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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to say please keep quiet

7 replies

alexisfranny280 · 18/12/2020 09:09

Needing advice for this AIBU, will try to keep it short.

Am currently 9 weeks pregnant with first child. Had told small handful of friends that we were trying. Found out last week that one of these friends has shared quite publicly with others that we are trying, which I am upset by.

Fast forward now to this week and I had an email from someone from work 2 nights ago letting me know that they think they might have let it slip to this same friend that I am pregnant (small world!) This person from work tried to cover up their mistake but unsure how well they managed this. So unsure if friend has worked it out from this encounter or not.

Should I fess up to this friend, tell them that I actually am pregnant and to keep their mouth shout? Or AIBU and should assume they will keep any suspicions quiet? I have quite literally only told my work place, not even parents yet.

To make matters more complicated (and I don't want to out myself on here over this) this same friend who didn't keep the secret is related to my family. Her Dad is currently dating my Mum (I know, really really small world!!), so has the possibility to end up sharing my news with my own mum before I do.

YANBU - tell her now so that she knows not to say anything
YABU - trust that even if she has suspicions she wouldn't share this with your own mum

OP posts:
DimidDavilby · 18/12/2020 09:11

Neither. Assume cat is already out of the bag and tell your mum before she does.

londongirl12 · 18/12/2020 09:13

Why have you told your friends but not your mum?

Sirzy · 18/12/2020 09:14

I think you need to just tell your mum now.

Ginfordinner · 18/12/2020 09:24

@londongirl12

Why have you told your friends but not your mum?
This ^^ Unfortunately, pregnancy news is big news and if you don't want people to know you really need to keep quiet about it. I have read far too many threads on MN about people not being able to keep news like this a secret.

And congratulations Flowers

altiara · 18/12/2020 09:24

I’d tell your mum now.
I’d also say if she hears the news from someone before you choose to announce it to friends/family, can she tell that person to stop spreading news that isn’t theirs to tell.

MaskingForIt · 18/12/2020 09:30

@londongirl12

Why have you told your friends but not your mum?
All depends on the relationships. I told friends before telling family because I knew I could rely on their support if it went wrong.
Diddlysquatty · 18/12/2020 09:32

I don’t think she has told friends - I think she’s told work colleagues maybe for work reasons
Was extremely bad for your work colleague to ‘let slip’ to someone else outside work

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