20

Thanks everyone!

As I said in the OP, this happened a while ago. I was the younger DD and was made to sleep in the spare room for the duration. Apparently I was happy with the arrangement but, tbh, I wouldn't have been allowed to say if I wasn't.

I just don't understand why my sister wasn't made to give up her room. Well, I do, she'd have thrown a tantrum, but I really think my mother should have let her or otherwise refused the friend. As I said, another thread reminded me of this, and I'm now wondering if this contributed to my sister's ongoing sense of entitlement.

As for the lodger being in the spare room, I'm pretty sure my mother wouldn't have felt it was 'proper'.

OP posts:
murasaki · 18/12/2020 12:36

As someone who spent a summer in a caravan on the front drive as my parents decided to let my room to a foreign language student (they did this every summer, but normally had enough room on the top floor, but the school were short of a placement that year so begged and paid over the odds) I couldn't get aerated about this. It was ace, i had my mates round (was 14) as part of the deal, in my own little house (obv used the house bathroom, and other than sleeping in there and having mate hangouts was in the house the rest of the time), it was an adventure!

These days social services would probably have had a word

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread