To have no sex drive at 42? Please help!

[LeilaDarling]

Hi all, it’s literally dead from within, no marriage problems, I don’t think it’s a mental thing, I have zero desire or inclination to ever want it. No lust, no thoughts about it, can’t drum up any excitement. I have an under active thyroid, BMI of 37 so overweight. Always tired and have many aches and pains.
Was always very sexual and active in my 20’s and 30’s.
Can anyone shed any light as I feel it inappropriate during the current times to book a Doctor’s appt for help. A friend has suggested I may need oestrogen gel or tablets?
Thank you for reading.

No advice, but this could have been written by me. Almost the same age and BMI too. Will read the replies with interest, but be reassured that you’re not alone on this.

Not a clue either, same age, under active thyroid, not overweight. Will look forward to the replies too

Are you on the contraceptive pill? Because that can totally flatten your sex drive.

Once I went into perimenopause at 40 that was the end for me. For me no ovulation = no drive whatsoever. Not that I can’t Get into the mood but before I didn’t even have to try. Now sometimes it’s just hard work.

Any other symptoms Op? At your age I was perimenopausal, no interest in sex either. Now 45, thru menopause, and down below is like the Sahara, I've given up.

I think libido is impacted by mental and physical reasons. My libido was dead throughout late 30s and early 40s, but I agree with earlier comment about contraceptive pill. I'm actually quite resentful of all the years I was on it and it killed my libido. I'm off ot now (mid 40s) and things are so much better. So that physically helped me. But mentally too, there maybe barriers that you don't realise are there.I started reading a few naughty books, nothing too bad but just enough to remind me that women are allowed to want and enjoy sex and give me a few ideas 😉 Also once i found my sex drive again, having sex helped me maintain it if that makes sense. I started feeling more confident, and relationship with H improved so the libido is bolstered. The hardest part was just taking those first few steps and having sex again. Good luck OP, don't be afraid to talk to GP either. Especially to rule out anything physical.

Thanks to you all for your replies!
Interesting I’m in the same boat as you. Feel like we’re all friends chatting over coffee!
No, not on pill.
Sahara desert lol 😆
Thanks all.

I hate to say it but weight loss can dramatically improve libido as well as some of those aches and pains.

I lost some weight and my libido improved.

I got rid of the ExH and it shot up over night 😁😁

I know you don't have marriage problems but when you feel healthy and confident you feel sexy. So work on that?

Also I find if I have sex I want it more and more so start by having some

I'm the same but if I think about it properly, I think its actually because 1. I'm fat and feel disgusting so don't want to 2. I love my husband very much but I'm not sexually attracted to him at all anymore 3.the kids and drudgery of daily life don't put me in the mood for it. I'm only in my 30s and we haven't had sex for about 4 years now, maybe longer
But......I can get turned on and have secure thoughts still, and can orgasm on my own so the desire is definitely still there deep down

• sexual thought's

I'm the same, not overweight or anything. But I do have a chronic pain condition which worsens with sex so that makes me nervous to have it.

But I desperately love my husband, he's amazing & gorgeous and everything else is perfect. I just feel such guilt over it.

Sounds like peri menopause to me