To ask your experience of getting a dog?

[DefrostingBuble]

I have wanted a dog for years and finally my DP was in agreement this year so after much research I went on a waiting list for a puppy.

Everyone I know, knows how much I have wanted one for years. I have three children - two are not bothered one way or the other and the youngest is as bad as me with wanting a dog!

The breeder has contacted me (there’s been regular updates, it wasn’t out of the blue), to say someone has dropped off the list so there is a puppy available from February and I can visit next week if I would like.

Now I am this close, I am getting really anxious that what if it’s the wrong thing to do. I am an over thinker with anxiety issues anyway.

I just wanted to hear your experiences of bringing a puppy into your family - good or bad! Was it as you expected? Harder/Easier? Better/Worse?

I know only I can make the decision but would just love to hear your stories.

I don't have a dog at the moment but I have observed others getting a puppy/dog and from what I can gather, it seems like harder work than they want to admit. There are two camps though, the ones who have always had dogs or been brought up with them and have a get go attitude to getting on with it (the dogs of these owners are usually trained well) and the ones who have never had a dog, see it as the next thing on the tick list of societal conform or a substitute companion for something missing in their lives (these dogs are humanised by owners and are badly trained).

First there is the build up to getting the puppy and they don't have dominate conversations about it. They seem to be looking for approval of their life choice. I always find that odd. Like they know it's going to be the wrong thing to do but are looking for ways to justify it.

Then they get the puppy and the conversation continues to be dominated by puppy talk and how it's like having a baby all over again. All the things that we once did as friends are now limited because of the puppy. They look on wistfully as the rest of us get on with life where they now feel left out because the dog has to be accounted for.
Often they will still try to get justification for their choice by persuading you to get a dog because 'they are so much fun' despite spending the last hour constantly talking about how hard work it is. I smile at this point and say no because I don't have space in my busy life for one right now. Check mate!

So from my point of view, the life you will have with your dog will be a reflection of how you are in life anyway. They say owners and dogs are alike and there is something in that. Not in appearance but in temperament. All the skitzy dogs I know have skitzy owners. All the calm, pleasant, joy to be around dogs have similar calm, pleasant, capable owners.

Sorry if this offends but it's just been my observations over the last couple of decades and thought I'd fling in my tuppence worth as a dog lover but not a dog owner.

I had the fear before getting my puppy, my first dog, but honestly, for every bad thing there is about having one, there is so much good. There was a LOT of learning, for both of us.
What breed are you being offered?

Massively depends on the breed.

Some breeds will generally be easier to train and will slot in better with family life. Also, take into account how often the dog may be left alone, especially at a young age. Some dogs really can’t tolerate being left alone for too long and will chew/howl etc.

If you carefully choose the right breed for your family and take the time to train/play/keep their mind active, you shouldn’t go too far wrong.

We had two Collies who were the absolute love of my life. They sadly passed away recently and I am devastated. I had no idea how attached I would get to them when we got them and for this reason would never get another dog again.

They bought so much pleasure into my life, lots of laughs and lots of mushy love but also they were a lot of work. I do think that to look after a dog properly you do need to put them first. Going out for extended periods were a no no. It seemed that we were always rushing back to the dogs. Holidays without the dogs didn't happen because we had nobody to look after them.

The extra cleaning was a big factor, I was always hoovering and washing throws. My heart used to sink when the weather was wet and it was muddy. Washing doggy feet and under carriages with a washing up bowl of warm water three times a day is not fun!

Dog walking is a ball ache when it is raining or cold or dark or all three!

Pet insurance was eye wateringly expensive as were vet bills. This only gets worse as the dog ages. Our boy for the last year of his life cost us a fortune in various medications. Our other dog needed special dog food that was unbelievably costly. Even things like flea treatments aren't cheap.

I know I am making it sound like I hated every moment, I didn't, they bought so much joy and love. It is just something to really think about. In my experience it was harder than I imagined, a real commitment.

In one word amazing. We've had our lab from 8 weeks old he turns 8 soon. He came into our lives at a particular difficult moment for our oldest son and turned everything upside down the most wonderful way.

But it is like having a baby again, I made sure I had all the time for him when he was a pup and really invested time and effort in training. He was a mini crocodile for that first month, I have scars on my behind from him still !! We are very lucky that for lab he has never been a chewer so the house and furniture remained intact. We then had the teenage years and selective deafness with the shenanigans that it brought, so he went back to long line, ham and chicken in my pocket and epic recall work. But consistency prevailed.
He is almost 8 now, middle age boy loves a good cuddle ( currently warming my feet as I type) recall is spot on, he used to come running with me. He is a lover of food and water !!! Typical lab but he is soft, kind and very gentle with the kids( they're all much older now so he's grown with them) always has been. He has never growled or shown any aggression to anything, but I have never put him in a position where he has felt he needs to do that. He is a huge part of our family, he comes pretty much everywhere with us, been to many European countries, and loves the beach ! He comes into work with me often, sometimes with my DH.
Because of him we have met a great group of people over the years from simply walking and chatting with other dog owners, some have become great friends. This has lead to a network of dog sitters, we look after each others dogs for holidays etc.

