To really struggle with job interviews

[nervesgotthebetterofme]

Yesterday I had the worst interview experience. I am a recent graduate and it was my first interview for a graduate role and I was terrible. I had done plenty of research ahead of time into the company and its values, all the elements of the role and all the technical and nitty gritty aspects of the role. My experience matched perfectly to the job specification and I know from a similar previous experience that it's a role I would do really well in.

I felt pretty calm at the start of the interview whilst introducing myself. Then as soon as the first question was asked it felt like I was having an out of body experience. I just went onto complete autopilot and rambled on and on. My answers were completely incoherent. It was a remote interview so I had a few bullet point notes in front of me for the questions being asked and I still couldn't answer coherently. The questions were easy and straightforward as well that I had practiced answering over and over again.

I don't know how to get better. I know logically all the things to do - breathe, take a moment before answering, etc. Yet in the moment it all falls by the wayside. I thought I had grown out of my social anxiety as I have been able to give presentations to large audiences and have had examiners grill me afterwards with tough questions and coped fine. Yet a simple interview completely throws me.

I bet you'll be great with the next one, or you might not have been as bad as you think. They will understand that you are nervous. Be

I know exactly how you feel OP. The short answer is (unfortunately) it just takes practice. If you're applying for corporate type graduate roles they tend to ask similar style questions and you'll just get a feel for it and feel more prepared each time.

A really good method for structuring your answers is using the STAR method. Situation, task, action, result. (Google it for a better explanation). That can help keep you grounded to the question and not go off on a ramble, which I have a habit of doing! Especially useful if you expect 'tell me about a situation when....' type questions that you can prepare in advance.

Don't be afraid to clarify questions either, if they ask something obscure I often ask a clarifying question which helps to dig down to what they are really asking me. Then I answer that instead of the original odd question.

I know it's easier said than done, I absolutely hate them. Good luck OP!

Hi OP, agreed with pp advice..

To add to that, it really helps to practise your answers out loud. Repeat them to yourself, in the car, walking around the house, while trying to get to sleep, pretend you're talking to the interviewer. Mutter those answers out loud. Then if you freeze up, the words will come more naturally.

Good luck 😃🤞

I think remote interviews are tougher than face to face as you can’t catch people’s eyes and so there don’t seem to be natural conversation breaks that you would have in real life. It’s then quite easy to ramble on or deliver a monologue. Also remember an interview is a two way conversation and you might have just not had a very good interviewer. It really does get better with practice though so keep going - you might find the next one, with a different interviewer, will be a completely different experience.

I do this too, after working for 40 years, I just cannot control the adrenalin so I take beta blockers before interviews. It is the only way I can function.

oh crap, that's too bad OP.
I find video cons more nerve-racking than in-person events, too.

I suspect the secret to overcoming this is in practice for most of us. Also going in grumpy, like you can barely tolerate being there. Being grumpy takes the edge off my nerves.

Im the same, im terrible at job interviews, the job im in at the moment, i wss temping for 3 months, so they just offered me a job!

I used to be exactly the same as you OP I’d just find myself panicking so much I’d go off on rambling tangents and then forget the question What worked for me was ensuring I had a list of succinct examples that illustrated the skills each likely question required and then rehearsing them over and over until they stuck in my brain. This book was also invaluable - Why You?: 101 Interview Questions You'll Never Fear Again www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00L3SYV3A/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_qGn1FbZX1YW5G?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

It should have been the perfect interview really. The interviewer came across as really friendly and warm and the questions were simple and just what I had prepared for. Yet, like a PP said, the adrenaline just took over.

I am wondering if it is something my GP can help with. I think I do have generalised anxiety anyway so have thought about going to my GP about my anxiety anyway.

I think it’s very normal to feel that way. Job interviews are high pressure situations and it’s hard to sell yourself when you aren’t relaxed.

Sorry to say I don’t have much practical advice except come prepared with a few examples you could apply to genetic questions (how you work well in a team, to deadlines, building relationships etc) but it sounds like you already did that.

All I can say is that they do get easier. I used to be very nervous and rambling in interviews and then when I was unemployed I mustve had about 10 of them over 2 months, and by the end I felt much more relaxed and my answers became more like a script as I’d said variants of the same thing so many times.

Also I think as you progress in your career, interviews become a bit more evenly matched. When you first start out you’re trying to get your foot in the door, there are lots of other junior applicants with the same experience and background as you and it feels more like the employer has the advantage as they have a wide pool to choose from so you have to battle harder to demonstrate that you’re the best candidate.

