11 month old behaviour - sorry if posted in the wrong place

[funnygirlmum]

Hello ! My 11 month old baby girl has changed a little over the last three weeks I would say. She suddenly understands a lot more stuff - she knows who we are and calls us mama and dada, she puts the phone to her ear and calls out nana because we talk to her every day on FaceTime. She knows lots of cool stuff and tries to copy stuff we say. Etc etc..

But she also is very bad tempered a lot and I'm not sure if I'm handling it correctly. She just won't stay still at nappy changes obviously or when I'm dressing her. Then she just looses it and screams and cries so much. I try to distract her by giving her stuff to play with or singing etc but sometimes nothing works and she just goes absolutely mental. Also when she wants something she can't have, she goes absolutely mental too. I try to distract her, talk to her nicely, explain why she can't have it, give her a cuddle etc. Is that the right thing to do ? My mum thinks I need to be firmer and just ' teach her ' not to behave like that. I'm not sure how to do that. I do firmly say no too.

The other thing she's going through is stranger anxiety. How should I respond to that? I give her cuddles and try to distract her and tell her it's ok and that it's a nice person etc and she doesn't need to be worried. But I let her take her time to warm up and I don't force her. My husband said ' we need to stop her from being like that '... I don't really think it's something you can stop. It's a phase and normal. But I don't want to make it worse by molly coddling her through it too much. I try to get the person she's anxious about involved in play with her and I and stay near her and encourage her and after a while she's usually ok. Is that the right way ? Also she knows all our family members and is happy with everyone but she always gets stranger anxiety with her uncle and it's really upsetting. He loves her so much. I wonder why it's always with him only ? Sometimes with her grandpa but not as much. But with her uncle, every time- even though she sees him at least weekly, it's always the same. Any advice appreciated. Please be honest.

Op, this all sounds totally normal and you're doing everything right. I used to find nappy changes at this stage exhausting, like a full on work out (wrestling match). I have a vivid memory of chasing my DS up the stairs trying to get him before he spread poo everywhere after he escaped as soon as I got his nappy off. For a while I resorted to the tv for nappy changes, not ideal perhaps but nothing else cut it.

I seem to recall 11 months is THE age for separation and stranger anxiety (a nightmare as that's when so many end maternity leave), so try not to worry as it's a phase and will pass like everything else. Just stay close by and offer lots of reassurance. I can relate to the issue with the uncle, my youngest cried every time she saw my dad for about a month, whereas she'd adored him before - again, she just got over it one day. Try not to worry, again offer lots of reassurance so she builds her sense of security and it will one day be a distant memory, I promise.

I also meant to say, do not worry about "mollycoddling"! She's still tiny, everything is new in her world, her cognitive abilities are developing constantly and they learn new ways to view even the most familiar people and things in their lives. The way to help her is to reinforce her sense of security and safety, not the other way around.

Totally normal and you’re doing the right thing.

You can’t discipline a baby, just distract her. Things like nappy changes and tooth brushing that have to be done, I just pin down and do as quick as possible!

Stranger anxiety is a normal developmental phase and you can’t discipline out of it. My 3yo still won’t talk to people she doesn’t know well!

Completely normal. At that age they are starting to realise that they are a separate entity to you and assert their independence. My 14-month-old still cries and wriggles to get away every time I lay him down for a nappy change.

Discipline at 11mo is saying no firmly (also drop your voice a bit) and putting them down/taking whatever off them.

Nappy changes at that age are v hard! My DD2 was like a mini Geoff Capes. My DH & I used what we called 'Mumsnet Judo' - you sit at a 90 degree angle to wriggling child and put your legs over their body!