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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ex on FaceTime with new gf - letting my kids join in

17 replies

NewStart23 · 15/12/2020 14:19

Hey, bit of background
So I left my husband in September, we have 3 kids, youngest 4 year old. We are still living together for the time being but he is going out on dates etc and also has a girlfriend in the UK who FaceTimes his 4/5/6 times a day. (Were posted abroad with military) so the FaceTime girlfriend has been on the scene a month or so but he is still seeing other women. I don’t care what he does as long as it doesn’t effect the kids. So just now she FaceTimed him (call number 3 of the day 🤣) I noticed my youngest wasn’t in the room with me. I went to look for her and she was sat with her dad on the FaceTime call with this woman. I wasn’t comfortable about this and asked my daughter to come with me. My ex was cross that I’d done that but I don’t want my children involved in whatever this is. My opinion is keep children out of it until 100% sure it is going to be serious and long term! Now I’m thinking how many other times has my kids been on the FaceTime call to her, I don’t want to ask the older ones as I don’t want to make an issue of it with them and confuse them etc.
Am I out of order?
TIA

OP posts:
shamus2020 · 15/12/2020 14:25

I would be so pissed off with this so I can see where your coming from. I'd have to tell him that that is totally unacceptable. What the hell is wrong with people!

notdaddycool · 15/12/2020 14:28

I understand why you don't want it and I'd agree with it, but I don't think you can unilaterally stop it. Ultimately I think you just need to ask him and hope he sees sense and has some respect for you still living under the same roof. But he's their parent too and has the right if he wants to.

Santaisironingwrappingpaper · 15/12/2020 14:34

Imo he is using your dc as a reference he is a good guy. Maybe tell dc about his other women so they can ask her which one she is??!!
Grin

harriethoyle · 15/12/2020 14:36

I don't think you're being unreasonable in feeling that but, sadly, there's not much you can do about it. He has the right to parent how he wants to (within reason) even on something like this which sounds barking...

Jobsharenightmare · 15/12/2020 14:44

Sorry OP I would feel exactly the same as you but I don't think there is anything you can do. IF he were reasonable you could ask how he would feel if the shoe were on the other foot...but I suspect you'll just end up arguing and he'll say it isn't your business anymore!

alltoomuchrightnow · 15/12/2020 14:47

Just wanted to say that i really feel for you and I'd hate it too.
I'm living with my ex (newly ex) and it's hideous. We don't have kids though . I hate my situation especially as have to hear his calls to a woman abroad also. But would hate to bring kids into the equation

Original poster
NewStart23 · 15/12/2020 14:51

Oh I’m sorry you’re going through it too. Yes it’s not a nice situation to be in but I’m happier knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Yeah I’ve heard some graphic things as he doesn’t speak quietly (probably tactical) as in talking dirty and how he wanted to smash my face in one day after an argument! 🙄 I hope you’re not in this awful situation for too long xx

OP posts:
lyingwanker · 15/12/2020 16:05

@NewStart23

Oh I’m sorry you’re going through it too. Yes it’s not a nice situation to be in but I’m happier knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Yeah I’ve heard some graphic things as he doesn’t speak quietly (probably tactical) as in talking dirty and how he wanted to smash my face in one day after an argument! 🙄 I hope you’re not in this awful situation for too long xx
Jesus, you're a better woman than me then because I'd have truly embarrassed him if I heard that conversation!
harriethoyle · 15/12/2020 19:41

God, what a cock 🙄

Original poster
NewStart23 · 19/12/2020 08:12

Update: after me thinking he respected my wishes about having the children on FaceTime call with her....he informed me he had booked for him and the children to go on a day trip with her when we go home at Christmas!!! He has never met the girl!! I’m beyond annoyed

OP posts:
Biscusting · 19/12/2020 08:18

Who are these women that are lining up for this selfish, immature Twat!?

Waveysnail · 19/12/2020 08:20

Can he not move into the block and leave you in the house?

RuggerHug · 19/12/2020 08:21

'Come back in here you guys, you know Daddy liked privacy when he's talking to his girlfriendS' Wave to camera over his shoulder

Original poster
NewStart23 · 19/12/2020 08:30

Hahah love it 👌

OP posts:
Original poster
NewStart23 · 19/12/2020 08:31

Waveysnail, I tried he won’t go and the 90 day period came and went and we had to hand the keys back

OP posts:
ChristmasUserName2020 · 19/12/2020 08:34

I agree with @notdaddycool It’s not good but sadly you’re not the children’s only parent so he can do what he likes as long as he’s not putting them in danger. Sorry if it’s hurting you Flowers

Original poster
NewStart23 · 19/12/2020 08:41

Yeah I agree to too, I just personally don’t think it’s the right thing to do. But yes at then end of the day if he wants to use the children to make him look like daddy of the year for his flavour of the month then there’s not much u can do. I would just prefer him to get to know the girl first but hey ho xx

OP posts:
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