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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Perimenopause - anyone else?

74 replies

Covidbegone · 15/12/2020 01:14

So I’m 40. My Mum started her menopause at 38, and I’ve been led to believe it’s a familial trait. My periods have become irregular and don’t get me started on the excess hair. The main thing I’ve noticed is that my mood swings are up and down beyond. Is this normal? I’m really struggling with them as one minute I’m on a complete high and being silly with my kids, the next I’m a blubbering mess, and realistically I know it’s over not much and probably annoying my friends with my whiney texts. Is this normal? Anyone else? Any advice? Not been to the dr yet, just feels like I’m ticking every perimenopausal box

OP posts:

CallistoSol · 15/12/2020 09:11

@Bridget1979

I’m 41 and have every symptom for the peri menopause. My GP has advised me to fill in a diary of symptoms and go back to her in 2 months. The night sweats and insomnia are killing me.

Two months

SpaceOp · 15/12/2020 10:24

I think I might be perimenopausal. Am on metformin for PCOS so probably do need to see the doctor. Have sort of put it off during Covid but am increasingly thinking I need to go see her after Christmas. I was having what I referred to as pre-menstrual insomnia, but it's more like, most-of-the-time insomnia now. Periods have got much closer together and while mostly not that heavy the flooding is a feature at least once every month or two.

Low mood generally. Not all the time, but more than I'd expect. But then, I'm also tired, stressed about work and money, worried about family impacted by Covid.....

GrolliffetheDragon · 15/12/2020 11:16

Pretty sure I am, though my GP is not helpful. Just says it's not the menopause if I'm still having periods. Seems incapable of hearing the 'peri' bit

But my periods were sometimes barely there and sometimes flooding right through a pad and onto clothes and whatever I was sitting on in less than 20 minutes, Mirena sorted that out (and the night sweats). I have pills for anxiety, as the anxiety I used to be able to manage myself just went though the roof. I get terrible breast pain and developed IBS symptoms. I also generally feel incompetent and like I can't cope with things I used to breeze through.

SpaceOp · 15/12/2020 11:20

@GrolliffetheDragon

Pretty sure I am, though my GP is not helpful. Just says it's not the menopause if I'm still having periods. Seems incapable of hearing the 'peri' bit

This makes me so sad. GPs can be so incompetent. I haven't spoken to mine yet but I'm completely confident that I'll get taken seriously and she'll do her best for me based on 10 years of experience of her (and her partners) as my GP .

Blacktothepink · 15/12/2020 11:20

The only way I can function is with hrt and sertraline, but I’m also T1 diabetic and the hormones affect my sugar levels 🤯

Tootsey11 · 15/12/2020 13:47

@Othering, I'm presuming you meant me with the vagifem. I'm on it, unfortunately it's not working. I have been left that long with no help, I am now trying to replace 10 years worth of low estrogen.

That's why I was advising anyone with symptoms to get help fast. I would not wish atrophy on anyone, it s horrendous. Trying to work everyday in pain, doctors should make all women aware of symptoms early from mid thirties onwards.

ImEatingVeryHealthilyOhYes · 15/12/2020 14:00

It’s so weird how little this is talked about. I got all the symptoms at 40 and convinced myself I had ovarian cancer £500 of private scans later (gp laughed at me) and relentless googling I finally figured it out. Went on the pill (Qlaira) and it’s mostly better. Think I’ll have to move to hrt soon.

The mood swings are the worst for me, I can literally go from suicidal (wouldn’t do it though I’m a single mum) to feeling like the luckiest person in the world, within hours.

I don’t know anyone in real life who’s going through it/ willing to talk about it. Feel very alone with it.

Goinghome20 · 15/12/2020 14:10

Yes me. Looks like i've found my people!

I'm so shocked that nobody talks about this. My mum died 10 years ago and I wish I'd listened to her when she was telling me about hers but I was a teen and so not interested then!

I'm 53 and definately peri. Flooding, headaches night sweats, insomnia

HRT made me bleed for 4 weeks and I became anaemic.

I'm having a hysterscopy to find out why and a mirena fitted to stop it happening again.

This has blindsided me as I am really healthy normally.

MinnieMountain · 15/12/2020 14:23

The insomnia is the worst bit for me. And I can’t take HRT as I’m on Tamoxifen. Which is what caused me to go peri-menopausal early. Gah!

Icanseewhyichangednyusername · 15/12/2020 14:40

I was diagnosed as premature ovarian failure aged 18, 20 years ago. Got put on the pill to balance my hormones but didn’t get on with it so stopped.
I’m now keen to find a natural replacement? If one exists! Something to top up my oestrogen . Any suggestions welcome x

ViciousJackdaw · 15/12/2020 15:09

I'm 44 and have been peri for a couple of years. Night sweats, hot flushes, insomnia, thinning hair on head, more hair on chin, once regular, light 3 day periods are now 7 day bloodbaths which turn up whenever they want.

