WWYD - Xmas and staying over

[TwinklyLightsForXmas]

More a WWYD than an AIBU but here goes. MIL died in the spring so first Xmas without her. We've spent the last 10 Christmases with DH's family and last year was the only one since 2009 that we'd spent Xmas morning on our own, without guests in our own home. It was bliss! We went for Xmas lunch with ILs once we'd opened presents with our little one, phoned my folks etc.

I'd like to recreate that this year but PIL is putting pressure on for us to go and stay. I'm not keen because I'd like some family time but I'm also cautious because of Covid and just don't think it's worth it to mix for a few days. I want to support DH during his first Xmas without his DM so my compromise is we go there for dinner and presents, keep our distance and come home but I can see he wants to keep his DF happy. His DB will be staying with his wife so DF won't be alone.

I really don't want to spend Jan and Feb in lockdown and feel as though we should all play our part by not mixing. AIBU? WWYD?

I’d only stay if everyone involved had isolated properly for fourteen days before, otherwise if stay home. It would be different if he was all alone but he has other guests going.

I agree with you on this one and should use Covid 19 as the reason.

I am in a dilemma too! My pil’s were sposed to be coming for Xmas from wales for the whole period, and we are in the south, but as covid rates have increased we are now thinking it’s not worth the risk as they are in their 70’s for the sake of a few days. Also my df who lives alone won’t come as doesn’t want to mix with others (he is in our support bubble). So tricky, as the Pils haven’t seen my children for a few months and are unhappy with the suggestion! I feel your pain!

Also we are unable to self isolate 14 days prior due to work. We spoke about getting private covid tests but have since read they only detect 70 percent of cases! It is hard to know what to do as we would like to see them but can’t help think it’s not worth the risk.

Isn't it the case that three households can mix?

If you are going for dinner and will presumably be there for quite a few hours then are you really at lower risk by not staying overnight? (if it was half an hour with windows open I could see less risk)

Presumably it'll still be 3 people you are meeting up with? Are any of them or you at higher exposure?

@HollowTalk

Isn't it the case that three households can mix?

Yes they can according to the rules but I'm not comfortable with staying over.

Three households can mix, but is this wise?!

@happytoday73

If you are going for dinner and will presumably be there for quite a few hours then are you really at lower risk by not staying overnight? (if it was half an hour with windows open I could see less risk)

Presumably it'll still be 3 people you are meeting up with? Are any of them or you at higher exposure?

FIL is a doctor so coming into contact with patients all the time and over 70. DH works in a school. No one is vulnerable per se but everything I've read from the scientists says we should limit contact as much as possible.

HollowTalk

Isn't it the case that three households can mix?

Just because you can doesn’t mean you should!!

I absolutely agree that just because three households can mix doesn’t mean we should. We should be mixing as little as possible. It’s ridiculous to throw the last 9 months out of the window for xmas. I agree with you and wouldn’t stay over.

Mil is desperate to stay over I don’t want her to. I haven’t seen my own family since July. She’s not distancing and is out every day with friends...I refuse to feel bad about protecting my health and that’s how to look at it.