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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School Christmas Cards

53 replies

Headsshoulderskneesandtoes00 · 17/12/2020 17:48

A straightforward question really -

AIBU to be a little bit peed off that my 4 year old has been left off the Xmas card list of one or two classfriends because of a parent clique?

OP posts:
HazeyJaneII · 17/12/2020 20:03

If your kids can't write the whole lot - help them out!

PolarnOPirate · 17/12/2020 20:03

Agree it should be all or none really. DS received cards, some were written by the child and some by the kid. I definitely would finish off writing his cards if he hadn’t had the stamina, so everyone was included.

NailsNeedDoing · 17/12/2020 20:04

How do you know those children didn’t only do a few cards or no cards?

Britishmanagersclub · 17/12/2020 20:04

Sorry op, I think you're being very unrealistic. I highly doubt every child writes a card for every child. Do they all know each other's names and do all parents know all the children's names?

I think you need to brace yourself for the next few years if this is an issue for you.

Dannydevitoiloveyourart · 17/12/2020 20:10

@Britishmanagersclub

Sorry op, I think you're being very unrealistic. I highly doubt every child writes a card for every child. Do they all know each other's names and do all parents know all the children's names?

I think you need to brace yourself for the next few years if this is an issue for you.

My 4 year old did. It’s just basic manners. We got a pack of charity cards for 99p and I sat down with him and wrote the names and he signed with his own name. I made sure he knew he was sending to everyone as well.

It’s easy enough to get a names list from the class teacher.

My child only got 10 cards back - which obviously says more about the parents than the reception children.

The idea that there might be a child who has struggled to make friends in reception/year 1/ year 2 at risk of not getting any cards back is what makes me make sure my children send to everyone in their classes.

blowinahoolie · 17/12/2020 20:13

Surprised that your school is doing Christmas cards this year! Because of Covid 19. not happening at DCs school.

Just accept it will happen, names get missed out. Wait until there's really serious stuff to fret about as they get older....

Original poster
Headsshoulderskneesandtoes00 · 17/12/2020 20:28

@Britishmanagersclub

Sorry op, I think you're being very unrealistic. I highly doubt every child writes a card for every child. Do they all know each other's names and do all parents know all the children's names?

I think you need to brace yourself for the next few years if this is an issue for you.

Hi,

As children age I am totally prepared for that to happen but I'm talking about the first year at big school and they should all be treated equally really

OP posts:
Original poster
Headsshoulderskneesandtoes00 · 17/12/2020 20:29

@blowinahoolie

Surprised that your school is doing Christmas cards this year! Because of Covid 19. not happening at DCs school.

Just accept it will happen, names get missed out. Wait until there's really serious stuff to fret about as they get older....

Everything got placed in a post box and stayed there a few days before being handed out :)
OP posts:
thebabessavedme · 17/12/2020 20:33

ffs! 4 year olds and class christmas card angst, let me had you a grip!

thebabessavedme · 17/12/2020 20:34

hand

blowinahoolie · 17/12/2020 20:35

From memory, my eldest boy didn't get a card from all his classmates in P1. I think some parents just didn't do Christmas cards (possibly cost issue) or have time to sit helping write them out with their DC. It's not always personal to your child, please don't think of it like that OP.

blowinahoolie · 17/12/2020 20:37

"Everything got placed in a post box and stayed there a few days before being handed out smile"

Fair do's

NerrSnerr · 17/12/2020 20:37

How do you know those children sent cards to everyone in the class?

My 6 year old sent 3 cards to people in her class this year- she only wanted to send them to her friends and I think it's fair enough. If they're in reception they'll barely know half the class.

DonnaScozzese · 17/12/2020 20:39

I get your irritation, mummy cliques are horrible but who actually likes hundreds of shitty cards anyway.

Maybe try to get your head round your feelings over being excluded, it would be a shame to have that influence your child's feelings about needing to be included in everything.

NerrSnerr · 17/12/2020 20:40

I think we did cards for everyone in reception and we definitely didn't get cards back from everyone. Some parents have never done them, some have never attended (or even RSVPd) any parties. You'll go mad if you get worked up over this stuff

mooncakes · 17/12/2020 20:44

How do you know so much about who has sent cards?

TheYearOfSmallThings · 17/12/2020 20:45

but who actually likes hundreds of shitty cards anyway

Ah the true spirit of Christmas.

MintCassis · 17/12/2020 20:46

My class of 8 year olds struggle to remember all of their classmates names and I’m not allowed to give them a list, not even first names only. So only the people they can remember get a card and the more thoughtful ones come the next day with the people they’ve missed off. The others don’t notice if they missed someone so I doubt their parents are even aware. And not every child writes cards. I wouldn’t worry about this too much, it’s unlikely to be a deliberate exclusion of your DD only.

Spied · 17/12/2020 20:47

My DS returned home one day last January with some Christmas cards that he found under a book in his tray. Could dc have not picked them all up?
Maybe the children your dc didn't receive from didn't send any?

Britishmanagersclub · 17/12/2020 21:00

But does every parent have time to facilitate this? Many parents both work full time, multiple children, a million and one other things to do, this year even more than any year.

I don't think it's at all reasonable to expect every parent to be able to do this. Not every child has 2 parents even, or the time and money to do this.

MrsTumbletap · 17/12/2020 21:22

Dear lord some people are bothered by the tiniest things. My son brought cards home I chucked most in the bin, he isn't remotely bothered by who wrote him cards, and barely opens them.

He hated writing them last year so didn't bother wasting the trees this year. I have no idea who did or didn't send one to him.

It wouldn't even enter my head to care.

Tiquismiquis · 17/12/2020 23:45

My reception child has had about 15. I think there is a mix of all class and some where the children only wanted to do a few. Lots of cards were written by the parents completely. I don’t think you can read too much into it. Not all parents will want to write out 29 cards, not all children will want to or be able to write all of them at age 4/5. I suspect the children that do them for the whole class are the keen writers. Mine was really enthusiastic about it because she likes writing. I wouldn’t have wanted to get to 30 odd if she didn’t.

WillSantaBeComingToTown · 18/12/2020 00:22

@TeenPlusTwenties

formerbabe My child did the whole class in infants, and then selected friends in juniors. But for some children writing To Balthazar from Amelia-Jane 29 times is a massive task.
I bought mine a name stamp He hated writing age 5 and still does age 22
Witchend · 18/12/2020 00:46

So you have to do all cards or none.
There's 30 in the class.
You count the cards and find you're 2 short. You don't know all the names, your dc doesn't know who has been missed out.

The crisis of reception year...

isawthatt · 18/12/2020 01:01

DD in reception did cards for everyone in her class, we definitely didn’t receive a card from everyone. Some parents don’t do it, some only do it for closest friends. I can’t get worked up about it