Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to see family at Christmas.

5 replies

StepintoChristmas29 · 14/12/2020 12:06

We are in Cornwall so we can meet in groups of 6
inside and out. Also if the relaxing of restrictions happens next week we can potentially see both my family and in laws.

However, I don’t want to. I’d quite like a Christmas to ourselves anyway - no one in our families will be lonely.

They don’t wake covid seriously, we really do. I suffer from anxiety and get really stressed about the virus. Our lives haven’t really changed much. We just do our own thing with the dc, walks in the country, the beach etc! Not a lot has changed like I say. Our friends take the virus pretty seriously too so we don’t really meet up with anyone and haven’t for a while.

Both my family and in laws don’t take it seriously. My family are socialising with everyone this time of year - that’s their choice but I feel they are really increasing their chances of covid. Mil and Fil aren’t too bad but their grown up children (who live at home still) socialise with so many people. Didn’t follow lockdown rules, one has recently stayed at a friends house in tier 3 for a jolly, one went abroad just before lockdown 2 and didn’t quarantine. They always have someone staying at their house from other parts of the country. They are very much like the type of family who like to visit other people and stay in their home and vice versa even during covid. Whereas we like our home comforts. Partners siblings live at home and all have boyfriends/girlfriends so assume they will spending time with their families too.

Of course, I can’t dictate what our families do as that’s their choice but I feel like I have a duty to keep my little family safe.

Would it be rude just to say we not going to visit? And we don’t want too many people here. I find it too much at the best of times let alone covid.

I’m thinking maybe just letting mil and fil over here a couple days before Christmas (tier 1 so allowed) but not partners siblings, to exchange gifts and spend time together. Or maybe we could go out for lunch somewhere in a group of 6?

As for my family, I’m not sure. Maybe I could do similar!

Aibu? Wwyd? I just feel it’s too much!

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 14/12/2020 12:07

If you don’t want to see people then don’t.

StepintoChristmas29 · 14/12/2020 12:14

Not as easy as that when our families can be hard work and guilt trip us into letting them see the children 😭 it happens every year, we want a Christmas at home but we have to make everyone else happy first 😫😫

OP posts:
yoyo1234 · 14/12/2020 12:20

Do what makes you happy. Is your anxiety likely to be less if they are not in your house? If you meet them at a restaurant and then can clean clothes etc when back in your own place would you feel better?
All this meeting lots of family members that have then met lots of others will surely take all of you out of the meeting a certain number of households rules ( use this as a reason not to see anyone if that is best for you) .

Mamamia456 · 14/12/2020 12:28

Stepintochristmas - You don't have to make everyone else happy before you, you're choosing to do that. Just say to family that you're having a quiet Christmas this year and won't be visiting. If you want to exchange presents just do a quick drop off before Christmas.

StepintoChristmas29 · 14/12/2020 12:43

@yoyo1234 I do get anxious about people in my house. I get edgy with visitors anyway mixed in with covid I’m a mess. I hate being like I am. They come over a while ago (before lockdown 2) and although it was chilly I had all the windows and doors open (that’s recommended anyway). Plus I dettoled my sofa etc. I’m a nervous wreck but they really don’t it it seriously 😭

And yes I agree, all against the rules. We have followed the rules pretty thoroughly. As in tier 1 we can meet with 6 people in and out and we also have this 3 family bubble at Christmas. Can you do both during the festive relaxing of rules. I don’t plan to myself but I know that our families will probably be visiting friends and other family, going pub with friends in groups of 6 yet can also bubble with 2 families. But if we see both my family and the in laws that’s a bubble yet they can mix with up to 6 in groups. All so confusing? Think it’s best I just stay at home!

@Mamamia456 thank you. Deep down I know that. They can just be very awkward at times. Need to start putting ourselves first.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread