to be beyond angry at OH

[GymMat]

A friend dear to us is having a mental health crisis. Friend has been put on medication and has moved back with parents to help and keep an eye on the situation. Friend is manic atm. Very happy thinking they can fix the world but not making much sense. OH is getting annoyed with friends behaviour. OH has said if friend keeps it up then he's going to wash his hand of them. I think this is extremely unfair they have been friends for years. Friend obviously need support. Friend is not behaving in a mean way.

Aibu to be disgusted and seriously rethinking my life with OH?

My ex’s best friend was like this. He had endless MH crises including a few suicide attempts and my ex eventually just couldn’t cope with it anymore and cut all ties after his third (I think) suicide attempt. It was damaging his MH trying to help him, listen to him, be there for him 24/7 and also worry about him too.

It can be emotionally draining being the friend or relative of someone suffering with their MH. I’d give your OH a break personally, he’s clearly struggling to cope with it.

This is a difficult one. A close friend of mine has bipolar and for quite some time it wasn't managed. When he was in a mania he would often go these strange 'rants' and often he would say offensive things, very loudly, in public. On one occasion I remember being scared. I still saw him whenever I could but it was very difficult. My Husband could not cope with being in his company at that time.

I think that your OH is not unreasonable to wish to take back but I can also understand why you would saddened or even a little disappointed. To be disgusted though, that is very unfair.

You can’t claim it’s not upsetting him. It very clearly is or he wouldn’t be considering walking away. People don’t end long term friendships because someone is mildly irritating them. You’re giving him no credit for having thoughts or feelings about the situation that are different from yours but are totally valid. Instead of leaping ahead to what would he do if it was you with mental health issues is unhelpful and unnecessary. Just deal with this as it is. He’s saying he needs space or time and that’s fine. It’s not for you to judge. By doing that you’re no better than him.