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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is my mother weird for calling female genitalia a "willy"?

165 replies

CoalCraft · 15/12/2020 10:20

(light-hearted)

My parents came round yesterday to see baby DD for the first time, and mum offered to do a nappy change. I went with her to show her where everything was. Mum starts opening DD up and exclaims "oh dear, it (the poo)'s gotten all up in her willy!"

Her. Willy.

At this I suddenly remembered that she'd called it that when I was small too, and not knowing any better, so had I. But it's weird right? A willy is specifically a penis, and the female version is fanny? Anyone else use willy as a slang for vulva? For the record both DD and I are anatomically normal females - we don't have penises!

In case anyone's wondering, yes mum does also use willy for penis, she just makes no distinction - it's so odd!

(Also in before the "use anatomical terms" brigade comes in, DD is far too small to use any words right now, but yes, when she's learning I'll make sure she's aware of the correct words.)

OP posts:
DryRoastPeanut · 15/12/2020 12:22

Would you rather your mum call you newborn baby girls vagina a ‘fanny’ or ‘vagina’? I found it kinda cute.

silverbubbles · 15/12/2020 12:24

We used to call ours Willy Wonkas and Willy hedehogs!! - generic harmless names.
Make up your own name for it. Not that many toddlers refer to their vulvas though!!
front bottom is totally unacceptable.

ManxomeFoe · 15/12/2020 12:24

Willy for a girl is very odd, I've never heard that before.
We're in the anatomical terms brigade for DD and call it a vulva because there doesn't seem to be an equivalent to 'willy' for girls that is universally understood and unambiguous, but that also doesn't sound vulgar when spoken by a toddler. Took some getting used to though!

EpicDay · 15/12/2020 12:27

@Popskipiekin

Er yes this is odd haha. But people have such strange terms for genitalia. And my parents actually never said the word “poo” when I was growing up. They referred to a “turnout”, so much so that I recall struggling when someone would refer to there being “such a great turnout at that event”.

Maybe you can encourage your DM to at least refer to Willy for boys and Willa for girls? Wink Grin

Oh my god. Roaring with laughter. This will stay with me for ever.
ArabellaScott · 15/12/2020 12:27

I read all the parenting manuals and dutifully used the anatomically correct terms right from the off. Which did lead to quite an embarrassing and very loud declaration from my daughter in the supermarket once.

Lelophants · 15/12/2020 12:28

It's hilarious but I also think do you know what? Fair enough on her! There is no equivocal non grotesque or in some way sexualised version for girls. Call it the same . Willy works. Grin

Meowchickameowmeow · 15/12/2020 12:29

@immortalstone

I call it my gentleman's area

OMG - this is even worse than front bottom. By a clear mile. Dreadful.

It's a joke from Top Gear, I guess you had to be there!
Original poster
CoalCraft · 15/12/2020 12:31

Ha! Well glad IANBU about willy for girls, but perhaps IABU about fanny! I've never thought of it as rude, always seen it as the direct counterpart to willy, but perhaps it is regional as pp suggested. To be honest o mostly refer to DD's as her "bits" or "privates" anyway.

I was my mum's one and only baby, so it's not a carry-over from older brothers. She was also an oldest child, so she didn't pick it up from her mother that way either (not that I can imagine Grandma saying willy anyway). Mum's not particularly prudish -perfectly happy to use typical "child-friendly" slang terms like willy, poo, fart, bum etc. Think this is just a weird quirk. I did point it out as unusual at the time and she just shrugged and said "well whatever you want to call it", clearly not bothered.

Loving the stories of the weird and wonderful names people have for vulva. Agree that front bum is horrid! Growing up I had a friend who called it a foof. Apparently DH's mum used "daisy" Confused

OP posts:
Buddytheelf85 · 15/12/2020 12:36

My parents used to refer to ‘private parts’.

BobbidyBob · 15/12/2020 12:36

my parents used ‘pinky’ which is unnervingly descriptive and I do not like it.

I’m dying at this GrinGrinGrin

I’m another one who can’t remember what her parents called it, and was just handed a book at an appropriate age and left to it.

MagicSummer · 15/12/2020 12:37

I too come from a medical family and the correct words were always used for bodily functions - no pee or poo in our house and even now I can't bear to use those words as they are so twee. If you are grown up, surely you just say 'I'm going to the loo' rather than describe exactly what you are going to do when you get there?

We used the word 'navel' for belly button which I still use.

