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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think some people deal with lack of sleep better than others?

93 replies

FortunesFave · 17/12/2020 08:06

I'm just TERRIBLE at it! If I'm woken in the middle of the night or if I get much less than 7 hours sleep, I can barely function.

I hear people say things like "Oh I slept terribly...only got about 4 hours" and yet they seem quite alert and capable.

I'm clumsy, grumpy and feel very unwell with lack of sleep.

Or are those other people being brave? DH started a new job today and he woke me up at 5.30 am...he suffers from anxiety so I don't resent him for it...he'd never do it usually but he badly needed company so I got up and spent half an hour with him to boost him up.

Well I didn't go to bed till gone midnight so all day I've been useless! We're in Australia by the way...it's 6.30pm now and all I can think of is bed!

I never have trouble falling asleep....I just can't cope with lack of it!
AIBU to say some people cope better than others?

OP posts:
alltheworldsastage4 · 17/12/2020 13:33

You do sound a bit unusual. If I get less than 5 I feel quite ill but a few coffees help a lot. I feel like maybe you are more 'sensitive' than some, I'm not saying you need to grin and bear it but also I kind of am saying that. Lack of sleep on occasion won't kill you - often what feels the worst is our anxiety about how little sleep you have had. Once you accept you are tired and try not to worry about it's ill effects, you don't feel nearly as bad

alltheworldsastage4 · 17/12/2020 13:35

But I can see that others feel more like you so I guess it's normal!! I remember when I was getting three broken hours of sleep a night for six months because my DP snores badly (i've moved rooms since) and I was an emotional mess, nearly lost my job and everything.

But the odd night isn't a big deal for me. I do feel for those who really suffer even after one bad night!!

Funkyslippers · 17/12/2020 13:39

I'm ok if I get around 6 hours as long as I don't wake really early and can't get back to sleep. For instance, I slept from 11pm till 7.45am last night, was awake for a couple of hours but I feel ok. Will be knackered later though. I do find a run in the morning wakes me up and refreshes me

DemolitionBarbie · 17/12/2020 13:41

Your body adjusts. I could sleep for England but since DC I average 5 1/2 hours a night and get woken every day around 5.30, sometimes more like 4.50, never late than 6.

The only way I could get 8 hours now is to be asleep by 9. I want an evening so I put up with the sleep deprivation.

It's like moving to a country with different weather, your body adjusts even if it never seems exactly normal.

Rosebel · 17/12/2020 13:44

I can do it but not for long. Our six month old wet through a really bad sleeping stage a few weeks ago. After 4 days of getting 3 hours a night I phoned my husband in tears and said he had to come home so I could sleep.
I do get grumpy and short tempered by about 6 I clock if I've had a bad night.

ScalpHelp · 17/12/2020 13:49

I’m 23 and can cope with a late night. It’s actually a bad habit that I must work on.

During university, I worked full time whilst at studying full time...whilst maintaining a hectic social life. My daily schedule would be to spend the morning at uni, afternoon/evening at work and then meet my friends out, getting in at say 3am then sleeping until 7am! Most of the time I would just pull an all nighter.

I could handle it with ease then. At this age I sometimes fall asleep on trains and briefly doze off at work after lunchConfused

MissMaple82 · 17/12/2020 13:50

Im pretty much the same. I need my sleep to function. Everybody is different nobody can say its an over reaction.

cheezy · 17/12/2020 13:53

I’m the same OP. My mood tanks and I get so irritable. It honestly makes me question whether I should have babies or not because I’m not sure I would cope.

AndcalloffChristmas · 17/12/2020 13:55

I don’t really cope well with lack of sleep at all. I do have some sleep issues so I think that general build up is partly why I don’t hope well with one bad night.

I am grumpy and unable to concentrate with insufficient sleep too. I’m ok with 7 hours or more but really could do with regular doses of 9 or more.

Some people do seem to cope fine! Not sure what the reason is though.

Nowaynothappening · 17/12/2020 13:58

I can cope with the odd night of shit sleep but if it’s a few nights in a row then there’s major issues. I get super grumpy and irrational, it also makes me anxious and puts me on edge. I have 5 DC but thankfully aside from a few bad spells due to teething or illness, they’re all pretty decent sleepers. I don’t think I’d cope well with constant poor sleep.

Lalliella · 17/12/2020 23:48

Definitely! I don’t sleep well (menopause) but I never feel tired during the day. It’s just like I don’t need as much sleep now. Oh no, I’ve turned into Margaret Thatcher! But actually I see it is a good thing - I have more time to do stuff. I go cycling at the weekend when everyone else is in bed.

