Is being a manager supposed to be this hard?

[User77898]

I’m a few weeks into my first ever managerial position.

I know the department and the people very well. I have done the role of the people I am managing for a fair few years but fuck me I feel like I’ve been mentally run over by a bus!

There is so much to learn and it’s all been thrown at me at once! I know I’ll get my head around it but at the moment I can’t think straight for the amount of new information I’m trying to process. There have been moments where I have felt a bit overwhelmed and have wondered if I’ve made the right choice when I applied for this promotion.

Please tell me it gets better!

Ooh....I feel your pain and have been in the same boat! Any new job, especially a promotion, is hard and a steep learning curve. Give yourself some time! Maybe the fact that you’ve already been in the dept and know the people is giving you a bit of ‘the fear’ as you may feel more pressure to know stuff ASAP compared to someone coming in from outside?

I recently got a big promotion and it’s tough. I think most people struggle at first.

Managing people is really hard. It’s time consuming and my god some people are just difficult buggers😊.

Hang in there, it will get better. Every promotion i have achieved I have found it tough for the first six months ago - imposter syndrome, self doubt, sleepless nights. It passes.

You'll get used to the role and you'll have more time, mental space, energy and confidence.

Managing people- you'll get used to that but they'll keep you on your toes.

My advice to you would be to have faith in your abilities, you got the job because your are capable of doing it. You will get on top of it and in a few months you will look back on this and smile about how worried you were

You need to give it time. Any new line manager makes a team unsettled and team members need time to adjust. I have managed 4 different teams and would say it took 3-6 months each time for me to feel accepted as their new manager and for the team to feel a better sense of some calmness. I found trying to meet my team members individually helped, they felt they had a voice and it helped me get to know them. You also have to develop a thick skin as you can't always be popular. Staff need to kbow you are supportive and fair, but give them clear direction. Make use of the experience of other managers by talking to them. Good luck in your new job

It's hard.

My advice:
Boundaries (lots of)
Read askamanager.org it is a good resource
Don't let your team give you their monkeys
hbr.org/1999/11/management-time-whos-got-the-monkey

Are there other managers at your work you can talk to? I felt like you in my first managerial position - felt like the other managers knew everything, had everything under control etc. Once I spoke to them, I realised they didn't. Not sure about your work/workplace but at mine, there is genuinely an infinite amount of things to know/do and not one manager knows or does it all. It's more of a 'learn as you go' and 'go with the flow' type of role in my experience.

As time goes on, it becomes a lot easier. In the meantime, don't pressure yourself. Nobody knows everything. Before you know it, you'll have other managers coming to you for advice. I was only 20 when I got my promotion so it was very overwhelming at first but it gets better.

My two tips are:

1. If you're not sure about something - ASK. Don't be embarrassed. Better than guessing and getting it wrong and having to answer for it later down the line.
2. If you're getting overwhelmed with tasks, start delegating to someone/people you know you can trust to complete the task. If that's not an option, speak to your manager about your workload before you end up with a massive backlog (I am guilty of this sometimes and end up having to come in on weekends to catch up).

I’ve been going through this too OP, been feeling overwhelmed by a new role much bigger than my last and with a bigger workload too. I’m doing late nights most days just to stay on top of it all.

Now there’s an issue with some of my team (that I’m technically more Junior to) and I’ve been thinking catastrophic thoughts. sigh I guess it’ll only get better as I get settled.

Oh and forgot to add. If you end up having to deal with anything HR related (sickness etc) - make sure you seek out your company/department policy and follow it to the letter. Also make sure it's the most recent version of the policy. When I was new I made the mistake of just following what a more experienced manager had advised me. It turned out they were still following an old policy that actually changed about 5 years prior meaning I dealt with the HR issue incorrectly.

Firstly, really well done on your promotion. Lots of good advice above (loving the monkeys!). Secondly, just wanted to say that this has been a difficult year, and even seasoned managers are having a tough time, given the unprecedented problems thrown up by COVID. You will get there. Stay strong.

Nothing constructive to add but good luck OP; I might be in a similar boat soon, just applying for promotion to management in the company I've been with for years. In some ways I think I'm more than capable, in others I'm terrified!

I do know how you feel. It can be totally overwhelming with all this new knowledge (and some stuff about your colleagues that you don’t want to know!) and quite lonely. It gets easier and I think it helps to know that people probably respect you and have confidence in your abilities more than you know. It also helps to try and develop a filter and lots of diplomacy to not get drawn into other people’s agenda’s and toxic in-fighting. Keeping your integrity and fairness is really important. Finally, can you befriend another manager in a different team or department so that you have someone to confide in who might also be able to give you some informal coaching? That helped me lighten what felt like a heavy burden and expectations when I first started. Actually, I think that is what kept my sanity and gave me useful perspectives. Good luck! You can make this role what it needs to be!

Thank you all.

You’re right, it is overwhelming! I can’t switch my mind off from it. I’ve also made a few silly mistakes because I was trying to do too much at once. They weren’t huge ones but I feel embarrassed. I’ve come to realise that I really need to slow down, it’s hard though when you just get so much thrown at you in a very short handover.

I’ve seen completely different sides to people I have worked with for a long time. Having to pull them up on stuff is hard. My manager who left told me it’s hard to maintain relationships with people once you become their boss and she was right, I still feel a little sad though.

It's really bloody hard but that's why you get paid more. People management is the most difficult aspect of any job

op, is it retail?

being a manager is tough,'ve tried to step back down but can't

Congratulations on your promotion. Going from being one of the team to managing the team overnight is a big change for both you and the others. It does get easier, but takes time. You need to adjust your mindset from doing the task to ensuring others have the knowledge and capabilities to do the task. You don't have to do everything yourself and delegating certain things will allow your team to gain skills to progress too. If your company offer skills or managerial training take it.