DontStopThinkingAboutTomorrow · 15/12/2020 12:39

number one and number two are still used...
Was in hospital last year sometime and if any of the people on the ward needed help to the toilet, they'd be asked "Do you need a number one or a number two?"
One particular very Cockney lady on the ward would just shout that she wanted a fucking pony Grin

Mylittleturkeysandwich · 15/12/2020 12:40

Wee only have one DS and he has a Willy. When he's old enough to understand we'll switch to penis. I also don't know what my mum called our bits when we were little. I know she didn't like the word fart and would call it a pump. Which I actually think is worse.

Seriouslymole · 15/12/2020 12:42

I always assumed foof was from the French foufounes which I was convinced meant fanny - I have literally just found out it means buttocks. I'm shocked that I have been wrong all this time.

Oh, we also call it a fandango here occasionally - completely incorrect obvious as the fandango is a dance but whatever...

Seriouslymole · 15/12/2020 12:44

@Mylittleturkeysandwich

Wee only have one DS and he has a Willy. When he's old enough to understand we'll switch to penis. I also don't know what my mum called our bits when we were little. I know she didn't like the word fart and would call it a pump. Which I actually think is worse.
When he's old enough to understand what? A penis is a penis is a penis - if you start calling it that he'll understand what it is. If you start calling it a willy and then change to penis that will be far more confusing, surely?
LadyJaye · 15/12/2020 12:46

I grew up in a front bottom house. Grin

It's one of the reasons I'm glad I don't have children myself and that the youngsters in my family are of an age that this is no longer a thing, as I'd find it a bit difficult.

Totally understand the importance of teaching the correct nomenclature, but hearing very small children say 'vulva' or 'penis' (or, as per one memorable occasion on a train, 'gonads') sounds a bit... weird (I 100% accept this is my issue and not anybody else's, though!).

I went to school with a girl who called her general pubic area her 'flower fairy' and thinking about it even now makes me cringe. Can't be doing with tweeness.

FlamedToACrisp · 15/12/2020 12:47

I thought we'd all agreed on MN that it was a fanjo?

DontStopThinkingAboutTomorrow · 15/12/2020 12:50

I know vulva is the correct term, but it's an awful sounding word!

Yeahnahmum · 15/12/2020 12:52

J*sus how imature (and weird. ....) from your mum. and also: no ...your baby is not "too young" to have body parts described exactly like what they are! Ffs it is not a fanny...

Your both U here.
Why is saying vagina/penis such a big deal for some people Hmm

Pinkywoo · 15/12/2020 12:52

I can't believe all these people clutching their pearls about the word fanny! Where I grew up it was just willy or fanny, all these twee words like nonny, foo foo and fairy are why children are now taught the anatomical terms, because people wouldn't know what they're talking about. Also why are all the silly made up terms for female genitals yet pretty much everyone uses willy for male?

Babdoc · 15/12/2020 12:54

Does anyone remember the hysterical thread by a MNetter who referred to hers as a cabbage?
Her thread was entitled “My cabbage drinks the bath water” Grin
I’m a retired doctor, but I’d never heard a patient call it that in 36 years - let alone worry that it filled up with bath water!
I hope it ended up in classics, it still makes me chuckle now.

N0tthe0nlyfruit · 15/12/2020 12:54

"Turnout" for vulva is hilarious! I've a friend who is so prudish and Victorian she has her girls say they want to "go for a penny" instead of wee/widdle, so I don't even want to know what they call a vulva! I must ask her Grin

My parents used penis/vagina in the 70s which caused consternation with some other adults. Yet weirdly "poo" was taboo with my eccentric DF inventing "bum bums". Imagine walking down a pier last year with my quite posh, elderly DF bellowing "Notthe, mind the dog's bum bums on the path ahead"!!!

Lelophants · 15/12/2020 12:54

If they shout willy in public it's less likely to be made into an issue. Shouting penis or vulva can have a very different reaction and make the child feel embarrassed or ashamed by the reactions. This is my only concern really. It's ok for kids to be silly about their privates and distinguish it from when it's a medical term or discussed in relation to sex. I'm so conflicted about this one.

DontStopThinkingAboutTomorrow · 15/12/2020 12:55

I think fanny is regional, as said upthread. Where I grew up (SE England) Fanny was considered vulgar, as was Dick for penis.
I thought Minnie was the universal term until a previous MN thread on this issue!

again2020 · 15/12/2020 12:55

That's the weirdest thing I've heard it my life!! Haha!

Maybe as weird as my mother spelling out 'bottom' but using a shortened version and spelling out 'B...T...M' for front bottom. She still does it now!