Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

teacher hitting child on head with thin soft cover book

60 replies

supersonicsuperstar · 17/12/2020 16:23

Child is 9, was reading when they should not have been in the classroom, told to take the book (which has a soft cover, like a small version of tintin, say) to the shelf, child obeyed but read while wandering over there, teacher lost her shit, walked up to him, grabbed the book, wacked child over the head twice and then told him to sit down. This is not in the UK, teachers hitting children is against the law though does sometimes happen, but not at this school. I am having difficulty processing it. Otherwise a really great school, nice teacher, rarely shouts let alone hits... there has been a lot of aggression in the playground the last few days too, which is unusual.

OP posts:
babynumber2pending · 17/12/2020 18:07

I would be emailing the teacher to clarify the situation. I would also make clear that they are not to have any physical contact with my child like that again. I would also copy in the headteacher.

MrsWooster · 17/12/2020 18:09

I’d want to pursue it a bit but I’d also want to be hearing the kid’s account with a hefty pinch of salt: headache and tears after a paperback book ‘hit’ to the head? Unless the teacher used the spine to crack the book onto the skull, it can’t even have hurt.

Divebar · 17/12/2020 18:13

As for "whacked" the child wasn't hurt but they said they had a headache for a short while afterwards

I don’t believe this. They were embarrassed maybe but I don’t believe they had a headache.

SarahFrances89 · 17/12/2020 18:14

I can’t believe people think this is acceptable?! I get that teachers are human and might lost their temper but the child was not being rude or putting anyone at risk; they were READING. And any kind of physical reprimand is absolutely not ok. I’d be complaining to the head in writing and asking for a meeting with the head and the teacher to discuss. Absolutely the teacher should have to explain (or ‘give their side’) but no way would I be minimising my child’s experience, who was clearly upset by it, embellishment or not. Some of these responses really surprise me; there is no ‘side’ to this that would justify a teacher hitting a child over a head with a book, however soft the book or gentle the hit. How is that controversial?!

Original poster
supersonicsuperstar · 17/12/2020 18:15

All of these are questions I’d like to know but I’m leaning towards “ next time do as you’re told” so far I have said no it isn't ok to hit and it wasn't a great way of dealing with it, and I have comforted them, but I have also said in no uncertain terms more than once that they should definitely not have been reading at that particular time!

OP posts:
Divebar · 17/12/2020 18:17

I know I seem unsympathetic but I grew up in a time of corporal punishment in schools and having to dodge board rubbers thrown at your heads. Now none of that is correct obviously but do you really want a good teacher to be investigated over this. Is this actually what you’re angling for? Suspension pending the outcome of an investigation. Let’s assume it was a tap on the head with the book and let’s say we agree that was wrong what would you like to happen?

Lancrelady80 · 17/12/2020 18:18

I suggest some people look up the definition of "hit" in a dictionary.

Spoiler: "to bring one's hand or a tool or weapon into contact with (someone or something) quickly and forcefully."

Note quickly (perhaps, we don't know) and forcefully. From the description, doesn't sound like it would have been forceful, can't imagine any nowadays teacher losing it enough to hit. But again, we don't know as not there.

OP, you need to stop blowing this up into something you just told us it wasn't (losing her shit, whacking on head) and instead go in calmly tomorrow and ask for clarification of what happened. But you do need to go in with an open mind, not charge in ready for a fight.

Get clarification and then either a) complain to head and/or governors if appropriate or b) politely express your wish that however this actually did take place, it does not happen again. Either way, I would expect an apology from the teacher and also for your DC to be told to listen and follow teacher instructions.

Divebar · 17/12/2020 18:21

I might feel maternal outrage if it was my child so I am mindful of that disparity but as a child if I had recounted that I would have been told “ well you shouldn’t have been messing around. Don’t do it again”. Perhaps I’m too much a product of my upbringing.

