.. to think this just attention seeking?

[ConcernedAuntie]

I have a niece who I love dearly, but she does rub me up the wrong way at times.

She is 30 and a single mum to a beautiful little girl and she is doing a really good job. We all tell her all the time. Dad never on the scene.

But, she is for ever posting stuff on Facebook about how everything is so bad for her.

She is so poor - but she only works 20 hours a week because apparently she doesn't have time to work more with all the washing/housework/whatever. Little girl has 30 hours free childcare at a nursery and her grandma has her on Saturdays. In normal times however, she is always posting pictures of nights out with her friends. Posts pictures of new hair styles/colours and lastest sets of acrylic nails.

She is so fat/ugly she had to have a child so that someone will love her. Cue loads messages of Facebook telling her how beautiful she is (she really is). She is size 8/10. We (her family) all love the bones of her. I don't know what else we can do to prove it to her.

Says she is like she is because she never had any good role models growing up. Well excuse me, thanks for that.

This morning she posts that she will only be buying presents for her daughter and will not be sending cards because she hasn't got time, as a single mum, to write them and she is too poor to buy any. Now, I wouldn't want her to buy me anything (not that she ever has) but as I send presents for her and her daughter for birthdays and Christmas that I don't even get a thank you for, a Christmas card would not be too much to ask. Is it me?

I also know for a fact, my DH was the executor, that she was left £10,000 by her grandmother in August.

Am I just a miserable old auntie? I don't know why but this really wound me up today.

Sounds very tedious

Urgh that would wind me up too. Don't take it to heart, she probably doesn't believe half of it but as you say it's all for the attention isn't it?

do yourself a favour and unfollow her on facebook

There is a reason why Facebook is called Fakebook. Your DN has obviously invented an online persona of the hard done by struggling single mum. I’d honestly just block or unfriend or whatever and not look at her Facebook any more. It’s not really her.

Everything on social media is attention seeking.

Just unfollow her.

Yes very much sounds like it’s for the attention.
Perhaps she does feel hard done by, being a single parent and not having a partner when perhaps her friends are in relationships and staying to settle etc...

It’s a little concerning because she’s 30, it’s very immature behaviour.

To be honest Id start calling it out a bit - nothing public, it’s not to humiliate her but if she moaned to me about being poor I’d ask her straight faced “have you put your inheritance in a savers account or are you able to access it in emergencies” or something like that - when she talks about not having time I would say “oh you have Saturdays though as Granma has yours.DC - so that’s nice for you isn’t it, oh and the nursery every day of course”.... followed by a big smile....

In terms of the presents I would continue to buy the little girl but I might cut down on her present as she can’t even send a thank you for them. She sounds entitled and immature and I personally wouldn’t be able to indulge that behaviour

She sounds very immature. I'd just buy for the little girl and try not to get sucked into the drama too much.

Unfollow her. I'm constantly surprised by how many people I know who are LOVELY in real life are total cringeworthy dickheads on social media and I've unfollowed them so as not to taint my relationship with them. It stops me getting irritated!

The lack of thank yous for presents would definitely bother me IRL though, that's very rude and ungracious. I'd send her a reminder afterwards - 'did you receive the xmas present okay? Hope you liked it! xxx' - I also have a niece who never thanks me for presents and now she's an adult I'm not going to buy for her any more.

I agree. You don’t have to defriend her, just unfollow and it’s no longer something to annoy you.

At 30 you shouldn’t be buying for her, especially when she has that attitude! Christmas is all about the kids and repeat! Just buy for her daughter and regift what you’ve bought her!😁

Stop buying for her, she’s old enough to buy her own stuff.

This morning she posts that she will only be buying presents for her daughter and will not be sending cards because she hasn't got time, as a single mum, to write them and she is too poor to buy any

Tell her that you are also poor and too busy at the moment so it will be a welcome relief to mutually dispense with gift giving this year.

She sounds like an attention seeking, self proclaimed victim.

No idea, but FB rarely tells the whole story. It's the kind of thing I wouldn't judge, in a two-sides-to-every-tale kind of way.

Does sound annoying but being a single parent IS hard, even if she has support from the grandma. All the housework is you, all the admin, all the childcare, and every single decision about your child, your house, everything. The world is made for couples, especially financially. Maybe she is struggling. If she’s only working 20 hours she’s probably on benefit level income, which is not that much.

@AwaAnBileYerHeid

She sounds like an attention seeking, self proclaimed victim.

Perfectly said.