I've been seeing someone for 10 months, they've been separated from their wife for just over a year.
It wasn't my intention to get involved with someone who'd only recently come out of a relationship, especially someone with school age children and I wasn't looking for anything serious because I'd decided that I was a bit shit at serious relationships.
I kept it casual to begin with and made it clear that I wasn't looking to rush into anything. He was the exact opposite and declared his love and adoration pretty quickly.
He wanted to tell the world but I insisted that it was far too soon to be introduced to his children and suggested that it would be best if he didn't mention anything about me to his wife whilst they were still sorting out their divorce as it could lead to acrimony.
He agreed not to begrudgingly, though he did tell his adult son about me.
When lockdown started, he rang and messaged all the time and helped me wherever he could. He was really lovely and I started to fall for him.
Once lockdown eased, we started to spend our weekends together with him always pushing for me to stay as long as possible.
I must admit that although I'm not a romantic person, I enjoyed being the object of his affection, and feeling adored. It made a nice change to be made a fuss of.
At first he talked about me being his last chance to find happiness and wanting to live together. and it would be me putting the damper on things as I feared that our relationship was just a rebound from his unhappy marriage.
I also knew that being in a relationship with someone whose children were still in their teens wouldn't be easy and these along with concerns about my own ability to have a long term relationship meant that I had to be the realist.
Over the last few months though, things have changed and he now says that there's no need to live together. He has started to talk about getting his own place once the marital home is sold (he currently rents, whilst I own my property).
The not living together isn't an issue as such as this is something I'd never rush into but I would like to think in time it would be something we'd want to do, it's the change of heart that bothers me.
My youngest started university recently and said she was surprised that he hadn't moved in. I mentioned this to my partner as it'd made me laugh and his reaction was that he couldn't move in because of his job, which made no sense at all and felt like he was grasping at straws.
At no point have I suggested that we move in together but it was a bit of a blow to know that it's no longer something he wants in the future.
Although we only live20 miles apart, we only meet at the weekend, before lockdown this was because he had a different hobby on every night of the week, whilst I had a couple of evenings free but now feels like I'm something to do at the weekend.
Another change is that the amount of contact via text when we're not together has dwindled to once or twice a day. We spoke about this and he said that he'd become complacent and that he was bothered about boring me but I got the feeling that it was probably I that was boring him.
We've been apart a couple of weekends recently because I've been self isolating after being in hospital and he wanted to spend the weekend before Christmas together but when I mentioned that he might not want to come round because I've got to get the Christmas food shop done, he said he had a few bits to buy but suggested that we meet up afterwards instead.
This hurt me a bit because if the boot were on the other foot, I'd want to help him.
It feels like he just wants to be involved in the fun times rather than the day to day stuff.
I rather naively assumed that as we are a couple who're spending Christmas together, that we'd do the prep together but now I'm thinking that I've misunderstood what our relationship actually is.
I know this all sounds very trivial and a non issue but it bothers me. Am I making a fuss about nothing? This isn't the first time he's suggested something like this but tends to back track if i pull him up.
This time i just said that I'd be busy all weekend and that we'd best leave it.
I'm sure it's my own fault for getting involved with someone so soon after their marriage ended and my own fault for believing his lust inspired bullshit when I should know better.