Now for the sad part, our darling dog was diagnosed with cancer last month, very aggressive and too far gone for any successful treatment.Took us completely by surprise as he has been a picture of health for years. We're currently spoiling him rotten and keeping him comfortable , our hearts are absolutely broken, I will miss him incredibly.

They have a lasting impact on your life for however long that maybe. A dog is indeed for a life and they will steal your heart !!

So overall I can say our experience has been wonderful.

Good luck with making a decision.

We just got another puppy after 7 years since the last one. He's a very good boy but even so it's been hard work the past 3 weeks. When he's awake, he's into everything, liable to chew the furniture and wee on the carpet even if he's just been out and done one.

I'd really recommend a crate to put him in, like babies they can get themselves so over excited they need removing from all stimulation and putting in a cot for a nap. Also if you need to go out, you know they and the house are safe as they can be. Almost certainly there will be an OMG what have I done period once he's home, but you will come through it. Puppy teeth are like pins by the way. Lots and lots of toys needed.

I love my dog so much, but he was hard work as a puppy and I was at my wits end on and off for the first 18 months. He was so much more difficult than having a newborn.

He's 9 now and I love him and would never change him, but I selfishly and secretly resent how tied down I am sometimes. Can't go for long days out without making sure we are only gone 6 hours max or arranging (and paying for) a Dogsitter, not being able to go on holidays whenever I want or travel at short notice because I need to arrange kennels/someone to stay with him.

@Woollyslippers Sounds like you have a massive chip on your shoulder. Maybe your friends talk about their dog because they love them and find it interesting, the same as people talk about their children a lot. Also I hate the way people are looked down on for being first-time dog owners. There's a first time for everything, there has to be.

OP read the puppy survival threads on The Doghouse. I wish I had read them before we got our puppy. It was hard, really really hard for about 4 weeks. Now it's getting easier and I enjoy her company. Just make sure everyone in the household is on board with it because it affects everyone.

I love my dog but puppies although cute are also hard work
Also dogs are a lOng term commitment you can't just have a day out at a theme park say without considering who will have the dog
Wouldn't be without mine but he will be our last one

We got a rescue this year, that was already quite old in years. I love him to bits, but would never have another, as having a dog, and all that involves, is too much of a tie. Will love and care for him until he eventually passes away, but won’t be taking on any others.
Will definitely cherish the experience though (and this year especially has had a lower impact on our lifestyle because of Covid, which hit us 6 weeks into owning him).

I love my two dearly and would never give them up, but they're not without their downsides.

Walkies: daily, even in the cold, rain, mud, you name it. The car is always filthy (I deal with it by having a boot liner, blankets and towels in the boot to soak up the worst of the mud & wet after a walkie as we like countryside walks so tend to drive places for a good off-leash run). One of the dogs like to roll in fox poo, which he will NEVER be trained out of, so sometimes there's the added delight of a very stinky ride home plus bathing the dog afterwards then cleaning bath and bathroom after that (dog hair goes EVERYWHERE during his baths).

One gets an upset tummy a lot (just seems to be prone to it) which involves vet bills of £100+ for meds each time plus poo all over the floor overnight or multiple times getting up in the middle of the night to let him out. Usually happens every couple of months.

The other had an unexpected medical issue this year which cost several thousand to resolve plus multiple days off work for trips to a specialist vet hospital (and that was without the operation the vets thought he'd have to have to resolve the issue).

Plus days out need to be planned a little more carefully, eg where you can take a dog, try to go when it won't be too busy as that can be stressful juggling dogs and family members, can't leave them at home for more than 4 hours at a stretch really.

I got my two as grown rescue dogs as I specifically did not want a puppy - training a puppy sounds like a lot of hassle and very time consuming, plus I knew I would not love a dog I purchased vs one I rescued any differently so I went for rescues.

Oh, also one of mine sheds a LOT so everything is permanently covered in dog hair no matter how much I vacuum, lint roller everything, rubber brush the carpets etc.

Despite all that I would not give them up :) love them too much! Be aware playing and cuddling a cute puppy is like 10% of what having a puppy actually entails. It's a big responsibility, time consuming and can be very expensive. I grew up with multiple animals at home so was used to the commitments and potential costs, and knew it was something I was prepared to do because to me it was worth it.

I am also lucky that I work from home and have done for some years, so I have no pet care or dog walker costs as I'm always home with them. They're also not destructive in the house which is a huge plus! And despite the dog hair and battle to keep the house smelling fresh by airing it, washing dog beds & blankets constantly etc, cleaning up the dog hair so I am not a walking hairball myself, they are very worth having around and I feel like they enrich my life a lot.

We've had our border collie since she was 9 weeks. Shes nearly 2 now.

I love her to bits, and couldn't be without her now, but she's hard work. Was her breed are working dogs, she has boundless energy, and needs LOTS of exercise otherwise staff will drive you bonkers wanting to play. Fortunately my husband's retired so he can take her out for a long walk in the mornings, then I take her out in the evenings.

Training is HARD and you do need to get it in as a puppy. I will admit as a puppy we weren't great at saying no to titbits at mealtimes. She doesn't steal food, but does tend to beg (read-give cute puppy dog eyes which are hard to resist.)

Walking in the cold and dark is HARD but needs must.

Your house needs to be puppy proofed in the same way you would with a toddler. Everything in reach could end up eaten or destroyed or both. Don't underestimate how far they can reach. They can easily get their paws up on worktop if theirs a tasty treat up there.

But I love that girl so much. When I come home from a hard day at work and see a waggy tail through the stained and frosted glass on my front door, I'm happy again. She makes me smile and laugh every day.

Sorry for typos.

I wouldn’t get a puppy unless the whole household was equally enthusiastic.
If your DH took a lot of persuading, there is the potential for a lot of discord and additional stress when the puppy is waking you in the night, chews his leather shoe, shits in the kitchen overnight so it is the first thing to greet him when he staggers downstairs, nips everyone.
As everyone says, you lose spontaneity and need a dog sitter or kennel not just for holidays, but to attend that wedding/graduation/ anything out of the house and not dog friendly for more than 4 or 5 hours.
They cost a lot of money if you care for them properly.
I adore dogs but now have a DH who doesn’t so I can’t have another. If you DH really is willing to have one, I’d hang out on the Facebook group pages of your favoured breed and look out for adults needing a new home or being passed on by show breeders. My last lovely girl cane this way at 2 years old and was just the sweetest, easiest dog.

Dog lover here, we have three. Personally though I would never get a puppy again, they are an absolute nightmare especially if you have other priorities too (kids, jobs, other animals). I would choose a rescue dog each and every time.
Puppies are hard work and need lots of time and attention. Remember training isn't always easy and that includes toilet training.

We've got 2 dogs that we've had from puppies, and I'd get another in a heartbeat! So much easier than kids! If you can afford it, definitely invest in some proper puppy classes as we've found both of ours can be quite anti social with other dogs and honestly think that's because they never had the socialising as puppies. When I say anti social, I don't mean aggressive, but they just never learnt how to behave with other dogs and get over excited and boisterous which other dogs don't tend to reciprocate well.

I'll give you a completely honest account of my experience having a puppy (who is now 2!).

First things first, the puppy stage was HARD at first. Honestly for the first few weeks it was like having a baby (well they are babies!).

He would cry at night, I'd have to get up multiple times at all hours to let him out or I'd be clearing up a mountain of mess every morning, there will likely still be accidents until he's 100% house trained, we had a cream carpet at the time and well.... Yeah.

BUT he was super cute, funny, playful and inquisitive and I loved watching him learning things.

One thing I would suggest starting early is leaving him for short periods alone. Even if you are planning on WFH and never being out of the house or whatever. It's best to get him used to you leaving him early to avoid separation anxiety because it can be really hindering if it's not dealt with. Go out of the house for 5 minutes, come back, go for 10 minutes next time and so on.

Then comes the biting stage, it can hurt! Be careful with your ankles (and things that can be chewed around the house). Fortunately ours was never a huge chewer of things like wires or furniture but we do still have a few naw marks in our coffee table! Things like frozen carrots will be your friend for this part. They need chews to help with the pain and distract them from chewing on you! You may end up with some tears from your kids too during this stage because puppy teething can hurt! They are like little needles and kids and puppies don't understand! You'll need to be dedicated to training if he does start to nip so you can shut this down quickly.

In fact training is a huge part of it and it's best to start early. I'd recommend joining some groups on FB for the breed you're getting, and also general dog training advice groups. They have been a godsend at times when I've needed quick bits of advice about specific things. Having a well behaved, trained dog is SO much easier, it really is worth investing the time in training him.

Add to this all of the normal 'dog' needs, so walking, someone who's not out of the house 12 hours a day, restrictions on going away on holidays etc...

Yeah, it can be hard.

