AIBU to feel it will be this way forever now?

[MagicCurses]

My 17 month old settles well to sleep and naps usually. I think she’s in the sleep regression at the minute. She went from last week refusing to sleep in the day so had nearly a week of no naps and then napped well self settling 3 days and yesterday refused again. Last night and the night before she was waking having a cuddle and then going back down okay but crying in her sleep on and off for almost two hours. Have tried everything because I’m really really tired and also have a 2 month old. She usually goes through phases where she will have 4oz when teething at night then snaps back to normal but the past two nights has been medicine milk milk milk she’s had 8oz at once each time. Two nights ago was 1-3 last night 11-1 then she settles down finishes the rest of her sleep until 7-8am as usual and she’s okay. If we don’t give milk it’s the same but with an earlier wake up. She will scream and cry intermittently then lay back down. Yesterday had to give Calpol and later nurofen. Then she will skip her nap and last week when she was doing this she was fine. I think it could have something to do with second molars? She does seem in pain and is crying in her sleep. Then we usually have to go in a few times. AIBU to think this will be this way forever now? I’m exhausted and need it to end so soon because my eyeballs are going to drop out.

I haven't voted because it won't be forever, but you are in no way unreasonable! I've been there and it's shit, but most children will get through this phase and you will get some sleep back.

In the meantime- and I do get the urgency with this - can your partner take the older child while you sleep with the baby? Are you breastfeeding? If you're not is there any one around who can come and take a night, or at least come and help in the day so you can get some sleep?

I have no advice on the sleep, as nothing but time has ever worked for mine, but the best thing you can do is call in as much support as possible and try to grab sleep wherever and whenever you can.

To be honest the baby is fabulous. She doesn’t wake over night usually so sleeps until 7-8am from 10-11pm so thankfully that’s good. The older one I’ve never experienced this before I don’t know what to actually do. I’m desperate so just do as much as I can hence the bottle which we stopped ages and ages ago. I don’t know what it is @BlackRibboner have you had anything like this before? The day before yesterday she had 1.5 hour nap as usual and was like that overnight yesterday refused had 25 mins in the car and we had the same night so?

She sounds just like my 17 month old tbh - like you, I think it's a mix of teething and sleep regression. The night before last mine went through 8-5, last night he was up 11-12, 2-3 and then up for the day from 4.30 😔 We have more bad nights than good ones, but it's wildly unpredictable.

As I said, I have never managed to sort sleep issues - we've done sleep training, with mixed results - so the only thing I can suggest is adapt to survive. My husband and I switch nights - one night I'll go on the sofa and get a full night's sleep, the next we swap and I go upstairs and take responsibility for the youngest. It's not a perfect solution, but at least we both get a bit of sleep and that sees us through.

I really feel for you, this time is so hard, but it will pass. Hang on to that if you can!

@BlackRibboner does yours cry & scream. She’s learnt to say bottle so naturally she wakes & sometimes says that but I’ve been giving her it once a night because I’m so tired. My partner works most days but he does help tbh. She seems ok during the day. Does yours?

@BlackRibboner does yours nap

Sometimes he naps, sometimes not (or if he does, it'll be literally ten minute power nap). It seems to make no difference in terms of sleep - he can have bad nights after good naps and vice versa.

He wakes crying, will settle in arms but often start screaming again as soon as you put him down. I co sleep a lot, which is sometimes fine and sometimes not depending on how restless he is. We've tried Calpol when he sounds in pain, as his incisors are coming through, but again there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason - sometimes the medicine seems to help, sometimes it doesn't. I was breastfeeding until about a week ago, but he finally seems happy to settle without it now, which is a relief!

We both work full time - I'm not sure if you mean your partner can't help at nights because he's working, but unless fatigue would be a genuine risk at his work, you can't be left to do all the nights. You're looking after two young children in the day, which is physically demanding and you can't function if you're exhausted. If he really can't do nights, can he take some time off so you can at least catch up in the day?

@BlackRibboner oh no he’s great in terms of helping out he drives a hgv so not ideal to be up all night although he’s up when she cries obviously because she’s loud. She’s actually got all teeth apart from second molars I had a look before and it could be that to be honest. There’s no swelling or redness but there’s like a ridge kind of dent so could be that starting to break. I can’t deal with no naps. She’s cranky 😂 she hasn’t napped today I didn’t try properly because I knew she wouldn’t sleep so have left it to be honest.

It won't be forever, don't worry. It just feels like it We've just come out the other end of this with my 22 month old, he's definitely getting his second molars and we had about six weeks of off/on terrible nights. He's slept through for the last week now, so I'm hoping that's it for a while!

I can't even imagine coping with a tiny baby as well, so you have my upmost sympathy.

@whatswithtodaytoday isn’t it horrid? I’m literally dreading going to sleep because I know I’ll have a horrible night. I’m lucky I guess that she will self settle but my lord it’s been so many nights of waking or sleeping 13 hours straight and no naps so I guess it’s all hard lately. I can’t really see much at the back where her molar is supposed to be coming to be honest. Did you have that for weeks? She’s chewing her dummy on the side of her mouth like right at the back and hands in mouth but no sign of teeth or gum holes yet!

My 17 month old was up 11:30-2:30 last night. Then up at 7 for the day. Normally she'd sleep 6:45/7pm-7:30/8.

She done this a few times recently, really hoping it doesn't go on too long. I'm expecting no.2 and really struggling to sleep at the best of times

@ChristmasTreeOhChristmasTreeOh it’s so hard because she’s tired but she won’t nap today so she wouldn’t yesterday either but fine 3 naps before that so I don’t really know.

My DS has always been a fantastic sleeper but once baby DS was born when he was 21 months old, that all changed. He suddenly started crying and tantrumming at bedtime, he also started waking multiple times a night. All I can say is he was both teething (he had a few teeth come through at once) and upset by the fact he now had a baby brother. Baby is almost 5 months old now and my 2 year old has settled again.

Could be teething, could be the new baby or could be both. These things are usually phases though.

@Nowaynl to be honest she loves the baby she has been okay with her for this whole time and it’s only day the past week or two she’s been like this. Usually she is hit and miss with naps but usually always has one. Missing 7 naps in a row was hard but she did have a cold she’s thankfully over now. It was the first time she’s been sick actually. I’m just so very exhausted I hope it doesn’t last long had a little shimmer of hope after a week of no naps she was going down awake and settling herself but that lasted three days and nights and the past two nights were back to all the fun and games so I’m not going to think it’s over again haha.

Anyone else? :)