To think ‘sorry’ isn’t the end of it

[MyCatsSaidNo]

Just after some opinions here. When DP has done something wrong he won’t have any issue saying sorry after an argument or before one and he thinks that once he has said sorry then that should be it.

But my view is that just because he has said sorry doesn’t mean he’s understood what the issue was and doesn’t let me voice how it affected me. I think that if he’s just saying sorry before he even knows how somethings hurt me, then surely he can’t actually be sorry!

Opinions please?

Apologies are really important and I really value them after an argument. However I also appreciate time to discuss what the issue is and come to an agreement/resolution.

So YANBU to want more than the word "sorry".

He seems to be acting like a child so I would treat him like one.

Firstly I would show him the broken plate theory (get him to smash a plate on the floor and then say sorry to it. Its still broken. Get him to glue it together...theres still cracks. Explain thats what hes doing to you.

Secondly I would treat him as I would a young child. "what are you sorry for? what did you do?" when he wrongly replies say "thats not whats bothering me" and explain what is. Take it from there.

Very much depends on the sorry.

Some people use a 'sorry' to shut you down and that makes it extremely manipulative.

Saying sorry and continuing to repeat the behaviour is also not acceptable.