But I'll finish by saying I absolutely LOVE my boy to pieces. He has enriched our family and home, he really has. We wouldn't be without him and he just is one of the family. I wouldn't change any of it and he's getting easier and calmer as he's getting older ☺️

So don't underestimate puppies. But don't write off the dog they become when it gets a bit hard at the start. It was so worth it in our case!

Oh and PUPPY PROOF the kitchen! (And house in general really).

Ours actually managed to get up onto our kitchen counters and steal food from the shelves above whilst we were out, he's even gotten into cupboards to snaffle the cats food before!

It's a worry because there are some foods that are toxic so we had to start putting everything away! No food on shelves or on the kitchen sides allowed if we were going anywhere!

Having my first pup was worse than my newborn babies. Absolute misery for the first month.

2nd pup was ok but only because he had the first dog to chew on and learn manners.

The first is nearly 12 and second is 10 and I won't be replacing them when they pass, at least not for a few years.

Kids are 9&6 and have so much going on it's harder to fit a dog around them, and I want a Leonberger but live in the Caribbean so not the climate for one.

So next dog will be whenever we move countries! I might foster dogs in the meantime but nothing permanent for a while.

@ashmts no chips here but you’re entitled to your opinion just as much as I am. The OP asked a question, I am merely giving my answer which reflects my opinion based on my experience. It is also my opinion that it’s good to get advice from all angles before making a very important decision rather than shout into an echo chamber to get the answer you want.

But yes I don’t want to hear about every aspect of dog ownership because it’s boring, just as anyone who dominates a conversation with just one subject is boring whether that be dogs, cats, cycling, work, kids. I don’t mind folk talking about their dogs but I don’t want every conversation to be about the dog because it’s boring and rude. In my opinion.

It's a nightmare that I regret every day. My husband and eldest wanted a dog, I wasn't fussed. I've never had one before, and I really do not like living one. Life is so much better without one, you can't be spontaneous, and there are things the children, who are my priority, want to do that we can't because we have a dog. Holidays are more expensive because you need a kennels or sitter. I just don't see the point, but there will be others who love their animals.

A couple of weeks of hell.
12 months of hard work.
13 years of joy.
6 months and counting missing him desperately since he passed away.

It’s not as simple as ‘adopt, don’t get a puppy’. Dogs are all different and I’m not talking about the difference between breeds, they all have their own personalities. So rescue vs puppy each brings its own challenges and dogs with their own temperaments.

Our first dog was a joy as a puppy. She picked up toilet training quite quickly, settled in the house quite quickly, wasn’t a massive chewer. My handbag got a few tiny teeth marks and she learnt quickly to be gentle with her mouth. Her adolescent stage was really hard work. She was very headstrong. At puppy school she started as one of the best but slipped to be the worst in her adolescence. W worked hard with her training and stuck with it during this phase, then overnight it was like she woke up and decided to be the best dog ever. All that teenage angst gone and she’s an absolute dream. People will comment on how well behaved she is and she’s a favourite for everyone we know.

We recently got a puppy, he’s 17 weeks. He’s much quicker to learn things than the older one (and she was quick to learn). He’s had a handful of accidents and all of those have been our fault. He’s bites though. We have a lot of toys and chews because of the older one but especially now he’s teething it’s costing us a fortune to keep him and his teeth busy in productive ways. He’s also more mischievous than the other one was. He is into everything. Despite being quicker to learn, he’s a much harder puppy than the older one. I’m hoping that means we have an easier adolescence but I’m not too optimistic.

A puppy could easily slot into your life, or it could be a demon disguised as a cute, cuddly puppy. If it’s a demon, it does get easier. You won’t be the first puppy owner to wonder they’ve done. Be consistent with training and just keep at it. Sometimes, they regress a bit so you just go back to basics.

We now have 2 dogs, an 8 year old rescue dog and a 9 month old puppy.

The reason we got a puppy was because we thought our older dog would accept a puppy easier then an older dog. She accepted the puppy really easily and in hindsight probably would have accepted an older dog too.

Puppies are really hard work. Ours did seem to learn much quicker than we expected, but we think that was mainly down to having another dog to learn from. The dogs played together and the puppy would nip at the older dog (she would soon tell him off if he overstepped the mark), when we collected the puppy he was the first to leave the litter, so he left him mum and siblings and came straight to us, our older dog took on the mothering role so the transition was easier. Having said that it was still hard work for the first few weeks.

Puppies can be really annoying at times, so the whole family need to be on board.

I don’t get the hard work thing. Just train them. It should become second nature.

I agree with this. I think a lot of new puppy owners make a rod for their own back and try to control the situation rather than just going with the flow a bit more. It's like any relationship, you have to take the time to get to know each other.