Covid Christmas Family Dilemmas

[Gimjax]

My partner of 4 years and I don’t live together, we are really struggling with the whole Christmas bubbles thing. He is seeing his ex and children Christmas morning and then coming to mine for Christmas dinner. He is hosting Boxing Day at his house for his family. His Mum has a type of leukaemia so it high risk but she insists she wants to see all the family. I will not be joining them and will go to see my on family on Boxing Day with my three grown up children.

Our dilemma is my mum wants me to join our family at hers on Christmas Evening as well as Boxing Day along with 3 other households, my partner wont come because that would then increase risk of seeing his parents on Boxing Day..

I’ve tried to say to my mum that I will have Christmas Day at mine and join them for Boxing Day which I felt was reasonable!? My family are all now really upset with me now as I won’t see them Christmas Day even though I’m spending Boxing Day with them. My dad passed away 3 months ago so they are saying we should all be together.

I have tried to stick to the rules throughout this year as I am diabetic but none of the family care about Covid and are carrying on as usual and just think I’m taking it all too seriously!

I really hate upsetting people if I see my family on Christmas Evening then my OH will have to go back to his and spend Christmas evening alone which we are both upset about but if I stay at home with him my family are going to be really upset with me. Feeling so much pressure!
Morning everyone

Is it so unreasonable that I should want to spend Christmas Day with my partner and my children and then Boxing Day with my family?

You know it's only supposed to be three households in total mixing over the 5-day period, OP. Not three households every day!

It sounds like your DP already has his Xmas bubble limit without seeing you at all. Would be simpler to not see him and spend Xmas with your mum.

Sounds like you are way over the three household bubble already surely?

There is far too much mixing already. It is not three families every day, it should be no more than the same three families throughout the five day period. You (all of you not just you) cannot legally go ahead with these plans.

I swear these christmas arrangements are going to end up as maths questions in next year's exams ;)

Non of you are following the rules so whether your dp goes to your parents on Christmas or not it doesn't matter greatly - presumably you won't be avoiding each other for 10 days after boxing day so the risk of his parents and your parents are there for both of you.

Covid aside your family are being unreasonable. You should spend sometime with your partner, having one day with them is enough.

I was going to say the same. You're already mixing too much.
Three households are allowed to meet. Only 3. They're not allowed to change day to day.

Where are the three household bubbles here? I cant follow?

Far too much mixing going on there.

I don’t think you understand how the three bubble thing works!

@Chathamhouserules

Where are the three household bubbles here? I cant follow?

The partner has hit his limit on the first day. Him (one household) His ex (one household) The OP (one household)

OP is also by proxy exposed to the ex's household. So she's hit 3 too.

The rule isn't 3 households at any given time, it's the same 3 for the Christmas period.
It really doesn't work very well for people who have kids but have split and are seeing other people.

If I just see my family then that is the 3 households. My partner has always been in my bubble as he lives alone and as far as I understand his children also form part of his bubble. I'm not sure if these rules change over Christmas?

It is so difficult I am just going to have to upset someone this year!! There are rumours of us going into lockdown on 28th December so I can hide away from anyone I've upset.

"Our dilemma is my mum wants me to join our family at hers on Christmas Evening as well as Boxing Day along with 3 other households,"

Isn't that:
your mum/'s (household)
3 other households
you(household) so five households even without your partner?

@Gimjax

If I just see my family then that is the 3 households. My partner has always been in my bubble as he lives alone and as far as I understand his children also form part of his bubble. I'm not sure if these rules change over Christmas?

It is so difficult I am just going to have to upset someone this year!! There are rumours of us going into lockdown on 28th December so I can hide away from anyone I've upset.

No it isn’t, you need to count all the households. So if he is seeing his ex, his children and his parents then they all need to be included in the number. If your parents or siblings that you plan to see are seeing others, then they all need to be included in the overall count as well. You are completely misunderstanding the rules and need to go back and have another read.

Only three households can mix, not just at one time, but over the entire five day period.

I don’t see why anybody should be upset, surely adults can understand that this year is going to be different.

Here's a link to the Government advice
www.gov.uk/government/publications/making-a-christmas-bubble-with-friends-and-family/making-a-christmas-bubble-with-friends-and-family#households-where-everybody-is-not-in-the-same-christmas-bubble
Kids under 18 whose parents are not together can be in both bubbles.