To not want to go abroad with family?

[DunravenBadger]

Dad wants us all to go away next year together as a family - me, DH and DSD, DSis, brother in law, nieces, nephews and Mum. We can only go in the summer holidays because of work commitments / school so that really limits us.

Thing is, I do want to go abroad with DH and DSD if it's possible (though I'm aware it's highly unlikely) so I feel like I can't say no and put it down to lack of money or covid. DH and I can afford it, I just don't want to. We all have such different tastes that I just don't think we would even enjoy a week abroad together. Plus DH and I want to start ttc at the end of next year so it may be our last summer to have a holiday just the 3 of us.

Dad seems to think everything will be fine next summer re covid (unlikely!!) So any attempt at saying no based on covid is met with "yeah but it may be fine and obviously I only mean if covid has calmed down".

But covid aside, I still wouldn't want to go abroad with them next year. I'd be happy booking something in the UK (with a blooming good cancellation policy!) But not abroad. Am I just being selfish?

Could you go somewhere you can all do different things and meet up after? If not then you just need to be honest and say you don't want to

I think that you should be honest and it's good practice for when you have a baby and they are making demands.

Use DSD as a partial excuse, if you need to. It's been a rubbish year and you want to do something with the three of you.

Just say no. Say you want to go on holiday just the three of you, abroad or at home. DH and I have been refusing his family's increasingly frenzied attempts to get us to go on a cruise with them for years. We were probably polite about it at the start, but these days we say we'd rather cut our own heads off than go on a cruise with them.

I honestly don't know why saying No is so difficult!

We like such different things that even the accommodation, evening meal locations etc are all vastly different for each of us in terms of what we like/ are used to. Going abroad just seems like such a lot of money.

Tbh I'm sort of hoping it's a non issue because of covid but I would love one abroad holiday with just DH and DSD before starting to ttc.

Maybe I could just say next year is a No go but following year is an option as vaccine should be more widespread etc. They don't know we want to ttc and who knows how long it'll take when we do.

I have 5 sisters who regularly book things and go away on holiday together. I always refuse, they've got used to it now but they still invite me, I still say no and we haven't fallen out about it.

Their idea of a good holiday is heat, alcohol, sunbathing, self catering and English food. None of which I want to do. So I don't. Just be honest, it's better than making something up that you might have to backtrack about next time you are invited.