Thankfully, my moods are fine but that's probably because I'm on venlafaxine!

stopgap · 15/12/2020 15:18

I’m 43.5 and have always been prone to insomnia, but that tendency has gone up by about twenty levels. I also have thinning hair and mood swings. I started taking sleeping pills a few weeks ago and have no symptoms at all when I sleep well, so will be sticking to that regimen for a while and feeling no guilt!

ShowerOfShite · 15/12/2020 16:20

I have the insomnia and the brain fog, can barely string a sentence sometimes and my memory is shocking compared to what it was.
No period for 4 years, they stopped overnight. I'm 46.

Tootsey11 · 15/12/2020 17:36

@ShowerOfShite

Are you on Hrt?

FastnetLundyRockall · 15/12/2020 17:50

Question: does anyone know if women on the pill should be able to tell if they're peri menopausal/ menopausal? Or does it just disguise the signs?

ShowerOfShite · 15/12/2020 17:50

Tootsey I'm not on any HRT, I probably need to speak to my GP. I don't know much about it to be honest. The insomnia is very draining.

SpaceOp · 15/12/2020 17:56

When the insomnia first kicked in fr me and I was researching PCOS and menopause, I didn't find much. But I came across an article that commented on the value of Omega 3 for women with PCOS.

I mention it because I started taking it and really found that I started sleeping better and ws less anxious and I subsequently researched that Omega 3 is often used for these purposes. I've just realised I haven't taken any in months so I might start again and see if it helps. Whether it's helping with peri menopause in itself or the symptoms though, I don't know. And I don't know if it would help anyone else. But it certainly can't hurt (and, again, based on my research, it's clear that most westerners are low on Omega 3 and it's an incredibly useful tool that we lose out on).

AuntHilda · 15/12/2020 18:03

I was 44 when the periods from hell arrived. Having a coil fitted sorted that out. I'm now 46 and this year has seen other symptoms appear - chin hair, headaches, flushes, anxious, teary and absolutely dreadful insomnia which has been the worst symptom of all and was the reason I called my GP again. My GP is fab and I have been on HRT gel for 3 weeks now and I feel like a new woman and I am sleeping again! Please do not accept being fobbed off. Look up the NICE guidelines and keep asking. I wish I'd done it soon tbh.

ShowerOfShite · 15/12/2020 18:07

I forgot about the chin hair, it's like wire and grows so fast.

Lockdownlumpy · 15/12/2020 19:36

Yep. Just turned 40 but my mum had early menopause so suspect I will too.
Cycles have gone all wonky.
Libido has completely gone.
Horrible beard hairs growing on my chin.
All spotty around my chin and neckline.
Get ragey about sittle little things.
Random panicky anxious feelings - have never experienced this before.
Brain fog - go to fridge and totally forget what I needed in it. Yesterday I couldn't remember the location of a shop that I have been to many many times.
Joints ache, think I actually have arthritis in one foot.
Sore boobs - have never had this before except when pregnant
My hair is falling out.
Have had a few episodes of dizziness and nausea in the last 9 months or so but had previously assumed this was because I generally have low blood pressure.
I'm not sleeping well but I've always been a shit sleeper so not sure if that is peri or not.

GP is going to blood test for all other possible causes/deficiencies then go from there. Although I was told that I'm rather young for HRT.

parsnipinapeartree · 15/12/2020 20:20

So once all these perimenopause symptoms settle and we're actually in menopause- then what? Will we regain the ability to string a sentence together? I was in an important meeting the other week and I struggled to find a word, got flustered and then couldn't even finish my sentence.

nancybotwinbloom · 15/12/2020 20:30

I've been the same since I hit 40!

@EddyF that's the most useful advice ever about the test at boots.

Maybe I am peri menopausal maybe I am just a crank.

I've had hot sweats on my face. Heavy periods when I've previously been light for my entire life. Mood swings.
Irritability. Lack of sex drive.

White hairs in my eyebrows. I guess pubes are next .

Although not many grey hairs. Yet.

Just a general I'm in a decline feeling about my face and body.

NinetyNineRedBalloonsGoBy · 15/12/2020 20:32

I have all these too, been getting slowly worse for 4 years now. I'm 43. I also have Hashimotos though (under active thyroid) so I don't know if it's that either.
Got GP appt on Friday, want to ask for HRT but I have 2 questions if any knowledgeable people know?

Is there any link between modern HRT and increased risk of breast cancer? I have a family history of bc

Is the pill the same as HRT? I hated being on the pill in my 20s

nancybotwinbloom · 15/12/2020 20:33

If you take hrt what are the side effects?

Are you on it for life?

nancybotwinbloom · 15/12/2020 20:34

How do you know when you are in menopause vs peri menopause?

What's the difference?

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