To not want to feel tense ALL the time?

[WhatAreWordsWorth]

Like many of us I imagine, 2020 has taken a huge toll on my mental and physical health. I WFH and I do have a decent desk set-up (proper desk, chair, laptop at eye level etc) but recently my neck and shoulders are killing me. I get so tense and end up hunched over at my desk all day. I actually woke up a few weeks ago and could barely turn my head at all.

I’ve been for a couple of private physio sessions and they’ve given me some stretches/breathing exercises to do, which I am doing. They said I’m very tense and need to remind myself throughout the day to relax my jaw, lower my shoulders etc.

I also went for a spa massage yesterday which was amazing but oh my god my back has so many knots it felt like bubble wrap. The therapist said she could tell I’m extremely tense and I wouldn’t fully ‘flop’ and just relax.

Straight after the massage I started to feel more tense again. It’s like my head, neck and shoulders are a big ball of tension and being tense has become my ‘natural’ state, if that makes sense?

Has anyone else had this and if so, how did you overcome it. I feel like no matter what I do and how many times I remind myself to relax, 2 minutes later I’m tense again.

Yoga a couple of times a week and daily meditation, even if it’s just 5 minutes.
There are still sometimes days I wake up and my shoulders are up at my ears but day to day I do generally feel less tense and have less pain.

play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.simplehabit.simplehabitapp&hl=en_GB&gl=US

Shaki mat or similar

If it's overall tension a technique used in CBT for generalised anxiety might be helpful, it teaches you to relax your body. If you search 'progressive muscle relaxation nhs' on YouTube

When I go through phases of this its because something is going on subconsciously. Is there anything you've been avoiding addressing?

I get the same, my shoulder muscles feel like a tennis racket strings.

I have ongoing upper back issues and for me it’s all posture. It started when I was pumping frequently for my twins and hunching a lot and now it’s self perpetuating. I’ve had physio, Pilates helps and one of those back strap things that pulls your shoulders back into the right position helps a bit when worn for short periods. I feel your pain as it can be excruciating- I have twins who are 4 and both disabled and it’s all the lifting that really messes mine up. It’s been so much better since they started school recently but I know by Christmas Day I’ll be in a lot of pain.

I have this I do 10/20 mins of pilates everyday and 40/50 mins a couple of times a week to keep lose and relaxed. I really noticevif I dont do it. There are loads of short pilates/yoga/stretch routines on YouTube I'd give a few a try and see what suits you.

@WhatAreWordsWorth
Hi OP! Have you tried using a stand up desk? It helped my DH immensely. We didn't even buy a new desk...we just used some wood to raise his work surface.
They are all the rage now...you'd think you'd get tired of standing whilst working at your desk but DH has found that it helps his posture and he doesn't tense up his shoulders. Also a mirror in front of you on the wall that you check your posture periodically...I do this regularly and am amazed at how many times my shoulders are hunched up around my ears....even when I'm brushing my teeth!!!

Swimming, regular sports massages and standing up to work are what helps me most.

You could try a warm aromatherapy bath with low lighting or candles, and relaxing music. Try to have one every day for a week and really switch off.

I'm the same. Recently work has really started to take it's toll and i feel like I'm in a permanent sense of tension and not even breathing properly if that makes sense. Now having lots of GI issues that I'm sure are being made worse by stress.
I was doing yoga 2 times a week but since the lockdown and then going into tier 3 i haven't been able to go. It's just not the same at home with the kids and dogs running round being noisy. I've definitely found I'm not coping as well since i stopped doing yoga so if you are able to do some OP I would highly recommend it.

Muscular tension can sometimes be an attempt by the body to support and stabilise a weaker area. As well as stretching and relaxation , try working on your core stability and back strengthening exercises l, as this may help to stabilise the upper body.

Ps try yoga with Adriene on YouTube : search for neck and upper back - she has some lovely short practices .

@GoldfishParade

When I go through phases of this its because something is going on subconsciously. Is there anything you've been avoiding addressing?

Yes I agree with this.

Aside from the obvious shitstorm, is there anything wrong that you are not admitting to yourself?

I found myself having intense jaw pain a few months ago.. It was so bad that I was unable to speak. My hands and chest started hurting too. After multiple tests, it turned out to be because of stress. Yoga is the only thing that gets me through the day. The days I don't do yoga...I get the pain. Highly recommend starting a yoga practice... It will work wonders. ( I am not a yoga teacher or own a yoga studio... Just a convert)

Wow thanks for all the answers and ideas!

I downloaded a yoga app for my phone which I’ve been using but only for maybe 10-15 mins a day. I’ll try to do a bit more, and the physio did recommend Pilates so I’ll give that a go too.

I’d love to have a bath, I’ve been craving one recently but we’re yet to put a bath in our new house. Fingers crossed for next year!

To the pp who suggested a standing desk, DH has one and he loves it. I might ask him if we can swap a couple of days a week or something, just to give me a break.

To pp suggesting that it might be a subconscious issue, that could be right in some ways. I’m ok generally but I do get quite anxious. I’m very unhappy at work, and I think spending so much time at my desk and working from home is making it worse. I really want to find a new job in 2021, which will be difficult in the current climate.