Should I tell them?

[quebrantad]

I'm new here and please no judgement!

When my first was born I was really struggling as I was a single mum with no family support and I was 22 so fairly young. I turned into an alcoholic and I even drank whilst I was meant to be looking after him (don't judge) and when his dad found out he did the right thing (I didn't think so at the time though) and took son off of me and got full custody of him. I got help etc and now I'm with my DH and have 3 DC's with him. Anyway a few months ago I found my son on Facebook and I sent a friend request and sent him a message he didn't want to know and blamed me for everything (his dad passed away which I didn't know about) and told me to leave him alone so I did. A couple of weeks later he messaged me and we texted abit and I met him and it went ok and we've messaged a few times since. He asked if he could meet DH and I agreed and we're meant to on Thursday. Ive just found out his grandparents dont know we've been meeting up ( he was saying they don't care about him and then he said they'd stop me from seeing him if they knew). Now I'm torn and don't know what to do I feel like they should know but I also think he's old enough to make his own decisions (18). DH said I should as they wouldn't be able to stop him from seeing me as he's an adult

Can I have advice please and I ask again don't judge

At the end of the day OP you really don't want your son to lose trust in you.......so I wouldn't tell the grandparents.

He's 18. Up to him if he tells his grandparents or not.

Good luck x

I don't think it would go very well for you if you told them tbh.

He doesn't want them to know and if you tell them he's immediately going to lose trust in you. Don't tell them and leave it upto him

Oh bless your heart. No judgement what so I ever. But please remember to extend that kindness to yourself and don't judge yourself. I'd keep the trust between you and your son. He's an adult. Just get ready to get your shield out for the emotions you'll likely get chucked your way! Very best luck. I really hope you can build a relationship with your son

You meet your son on his terms. It's up to him to tell his grandparents.

Dont. It's up to him. Concentrate on building your relationship with him

He's an adult . You leave it up to him

It would be a different story if he was younger but at 18 he is an adult and so I would say don't tell them.
Good luck OP x

Don't ruin it again OP by destroying what little trust he has in you. No brainer.

Don't tell them! Try and build a strong relationship with him. I really wish you all the best

Don't tell them; it's not your place to. I'm glad you've reconnected with your son and I wish you all the happiness x

At 18 I’d leave it up to him.

Though if he has a good relationship with them is probably try to encourage him to be truthful with them.

I agree don't say anything to them. Do you even have a relationship with them? I would maybe encourage him to be honest but tell him it is his choice. He is 18 after all. A good sign though, that he can be honest with you OP.

I definitely won't tell them then. Things are going okay at the moment and I don't want to break his trust.

Oh bless you. No, don't tell them. Good luck OP, hope it goes well .x