Aibu to be annoyed with the school?

[avond]

My DS is 15. His dad passed away when he was 12 but when he started getting ill he gave son his chain and it's got a dog tag on. Since DS was about 13 he's worn it and he wears it to school (they're fine with it as long as it's under his shirt and he takes it off for pe). Son is fine with this and he always gives it to his form tutor when he has pe. Last Friday his form tutor wasn't in and he didn't want to give it to another teacher so he refused to take it off. He was told he had to or he'd be sent to isolation. DS did in the end but he put it in his bag. anyway when DS went to get changed the chain wasn't in his bag and at first he thought someone was messing around but they wasn't. DS told the pe teacher but they told him he shouldn't have taken it to school.

In his next lesson he told the teacher but the teacher told him to just sit down (he was late as he was talking to the pe teacher) and then one of sons friends told the teacher DS was crying and the teacher said ' just ignore him, he's only crying about the stupid chain'.

When DS got home he was extremely upset and I called the school but they told me to ring on Monday so I did but they said they can't help me as he shouldn't have had it at school and it's his responsibility. DS is still upset and tomorrow is his last day before Christmas so it looks like he's going to be upset over Christmas and this time of year is already hard enough for him

Aibu to be annoyed? Most of the teachers know about it being his dads.

I can’t get over the responses here. Ok so he shouldn’t take it into school but someone stole it.

Call the police op just because it happened at school doesn’t change the law someone stole something that’s illegal.

However horrible this is for your ds, you need to encourage him to take responsibility for his part in this too and not just blame the teachers. Your son chose to ignore the rule that had been extended for him just because he didn’t like the teacher. He doesn’t get to make that choice and then expect someone else to take responsibility for it, especially at his age. You and he both knew there was a risk in him wearing it to school and you chose to take it. Neither of you have the right to expect the school go out of their way to sort this, the responsibility is yours.

The school don’t know that it was stolen, that’s just what a 15 year old who has chosen not to give it to his teacher for safekeeping has told them. For all anyone knows, he lost it.

Read the update
He does know who has it, have they finished now for Xmas op?
If so you will need to deal with it unfortunately, get DS to tell the boy in his year either it’s back by end of tomorrow or the Police will be involved. Unfortunately they might dispose of the evidence now

@Hoppinggreen

Read the update He does know who has it, have they finished now for Xmas op? If so you will need to deal with it unfortunately, get DS to tell the boy in his year either it’s back by end of tomorrow or the Police will be involved. Unfortunately they might dispose of the evidence now

He thinks he knows who has it, he hasn’t seen it properly yet, he really doesn’t know. He shouldn’t be going up to younger children and demanding they show him things, especially when there’s still a chance that it didn’t belong to your ds.

You need help from the school to solve this, which at this time of year and after the rules were already rearranged and then ignored, is a big ask. You both need to admit your son was wrong, apologise and ask nicely for help. Or call the police and see if they will help.

DS doesn't know what the boys name is who has it as he's in a lower year. Yes, he's finished for Christmas now. He said he knows it's his chain that the boy has

That's appalling I'd contact someone higher up in the school. Head and or governors.

One thing my school is really good at is sending everyone emails saying billy has lost his phone, Jill has lost a necklace please look out for it and pass it to xxx if found. Has he checked with reception. A cleaner might have come across it.

Phone the police, they will be able to find the boy and get it back.

If that's the case I would be creating merry hell on the Facebook group. I cannot stand thieves. It's despicable and the fact the boy won't let him see says to me he's a thieving little toe rag.
I would definitely tell police, despite school being closed they can view Bus CCTV and can still ask the school to allow D's access the school record book with photos with the police there.

The school probably keep pictures of all the students on file. If your son doesn't know his name, he will probably be able to identify him from the picture. Either demand for you and your son to be allowed to look through the file and find it, or involve the police and they might demand access to it.

Trust me if he's thieving in year 8, I bet his parents won't want the police at their door. Make it clear on Facebook it's returned to you no questions asked at your home or the police will be called and you will demand exclusions.

Are the dog tags engraved, is it identifiable?

He’s finished for Christmas now or tomorrow is his last day? You’ve said both, but which it is makes a difference to whether the school are even capable of doing anything or not.

Thanks for your replies

Yes the dog tag is identifiable. He finished today. I will call the police and hopefully they can help

A grieving 15 year old is not to blame for a younger child stealing from him. Perhaps he could have done things differently, but the thief is the one to blame and they should have investigated as a minimum. The school sounds extremely ineffective and uncaring. They could have investigated this rather than washing their hands of it and the teacher should have been much more understanding of your ds. I would be calling the police and local newspaper about this (I don’t generally approve of sad face stories, but this is a despicable act and this may shame the child or his family into understanding that).

I hate all this 'he has learnt the lesson the hard way'. Talk about victim blaming. Your son has every right to be upset. Some little s* has stolen something precious to him.
The school should do a proper investigation.

I'm sure your son is very upset at losing it. Possibly not all the teachers were aware of its significance, but in a good school, they ought to have been.
Not quite on topic, but one of my former pupils always kept a photo of her recently deceased father on her desk. When I left I was very worried that her next teacher might ask her to put it away, and I explained to my replacement that the girl was comforted by the photo and it needed to stay. I just hope she listened.

I hope he gets it back OP.

I took off some rings to put on a new pair of tights and someone stole them when my head was down.

The rings were bought by my grandad for my birthday. Nothing swanky, nothing dear but precious. And it was my fault I suppose but you don’t expect friends to steal things they know are special.

I hope the police are able to get it back for your son.

Ah this is so sad. I didn’t understand why the head of year didn’t take the chain when there was a question over who it belonged to. He could have kept it and spoken to both children after school or contacted parents (given how important it is, I wouldn’t expect that for a random item nevcissarily).

This is so horrible, there are some really vile people out there, knowing what it meant to him and stealing it is disgraceful. No words, my heart goes out to your DS.

This is awful op, I would also contact the police and let the school know that’s what you have done. You might find them more cooperative after the police get involved.

I’m assuming your DS knows the name of the boy who told the younger boy to keep hold of the necklace, I would give the police his name as he obviously has something to do with the theft. It sounds like the younger boy is just holding the stolen necklace for the older boy!

and hugs to your poor DS. It's a horrible thing to happen.

Please remind him he carries his dad with him in his heart. He doesn't need an actual thing.

@avond Did the police help?