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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to say something...

9 replies

heydoggee · 17/12/2020 11:44

DF messaged me this morning to say he will be spending Xmas day alone. He can't come to me or my sibling as we are tier 3, far away, and he is high risk.

He has a live in partner but they will be meeting up with four other households in one house for their usual family Xmas day. Yes I know the limit is three. They are having five.

DF is going to drop his partner off and go back to his house and spend the day alone.

I feel it is incredibly selfish of his partner to risk him by mixing in such a way. They could easily bring Covid back to him, I feel very disappointed that they don't want to stay with him and keep him safe.

I hold my tongue every year over Xmas arrangements but this year I just feel so sad for him, nobody is putting him first.

AIBU to actually tell him that I'm annoyed and upset for him.

OP posts:
heydoggee · 17/12/2020 11:47

To add, so I don't drip feed. There will be people aged 5-75 there, teens, young adults. So the risk is high.

OP posts:
Smallsteps88 · 17/12/2020 11:49

It’s your fathers business. You aren’t his parent and he isn’t a child.

Redwinestillfine · 17/12/2020 11:49

I would ask if he's ok with that and say that you hope the live in partner stays safe and is able to isolate after Christmas to keep him safe.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 17/12/2020 11:50

Would it change the situation if you told him? Would it make him feel better?

I wouldn't say anything. It will just upset him.

heydoggee · 17/12/2020 11:50

They won't isolate @Redwinestillfine - he's going to pick them up in the evening

OP posts:
heydoggee · 17/12/2020 11:51

Yes @DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult I know you're right. Hence sounding off here instead I guess.

I'm just so sad for him.

OP posts:
Fuckertyfuckmcfuck · 17/12/2020 11:54

It is incredibly selfish I agree.

IMNOTSHOUTING · 17/12/2020 11:54

I think you're right to be pissed off but I'm nt sure it would acheive anything to say anything. I have similar issues with my step Mil. Happy to take risks when it comes to seeing her family but not when fil wants to see his. It pisses me off but FiL is a grown up and if he chooses to have an easy life by not challenging it my intervention wouldn't be welcome.

heydoggee · 17/12/2020 11:55

@IMNOTSHOUTING

I think you're right to be pissed off but I'm nt sure it would acheive anything to say anything. I have similar issues with my step Mil. Happy to take risks when it comes to seeing her family but not when fil wants to see his. It pisses me off but FiL is a grown up and if he chooses to have an easy life by not challenging it my intervention wouldn't be welcome.
Similar case here, he would never stand up for himself
OP posts:
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