What the hell would you do?

[zebrachick]

Posting in AIBU because I don't know where else to post!
I live a few doors up from a lovely family. Haven't lived here long - don't know them that well. I really like the mum. Friends with both the mum & dad on FB. He's friend requested me a few weeks ago - thought nothing of it.
The other day we were all chatting in the street (kids included) & when I got home, he'd sent me a message that said 'lovely to see you xx'
I thought it might have been her who sent it from his phone? Anyway, I didn't reply...
This eve, I've just been scrolling through a well known dating site & he's on there.
100% sure it's him.
Feel so sad for her. She's so lovely.
Obvs don't know their story & it's prob none of my business but what would YOU do?

In all honesty I'd keep well out of it and say absolutely nothing.
As for FB messages, ignore ignore ignore and he'll get the hint.
People have a horrible habit of shooting the messenger, so I'd pretend you've not spotted him online dating, but consider it a warning as to what kind of man he is so be extra careful to keep him at arms length.

I don't think I would do anything. What an arsenal he is though!

Arsehole even!

I would do nothing

"Haven't lived here long and don't know them that well" says it all really

They may have an open relationship for all you know.

Stay out of it

Also, why are you Facebook friend with people you don't know well? That always confuses men

Don't get involved, ignore his messages ect..

*me, not men 😅

I'd stay out. If you were a good friend then there might be a case for telling her but if you hardly know either of them you won't come out of it well. You don't know what their relationship is like: she may have long checked out for all you know.

I'd just ignore any contact from him and make very clear you're not open to any approaches from him.

Nothing. Maybe they have an open relationship, maybe he's a cheating bastard, maybe they're swingers, maybe she's getting her ducks in a row and is planning to leave him, maybe she has a profile on another dating site.

Thanks @Haveyoubrushedyourteeth and @AllHallowsEve14 - I will never be able to look him in the eye again I don't think. The pics on the site are blatantly him. Surely he's going to get recognised by others too?

I'd tell a close friend. I'd stay out of this one.

Thanks all. Just needed some reassurance that it's ok to do nothing I think.

As they are not close friends do nothing & ignore any messages he sends you!

Unfriend on FB immediately. Ignore the message. Don't get dragged into anything. Put it out of your mind.

Maybe they're swingers or have an open relationship. Must be hard for such folk not being able to have their orgies through lockdown.

Ignore and unfriend him now. Be polite with this family but keep your distance. You don't want any part of that eventual disaster.

Pretend you haven't seen it and distance yourself from them.

You will definitely bump into them in the future. Personally, going forward, I would find it difficult to see her and carry on as normal and act like I didn't know her husband was on a dating site. I'd feel guilty.

Ok, you don't know them well, but if the shoe was on the other foot.. wouldn't you want to know?

Could you screenshot his profile from the dating app and then create a FB account under a different name and send the dating profile screenshots to her?
That way, you're not directly getting involved, but you are giving her access to the information and she can decide what to do with it.

Tough one.

I'd not reply, then unfriend

Do nothing at all apart from unfriend the creep on FB. Ignore his messages too. Block him if necessary.

Don't get involved.