Diverseduvet · 17/12/2020 23:56

I always think people fit into categories. Those that can't cope with lack of sleep, those that can't cope with being cold and those that can't cope with being hungry.

WhatKatyDidNxt · 18/12/2020 00:17

You just adapt and toughen up basically. Thanks to shift work and issues with my mental health l had a good year or so of about 4 hours sleep most nights. I felt shitty a lot of the time but still worked full time, went to the gym, socialised etc

CaptainMyCaptain · 18/12/2020 08:36

@WhatKatyDidNxt

You just adapt and toughen up basically. Thanks to shift work and issues with my mental health l had a good year or so of about 4 hours sleep most nights. I felt shitty a lot of the time but still worked full time, went to the gym, socialised etc
You can say that now but it gets harder as you get older. I remember being permanently tired with a baby but I coped. I wouldn't cope now.
CaptainMyCaptain · 18/12/2020 08:53

To be clear, I was also working full time with said baby, breastfeeding in the night and getting up at 6.30 every morning.

Dollywilde · 18/12/2020 09:02

I agree with @thepeopleversuswork. I used to be a ‘I can’t cope on less than 8 hours’ person. Currently typing this mid 4 month regression with DD - I got four one hour sleeps last night. I’m bit zombified but we’ll have a normal day - I’m showered and dressed and ready to go out once she finishes her nap (she only naps on me so sadly no ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ here!)

Don’t get me wrong, more sleep is amazing but you do what you got to, don’t you. Humans adapt.

Dollywilde · 18/12/2020 09:04

@Diverseduvet I’ve always said that when picking a life partner you need to pick someone who has the opposite on the sleep/hunger/cold thing. My thing is cold, I’m a grumpy whiney nightmare when I’m cold. DH is hungry, he’s useless when hungry. Means so long as we either have food or heating to hand the other one can carry the can for both of us Grin

museumum · 18/12/2020 09:06

You just adapt and toughen up basically.

Well... in my experience yes I survived but I was a shadow of my previous self. I lost my zest fir life, my generally happy disposition, my confidence and my resilience.

Getting sleep back recovered those. It’s possible to survive with less sleep but you might not be the person you want to be or whom your family enjoy you being.

mushycarrots21 · 18/12/2020 09:06

I am terrible! When my kids were little I couldn’t function and was extremely irritable. I hate having my sleep interrupted and didn’t get used to it after 6 years of it. It was hell on earth!

BertieBotts · 18/12/2020 09:08

YANBU, I don't find lack of sleep is an issue at all. I like sleep, love a nap, but can function on very little.

Dollywilde · 18/12/2020 09:10

I guess it depends what you mean by ‘can’t cope’? Like I say I can ‘cope’ in that I’m still able to get up, keep on top of the house, play with the baby, go on walks etc. But if you’re using ‘cope’ to mean ‘be as happy as i would be if I’d had 8 uninterrupted’ hours then no, I’m definitely not coping! Semantics...

dontdisturbmenow · 18/12/2020 09:10

Because it's much more about quality of sleep then quantity. If you fall asleep and get into deep sleep right for 2h and then dream for another 2h, you're liny to wake up feeling quite refreshed after 5 hours.

If you spend 9 hours in bed, with 7 of these hours awake or in light sleep you'll wake up feeling like on death's door.

Thehop · 18/12/2020 09:11

I used to be able to manage on odd nights of 3/4 hours. Still can at a push but I take Thursday nights to refuel. Husband has dinner ready when I get hime, I shower and go straight to bed so am asleep by 6:45. I get a full 12 hours and he sorts everything for the kids and keeps them quiet. He does a morning at the weekend too so I can sleep in. I seem to be doing okay with dd sleepless nights by topping up like this. I think I’ll keep it even when she starts sleeping, I’m in the habit of a big refuel now!

dontdisturbmenow · 18/12/2020 09:14

but I have ADHD and switching my brain off at night is just so difficult, even with meds
Out of curiosity, can I ask which meds these were? It's the switching of the brain that is the issue for me, overactivity caused by the menopause. I tried some meds normally given to kids with ADHD, which is a relaxant, also used for hit flushes but it although it made me drowsy, it didn't help with the quality of sleep.

nosswith · 18/12/2020 09:15

I struggle when it happens. I do a number of things to reduce the possibility. Spend a lot on a mattress, regular sleep times (Iplayer means no staying later to watch a tv programme), don't drink coffee any more, to name three.