To cancel Christmas lunch?

[GivenchyDahhling]

Christmas lunch plans were, originally, myself, DH, DS hosting and joined by DMiL and DBiL (three households). Turkey on order from M&S, nice bottle of champagne, take the dog for a walk in the afternoon. No problems.

Before Christmas plans had been confirmed, we had mooted the idea of going to a really nice - albeit pricey - hotel for their set Christmas lunch. However, when I enquired (I think back in October) they were fully booked but automatically put us on the waiting list. I got an email on Tuesday saying space was available if we wanted it, we discussed and decided yes, it would be a nice treat after this year and we could have the turkey at another point over the festive period.

They asked for menu choices and full payment (circa £600) upfront. I was a bit about this on the basis that we are in an area that may well be going into tier 3 next week and I therefore requested to pay a (substantial) deposit with the full balance on the 16th so I wasn’t having to wait for a full refund just before Christmas. The main motivation for this was the fact that DMiL can be a bit difficult about money and I didn’t want the flak for any delay about the return of her share. They said no, full payment needed, we decided to take the risk.

I went to pay today and I am not exaggerating to say there were around 30 people crammed into a relatively small reception area. There were two queues - a restaurant/afternoon tea queue, and a check in queue. I joined the restaurant queue, waited 15 minutes with husband and DS sleeping in the car, only to be told in a rude and unapologetic manner that I had joined the wrong queue and to get to the back of the long and slower moving check in desk queue. I said something along the lines of “are you serious?” and the host just shrugged at me. So I contacted the events organiser and have cancelled and gone back to Plan A. DH agrees with me, DMiL is not bothered (and thought it was too pricey anyway), but DBiL is really annoyed.

My view is, it’s a lot of money, it should have been better organised, and they should have made some attempt to be more helpful. I think part of it is when I spend a lot of money I have high expectations and so if they were this disorganised beforehand, I worry that the meal itself would be disappointing. I suspect DBiL thinks I’m cutting off my nose to spite my face.

AIBU?

I'd have cancelled as well as I'd also be worried about being disappointed.

If they can’t even manage a couple of queues efficiently, I don’t expect they’ll cope well with a Christmas Day dinner service.

If it’s that much of a shitshow when trying to prepay then lord knows what the actual day would be like. Absolutely within your rights to cancel - it’s your day too. BIL can always go by himself if he’s that bothered. Probably scared he will have to muck in and help out with cooking / washing up if you are hosting

I would not only cancel, I would report them for not having a socially distanced reception space. We can’t get this thing under control unless places take it seriously.

If you're spending £600 on a meal for 5 people... Yes, you should expect FAR better service. They could easily have taken your payment then and there surely or a the very least apologised profusely. It's called good customer service.

I would have called BIL and MIl before cancelling out of courtesy, but I understand why you did it.

@GlowingOrb Pure speculation on my part, but they were making no effort to check the household mixing rules either - there was a group of 4 in front of me taken through for afternoon tea with presents etc in hand for each other who very much seemed like friends getting together for a Christmas treat - and this place does not have an outdoor seating area.

YANBU. I literally wouldn’t trust them with my life e.g. proper Covid safety measures, food safety, spacing, etc if they can’t handle two lines. They also could’ve just taken the payments online instead of forcing people to pay in person. They’re not ready for prime time and they’re not ready to take your money. You dodged a bullet there.

YANBU
It's a lot of money, circumstances are far from certain, MIL sounds like she'd never pay you back, I'd save your money for a family weekend away instead at a better time.

Christmas at restaurants are generally disappointing and no leftovers! In the end it will be for the best.

I can't imagine sitting in a restaurant with lots of other people right now is in the slightest bit enjoyable.

If they can't manage 2 queues efficiently and safely then the restaurant area is unlikely to be any better.

I'm in a tier 2 area right now and also expecting to be tier 3 soon. The level of Coronavirus cases around us us extremely worrying. I can't wait for the Christmas break to just stay home.

Yanbu. Also I thought that you weren't allowed to visit hospitality venues with your Christmas bubble anyway? So you could just say that to DBiL if he's being difficult?

@Pipandmum I tend to agree; along with everything else I think this is why I was quite quick to cancel as it wasn’t like I was fully invested in eating out anyway and we already have the food on order so it’s not like it leaves us stuck.

@ChalkDinosaur Oh really? I actually didn’t know this, and I have been a real stickler for trying to follow the rules so in that case I definitely wouldn’t have gone for the meal.

I would. It cannot be good enough for £600 anyway. Surely you would be sat there thinking "I could of done this and saved £500"?

Well, he can a book a table for one if he prefers.

Why give a shit that he's annoyed?

If he's so bothered he can go and stand in the feckin' queue!!

Fuck that!

I agree with your reasons. But you've made a decision for everybody without consulting them. I'd be pretty pissed off with that.

Yeah, I get that @Nottherealslimshady - I was just so annoyed so typed out the email immediately to get it off of my chest (whilst DH was simultaneously on the phone to DMiL explaining, not that it would probably have stopped me). But yes; I think there was a lack of courtesy on my part in that regard - although certainly DH, DS and myself wouldn’t have been going irrespective of their response.

I’m staggered they couldn’t accept payment online or over the phone. It sounds a massively disorganised virus spreading place so no, YANBU.

Tell BIL if he's that bothered he can go there on his own

Sounds awful. I’d definitely cancel.

Surely this wouldn’t be possible anyway, as Christmas bubbles only apply to eating in the house, not in restaurants?

You cannot meet your Christmas bubble indoors in a:
• pub
• hotel • shop • theatre
restaurant

Unless you’re not in the UK?

YANBU. Sounds like a shit show. For what it's worth though, I'm not sure a private organisation can be expected to police people's inability to understand the rules. Our local church has reiterated and reiterated that you can't meet indoors including places of worship and people still do. The vicar can't check the addresses of everyone on arrival. I imagine it's worse for restaurants.

Do you not realise that even though 3 households are allowed to mix in a private house over Christmas they are not allowed to mix in a hospitality setting? So you are breaking the rules by even attempting to do this.