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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to have a problem with giving someone my smartphone to borrow?

40 replies

espagna · 14/12/2020 13:50

Don't know whether this is the suitable subforum for this. I got in this argument with a friend. I was waiting for the bus and a woman in her 20s asked to borrow my phone to make a call to her mom to send her money on Revolut. She looked genuine and well dressed so I handed it to her with no hesitation.

My friend says I'm stupid because she could have run away with it but I disagree. I wouldn't give my phone to any stranger, I'd analyse them and see if they appear 'genuine'. If they look shabby, in bad clothes, then not a hope in hell. Also not to be discriminatory but if it's a young man I'd be a bit more wary.

OP posts:
LeSangeEstDansLarbre · 14/12/2020 13:55

I can think of a number of good reasons: phone security; possibility of theft of the phone; possible theft if your payment details, etc; germy hands (not just COVID!)...

Is this Revolut thing like PayPal? (Sorry, I am old). If so and she already has an account then surely she has another way she usually uses to access the app? Are you sure she hasn’t managed to use one of your accounts for something and has spent a chunk of your money?

By the way - you can’t tell a wrong ‘un by how they look, dress or sound. The best con artists are the most plausible.

grey12 · 14/12/2020 13:56

I have asked to borrow this guy's iphone once because mine was completely out of battery and I was in the wrong address (but thankfully not far away) for an important exam Confused I needed to check how to get there

OuiOuiKitty · 14/12/2020 14:00

There's a bloke who I often see down the road from my house who has asked to borrow my phone on a few occasions and I have given it to him. He seems to me like he has some kind of special needs and each time he has wanted to borrow my phone to call the people who's house he is standing outside of when they aren't home.
He gets me to put in the number and then I pass it to him.

I'm not opposed to letting someone borrow my phone I just use my judgement at the time.

Coseynightin · 14/12/2020 14:00

This is the problem with the world today , people are so worried about security etc.

This seems like an act of kindness and humanity would be so much better if this was done more. Not everybody is bad.

Well done - you helped somebody out.

Blueroses99 · 14/12/2020 14:01

I’d be more worried about data/identity theft, ‘scanning’ the phone, downloading a malicious app, calling a premium rate number and all sorts of known tricks that I don’t know about.

In an emergency I might dial a number and put it on speaker so the person could speak (they wouldn’t have any privacy but I would know that they haven’t done anything dodgy). Handing my phone over... no.

emilyfrost · 14/12/2020 14:02

YABU. The way someone looks isn’t indicative of their character or behaviour. Looking naice doesn’t mean they’re a good person.

There are a million and one reasons this was a poor decision on your part; you should be more careful in future.

pinkdragons · 14/12/2020 14:06

To make a call, yes. Allowing someone to make financial transactions etc, no.
I wouldn't have risked that. They could have been doing anything (do you have online banking, put card details in to your phone or anything?).

I don't know if it matters much what they look like.

GetOffYourHighHorse · 14/12/2020 14:06

'YABU. The way someone looks isn’t indicative of their character or behaviour'

Yes, an act of kindness is great but not after you've judged their suitability first. Also as a pp said sharing phones is not ideal in a pandemic.

snookercue · 14/12/2020 14:07

This is the problem with the world today , people are so worried about security etc.

The problem is not that people are worried, it is that people have to be worried.

snookercue · 14/12/2020 14:08

And no, I wouldn't hand a complete stranger £1k so I wouldn't hand them my phone. I would call someone for them or even give them a couple of quid for the bus fare, but my phone? No way.

NoGoodPunsLeft · 14/12/2020 14:12

@Blueroses99

I’d be more worried about data/identity theft, ‘scanning’ the phone, downloading a malicious app, calling a premium rate number and all sorts of known tricks that I don’t know about.

In an emergency I might dial a number and put it on speaker so the person could speak (they wouldn’t have any privacy but I would know that they haven’t done anything dodgy). Handing my phone over... no.

Yeah me too.I would be worried about something being done to my phone
Woohoowoowoo · 14/12/2020 14:14

Not a farts chance in hell would i hand over something that contains absolutely all of my personal and financial information, as well as photos of my kids. Nevermind the cost of it.

Do you also like to lend money to princes from abroad and have lots of mysterious relatives who you have never heard of from South America, who have died and left you millions.

Hupuy · 14/12/2020 14:15

I wouldn't be handing over my phone to anyone. Got burnt by that as a teenager and that was only a Nokia 3210 they ran off with.
If she had data to use a banking app I'd presume she had data to WhatsApp or similar to solve her problem.

nitsandwormsdodger · 14/12/2020 14:24

To think you can judge a person by their appearance is daft , many a scammer dresses smart , decent person can become scruffy - what about abuilder / mechanic

Sending money hardly seems urgent ?
Also lots of phone snatches happen at bus stops so that's another reason to keep phone away

NuniaBeeswax · 14/12/2020 14:26

"She looked genuine and well dressed so I handed it to her with no hesitation."

There are definitely no well dressed con artists out there. This is a thing that definitely doesn't exist.

ScrumptiousBears · 14/12/2020 14:27

Absolutely not.

IMNOTSHOUTING · 14/12/2020 14:28

There used to be a scam where a young, nicely dressed, well spoken woman would ask to call her mum from your phone and would actually sign you up for some stupid monthly paid subscription service that was almost impossible to get out of.

That said it's a shame we live in such a cynical world that if someone really was in trouble and needed to call home no one would help them.

Kanaloa · 14/12/2020 14:29

Well, it’s your phone so it’s not exactly unreasonable. It’s only you who has to deal with it if it gets stolen. I do think it’s a bit daft to assume you can guess if someone is likely to steal your phone just on how they are dressed.

warmandtoasty2day · 14/12/2020 14:45

tbh it is quite naive to think you can assess someone on looks in this case.

LeSangeEstDansLarbre · 14/12/2020 14:47

@IMNOTSHOUTING

There used to be a scam where a young, nicely dressed, well spoken woman would ask to call her mum from your phone and would actually sign you up for some stupid monthly paid subscription service that was almost impossible to get out of.

That said it's a shame we live in such a cynical world that if someone really was in trouble and needed to call home no one would help them.

There are still public call boxes, especially in places busy enough to have bus stops with more than one person waiting. I’d have offered some change instead.
Aquamarine1029 · 14/12/2020 14:53

My husband is a software engineer who specialises in cell phone security, and he could go on for ages as to why giving this stranger your phone was a very, very foolish thing to do.

IMNOTSHOUTING · 14/12/2020 15:11

There are still public call boxes, especially in places busy enough to have bus stops with more than one person waiting. I’d have offered some change instead.

In my local town there are plenty of bus stops and no functioning phone boxes. I can't remember the last time I saw a public phone box actually. Maybe it's just kent but they're certainly not ubiquitous. You could possibly try a pub with a landline though they might help.

warmandtoasty2day · 14/12/2020 15:16

i've not seen a phone box for yonks perhaps a year or two before the lock down.

Mustbe3ormorecharacters · 14/12/2020 15:32

I voted yanbu but I would never do it, I won’t even lend it to a friend unless they need to call someone.

Snowball2020 · 14/12/2020 15:58

From my understanding she borrowed your phone to make a call, i don’t see the harm in that Blush

Few years ago, i was leaving the hospital with my then 3 year old, we needed to call a family member but my phone had died. The hospital has zero pay phones, so I asked a lady if I could borrow her phone, she handed me her partners phone and I made the quick call.

They checked the call log (I know because she came to tell me about buses to that town). I was very grateful they didn’t mind (being pregnant and with poorly just discharged child I needed out of there after a very uncomfortable stay).