But as you advance and become more experienced/skilled you become more relaxed and confident talking about your skills, you have more practical examples to share, and also the employer needs to woo you as much as you them because there are less candidates with your experience than at junior level, so it feels more like you’re evenly matched rather than just you doing the heavy lifting.

Keep going, try to think of it as a mutually beneficial conversation rather than an interview and remember that every interview is good experience even if you don’t get the outcome you wanted.

I wanted a job in a particular field and did voluntary work for a year after being told it was obvious l had mo experience. Every interview seemed to go well but it was always thanks but no thanks. Then a job came up and l decided to give it one more bash - nearly didn't bother as l didn't want to get my hopes up but as it turned out, l got it. After a year of interviews, l had a good idea of the type of questions they would ask and what answers they were looking for . Not saying it takes that long for everyone but interview practise definitely helped and now l look back and think all the other companies that turned me down might not have been the right one for me because where l am now is perfect.

Oh my god, I'm exactly the same.

How I've ever got a job is nuts. I do the same as you. Words just fly out of my mouth, or I literally cannot speak.

I've ended every interview with "I'm so sorry. I'm awful at interviews. I get so nervous, but I'm actually a good worker I promise" 😂😂. I've somehow got nearly every job I've applied for!

You never know.
Watching for advice on how to actually carry out a good interview!

A trick that I learned is to channel the feeling of anxiety into something else.

So, say you get that initial rush of adrenaline. That physical sensation is, at an atomic level, purely energy, and you can turn turn it into whatever feeling you want. You're used to feeling anxious when you get that rush of adrenaline because that's what you associate it with. Instead, feel the adrenaline, know it is energy to use at your disposal and say to yourself 'this is excitement! this is power! this is confidence!'.

When I do that I find that I can actually enjoy the interview and project something across to the interviewer - some sort of confidence or capability - that they seem to pick up on.

I still get dreadful diarrhea beforehand though

Keep going OP.

I walked out of a graduate interview, yes, literally left in the middle, snatching up my handbag half way through. I was flummoxed and felt out of my depth.

BUT I did a few more and, in part I got more relaxed with experience and in part, I found somewhere that I felt comfortable.

I am now pretty successful (don't mean that in a boastful way at all). In my last job, I was Director level managing 700+ people. You can and will be able to do this.

I interview fairly regularly. When I can tell someone is nervous, it doesn’t put me off at all. It makes me warm to the person a little actually and I don’t think the person lacks confidence generally, just that the situation is stressful.

The remote interviews are horrible too, but if you manage to log in on time, don’t disappear at any point and manage to position your camera at a fairly decent angle - then you are already ahead of the game compared to many interviewees at the moment

Op its not easy. I got feedback that I came across nervous but I think maybe more experience and learn from it. I temp so at least I just show up so no interview!! But not easy as we know. I seem to freeze if a few people are interviewing me

@foreverinaday well done on your success

OP i totally understand. I'm in my 40s and interviewing has never been easy for me. The out of body feeling is all too familiar and the panic and waffle.
What I have learnt is, take your time, have notes with you, have a sip of water if offered and I agree with PP who says see if you can channel the adrenaline into something else like excitement.
I've interviewed many people and always warm to the nervous ones rather than the cocky ones too.
I also find video interviews easier, you do it from home, there's no added pressure of travel, getting lost, delays etc and that element of removal just works for me. My last job interview was via Teams and although I don't think I got it, I did feel happy with how I'd done.

Don't use your phone for a video interview, just imagine it starts buzzing with calls & texts! Didn't happen to me but I realised I only just dodged that bullet.

You can take propranolol for situational anxiety. You can buy it (legally!) from online pharmacies. It’s very safe and very effective. I always take a full dose before a big interview or presentation and it improves my performance 100%. If you want to try this, I would suggest taking a dose at a time when you don’t have to perform, so you can find out whether you get any side effects. I don’t and I think it’s wonderful stuff. My GP is aware and confirmed that it is safe and appropriate for the circumstance. www.theindependentpharmacy.co.uk/ad/anxiety-1?gclid=CjwKCAiAlNf-BRB_EiwA2osbxc4HjQpAJVs8ralffa0mf-33wrIzyD2SGZu5sHtMtMOoVuZ91QropxoCX-QQAvD_BwE