To feel that this is the wrong time?

[CheltenhamLady]

I have a close friend who is dying. Sadly, I very much doubt she will see next Christmas.

I have just found out via a very excited and joyous FB post that her daughter/SIL are emigrating in early 2021 to Australia, taking with them my friends only GC.

I know adult children have to move on with their lives, but I simply could not do this knowing that my mum is so ill. My friend idolises her two granddaughters and will be devastated to wave goodbye realising that she will probably never see them again.

The couple have a good relationship but are (imo) a bit over-indulged by my friend and her husband. They are very early 30's with a lovely house and good professional careers in the City. I absolutely know it is none of my business, but I do think they could have waited 12 months and moved abroad then.

I feel so angry for her and really cannot understand how anyone can be quite so selfish. I also know that it will be me who has to help her through this without ever voicing my real opinion.

AIBU?

No mother would want to force their children to put their lives on hold.

It's not that simple to emigrate to Australia, it can't have been done on a whim. If the lockdown and people's illness have proven something , it's how short life is, and how crazy not to make the most of everything whilst you CAN.

Rules change. Friends of mine emigrated to Australia around 2 months ago. The whole family went through the borders with no issue.

How long do people expect the daughter to put her life on hold for? It's not ideal, but staying here after Brexit is a dreadful idea if they have another opportunity now.

I couldn't do this, not even with my mother's blessing. The guilt would stop me from feeling any excitement about my new life. On the other hand it might be even harder to leave their newly widowed father.

I also know that it will be me who has to help her through this without ever voicing my real opinion.

Are you upset for your friend, or annoyed about this?

I could never do what your friend’s daughter is doing, but there’s absolutely no reason why you should voice that opinion.

Yep seems odd timing , but it's not your business OP.

@StillCoughingandLaughing

I also know that it will be me who has to help her through this without ever voicing my real opinion.

Are you upset for your friend, or annoyed about this?

I could never do what your friend’s daughter is doing, but there’s absolutely no reason why you should voice that opinion.

Both upset and annoyed on her behalf. It is not my place to voice either of those emotions or even to agree if she voices criticism. I will be sympathetic but non committal.