Should there be more guidance for SAHPs re: future return to work?

[Circumlocutious]

A while ago, I spent a lot of time reading old MN threads by SAHMs wanting to return to work. A resounding sentiment was that their confidence had been massively depleted by their time away from work: everything from handling interview to even remembering what they'd done in their previous job, 5, or 10+ years ago.

I feel like there needs to more guidance on how to maintain some semblance of confidence even if you've spent years away from the workplace. I wasn't a SAHM for a huge amount of time, but even then, found myself forgetting exactly what I'd done day to day.

I feel like a standard piece of advice should be: if you're seriously thinking of not going back to work, open up a word document right now and write down an absolutely exhaustive list of everything you did in your current job, day to day - the systems you used, the processes, the different teams you collaborated with, the people you manage. Write down your achievements and success, or praise that's been offered to you. Write down demonstrable examples of when you showed collaboration, leadership, initiative, so that you're not struggling in an interview five years later. Write down (for your own personal benefit) instances of failure that you witnessed around you from your managers or colleagues, and how you handled, or would've handled, them more competently. Write that all down, because when you've been away from employment for a while, it's easy to valorise it and be intimidated by it, when mediocrity is in fact a staple part of many workplaces.

I just think a document like that would be massively helpful and a bit of a confidence boost in future job applications.

Anything else that SAHPs should be doing? Does more need to be done to keep them in the loop? (people who have spent years working already, whose education has been invested in, and who can almost certainly return to being a valuable part of the workplace in future).

I felt that total loss of confidence in the workplace after having kids, even though I kept working throughout!

My situation is probably slightly different. I was redeployed just before falling pregnant with DS1. Under a massive reorganisation, my role no longer existed and I was shifted into one that was all the rubbish parts
of my old role I hated. Three years later, under another reorganisation, I was redeployed again. Whilst pregnant with DS2. I was able to get a part time position that was perfect for childcare with two pre-schoolers. But it wasn't the role for me. It's only really now five years later, I am back doing the kind of work I am comfortable and competent at.

I've found it difficult balancing the needs of my family with my own. I couldn't go for jobs I loved because they were full time or involved working shifts. We couldn't manage the childcare costs or juggle with the commute, drop offs and pick ups. It has only really been because of covid and a fluke that I now have my dream job WFH. When I applied for it, I was fully expecting a long commute and DH and I just accepted we would bite the bullet.

I'm probably not explaining myself very well. I have been working my entire 30s, but I still feel like I wasn't really working.

I had mat leave and went back after a year and found it very difficult. Must be very hard after a career break. My usual advice is don't step off the merry go round completely, it's very hard to get back on.

Look into 'child friendly' job descriptions well In advance if you're hoping for a career change - a lot of jobs that fit around children require specific skills and qualifications and don't assume being over qualified will push you to the front of the queue - eg as a qualified teacher I couldn't get interviews for playgroup or teaching assistant jobs as I didn't have the required nvq. Being a sahp can be a good time to do some extra training .
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Also voluntary work has lots of benefits but employers can't tell really how useful you were with it - it's hard to 'prove' if you were committing hours to organising events and meetings or just turning up once a term to man a cake stall etc... I found once I was in paid employment I was more employable. I think there are some real preconceived ideas about pta etc to employers.

Keep up your CPD, look at training, webinars and just keeping up with news and developments.

Number 1 - before having kids at all make sure their Dad is 100% on board with being equally responsible for arranging childcare, taking days off when kids are ill, dealing with school holidays.

I was a sahm for 10 years. I loved it and wouldn’t necessarily change what I did, but I would advise any new mother to think very carefully before making the decision.

I didn’t think I would be home for quite so long or anticipate how difficult it would be getting back into work. Even now, when I am relatively well respected in my career, I have been advised to gloss over questions about previous roles and not to mention that I was previously a sahm and very few people are aware of this part of my life.

I previously believed that one person in the relationship had to ‘step back’ to allow the other to focus fully on their career to achieve the maximum benefit. I now realise that this is absolute bullshit and if both parents pull their weight in every sense, including being on equal call for children’s illness, night wakings, home admin, they can both continue their careers and still progress equally. The myth of ‘I couldn’t do what I do if my wife wasn’t there to deal with the children’ followed by a patronising smile, is still strong. And I say that having a wonderful husband who did appreciate everything I did, but now understands that it isn’t unreasonable to do your job but still have to pull your weight at home (as many people, single and married, do everyday).

Volunteer work is a great way to help with confidence issues AND have something on your CV if you're able to do it.

Keep up up date with technology and make sure you can use pc packages like email, word, exec - try and incorporate pc use in your everyday life eg using excel for shopping lists, word writing letters.

Ensure you understand key issues facing modern workplaces eg diversity and mental well-being are pretty high in the agenda.

Volunteer or try and find ad hoc paid opportunities to keep your foot in the door of employment.

Keep an eye out on the job market for the types of roles that you may eventually be interested in and look for the skills and qualifications employers are asking for, so you can find ways to develop skills in these areas.

Apply for the occasional job and go for interviews so you can get feedback. There is an art to interviewing well and it does normally become easier one you have a few under your belt.

Attend webinars, watch you tube tutorials and read up on skills. Employers are now looking for more than just technical skills so they will ask questions about communication and teamwork.