To think that there is just something wrong with my personality?

[Bytheseaside2016]

All my life I’ve felt that something is wrong with my personality. As a teenager I really struggled with social situations, and at university it was a nightmare. I seemed to be constantly saying the wrong thing and annoying people. I’ve got a bit better at knowing what not to say as I’ve got older but I can tell people find me weird. I remember reading a thread a while ago about being a ‘meh’ friend and I thought yep, that’s me.
I feel so self conscious all the time. I’m good at my job but my career has stalled as interviews are a nightmare, I just can’t seem to get them right. My Dh gets frustrated with me because I’m miserable a lot of the time with nothing to be miserable about. I watched a video the other day of me helping dc open a birthday present and I just looked so false and fake.
So basically do some people just have rubbish personalities? How can you improve it? I

Have you considered that you might be autistic? Autistic women are often undiagnosed by masking social behaviours. However, they still struggle to fit in with social communication and miss queues for unwritten social rules.

musingsofanaspie.com/aspergers-and-motherhood/

I could write this post myself. You cannot change who you are! Just be yourself as long as you aren’t upsetting anyone don’t change! As the post above I do believe I could be on the spectrum (my children are which make me believe it could be genetic).

You sound like me. Exactly the same as me. I’m autistic.

You sound like me, OP, although I'm cheery enough. However, I have really had to study other people and 'learn' how to respond and engage in certain situations. I do feel like I act as myself quite a lot of the time, especially at work.

I don't think there is necessarily anything wrong in that - it's just the way I'm built unfortunately. As I've aged, I've given less of a crap about what people think of me and chilled out a bit. I'm generally less anxious about life now. People like us may or may not be somewhere on a spectrum - if you feel like it affects your moods or capacity to be happy though, maybe you should speak with a GP to find some strategies that work for you.

Ultimately though, I think everyone thinks they are a bit weird sometimes. Good luck from one weird person to another!!

I’ve got a bit better at knowing what not to say as I’ve got older but I can tell people find me weird. That's the first step. Now treat it as a lack of knowledge or skill. Reading novels, watching soap operas, AIBU - anywhere you can see people interacting and see the result of what people say and how they say it - this is all useful in learning the "between the lines" of social interaction. Try to keep your mind off incidents in the past - going over them is the best way to remember them (rather like repeating a poem until you've learnt it by heart) and remembering won't help your self-esteem. Finally, remember social skills are skills - you're not morally inferior if you're finding it a bit harder to learn them.

And stop thinking of it as a "rubbish personality". If you were really struggling in teenage years, then it's likely that as a result you didn't get as much chance at social situations as some of your more skilled peers, and it's a vicious circle. The more difficulty you find, the less you are allowed to practise, so the wider the gap becomes.

You sound very anxious and lacking in self confidence, but not a horrible person or with anything wrong with you. Has anyone ever said to you you were 'saying the wrong thing' or that you annoyed them? Those are easy things to project onto others when you are anxious - most people barely think about others, TBH, or bother to find them annoying or analysing things they say for being 'wrong' and it's a mindset you can definitely get some help with moving past, which is what I'd recommend you do.

I'm also going to say neurodivergent in some way. My OH has ADHD and I have autism, and we both have felt that way.