Iootraw1 · 17/12/2020 18:33

Get over it. A soft little book tapped on the head?

notalwaysalondoner · 17/12/2020 18:33

Literally the same thing happened to me at school at the same age. At the time I was pretty annoyed she’d hit me, but it was definitely done gently and in a “what are you like” kind of way. It certainly wouldn’t have justified making a complaint about. I’d just keep it in proportion unless you have major other concerns about this teacher.

WorraLiberty · 17/12/2020 18:35

According to my young witness it was anger, but I am not completely certain. I asked the thing.

Who is your young witness? Another pupil?

BroadBeanSlippers · 17/12/2020 18:37

" I grew up in a time of corporal punishment in schools and having to dodge board rubbers thrown at your heads."

Very thankfully those times are long gone.

As I've said, if I or one of my colleagues tapped a child on the head with a book we would be reprimanded, and justifiably. Also, if you have to resort to this technique to control your pupils you are a piss poor teacher.

Maireas · 17/12/2020 18:37

It's not the UK, so what country?
What is the process for complaints?
Is she breaking the law there?

DivGirl · 17/12/2020 18:38

If you make the OP more realistic by replacing “lost her shit” with “expressed annoyance” and “whacked” with “tapped” then I think we’re probably closer to what happened.

I wouldn’t have an issue with it. I’m sure if she seriously “lost her shit” other pupils will have noticed and told their parents. But in the meantime maybe speak to the school and ask what happened?

showgirl63 · 17/12/2020 18:42

Not sure it helps but I had the reverse when my DS who was yr9 at the time tapped his teacher on the head whilst they were gathered around a computer with a soft book and said "dumb-dumb"!

No-one believed it was anything other than a kid not reading social rules and appropriate behaviours, but he was still suspended for one day - needed to learn physical contact never acceptably

So that being said, the teacher should be modelling good behaviour and even a playful tap is not acceptable

isadoradancing123 · 17/12/2020 18:46

Its a ver soft book cover no way did it cause a headache

1950s1 · 17/12/2020 18:53

It doesn't matter how hard or lightly the teacher did it or why they did it or what object they used to do it, they are in an authoritative position and shouldn't be hitting children, there are other ways to handle a situation like this, I would be putting in a serious complaint.

Nottherealslimshady · 17/12/2020 18:54

I would definitely talk to the teacher about it and the teacher needs to talk to the child and either explain that it wasn't meant to be mean but funny or apologise and ensure it never happens again.

SonjaMorgan · 17/12/2020 18:55

There is a lot of persuasive language and assumptions going on here.

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 17/12/2020 18:56

Talk to the teacher. Find out what happened,how and why. See what the teacher says,how she comes across and how you feel about it then.

ATM you're raging and making things up on behalf of your teary ,headachey 9 yo son. Not a good place to be, at least not until you find out more.

Skysblue · 17/12/2020 18:58

Speak to the head. Not ok. It’s illegal in the UK for a reason. Yes I know you’re not in the UK but what is the is teacher teaching the child? That when someone annoys you it’s ok to hit them? That it isn’t abuse if you don’t do it hard?

Appalling breach of trust, how is the child supposed to respect that teacher?

CeeceeBloomingdale · 17/12/2020 19:02

I would assume my little darling was repeatedly misbehaving, not listening or something else they shouldn't have been doing and were lying to cover their sweet little behind. I certainly wouldn't be demanding a meeting with the teacher nor a brain scan.

Bookworming · 17/12/2020 19:11

child obeyed but read while wandering over there,

These were not your child's words, or what happened!

He defied the teacher continued sloooooowy walking across the room, still reading when told to stop!

And basically he was sticking two fingers up to the teacher.

tinselfest · 17/12/2020 19:22

Tell your child to do as they are told next time.

LadyFelsham · 17/12/2020 19:27

If your child had a headache hours after the incident and was so traumatised that he had tears in his eyes when recalling the incident, then it is assault.

Take him for a brain scan and then call the police.