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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be disappointed, should I email again?

46 replies

Nellytheele · 12/12/2020 09:21

Booked a Santa's grotto visit for my daughter and my nephew at a local venue at £10 per child. Each time slot is 15 mins. I booked my daughter for one slot and my nephew and sister in law for the slot after.

The local venue is run by a charity and rely on donations to keep going. We visit regularly and always donate/use the cafe/ buy the products on our visit, especially this year we have been alot as there hasn't been much open for my daughter to enjoy.

Anyway we arrived at the venue about 15mins early and there were no other people. Another family came and we just waiting around. A member of staff came out and said the grotto will be open soon so whoever had the first time slot please go to the front of the queue. I had booked the first slot and the one after but the other family that was there had stated they had booked the same time, 2 mins later another famil showed up to say they had also booked the same slot time. The member of staff was a bit flustered and said it's fine just stand in the queue.

So one of the other family's went first, while they were in, there was anothsr member of staff stood at the entrance and she turned to my nephew and said "you must be (enter wrong name here)" I said that's not his name and told her his actual name. She told us we weren't on the list, neither was my daughter but I showed our booking and the lady went off into another room. She came back and said that's fine we'll fit you both in no problem.

So it was our turn to go in and she sent both me and sis in law at the same time, which is fine but I'd originally booked 2 slots. Santa was very quiet, didn't talk much and the whole thing felt very awkward. My daughter enjoyed though and answered the questions Santa asked her. Someone came by to drop 2 presents off, because my nephew and daughter weren't on the list, their presents weren't in the sack. Santa gave the presents and sent us on our way. We were in there for about 5 mins. I thought it was pretty rubbish but my daughter was happy that she'd seen Santa so I was satisfied. Returning home my daughter opened the gift she received and it was a game that was not suitable for her age. She is 2.5 and the game was for 4+. The game was tiddly winks, so a choking hazard and she still likes to put things in her mouth at the moment (mostly just to annoy me I think) but I couldn't really let her keep this game as I'm paranoid about these things anyway. So after she went to bed I hid the game and planning to give away, but she woke up asking about it and crying because she couldn't find it.
When you book you have to state name, age and gender so they can give an appropriate gift from Santa. I know they missed our booking but they obviously quickly wrapped 2 gifts, they can see my daughter is nowhere near 4. Although my nephew's gift was suitable, he's 3.

I emailed the venue explaining everything and how I'm disappointed but mostly about the gift. £10 per child for 15 mins each, yet we got 5 mins together, they missed our booking and a toy that was technically dangerous for my child. If it was just the one issue I wouldn't bother saying anything, but the whole thing was a shambles.

They haven't replied to my email, so do I email again or wait? It's been 2 days.
Or do I just forget the whole thing and accept it was a mistake.
I just feel a bit annoyed but alot of things have gone wrong the last few days so I think I'm just feeling a bit touchy..

OP posts:
Purplewithred · 12/12/2020 09:24

If you didn't get a reply to the first email you probably won't to a second. Can you phone them? I do think it was pretty poor and they ought to know how badly it was managed, but as it's a charity I wouldn't ask for my money back.

TableCat · 12/12/2020 09:24

It is disappointing but I think, as it is a charity thing and your daughter is happy, I would probably let it go.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 12/12/2020 09:24

I would pursue it, but I wouldn’t email again yet. I’d want a refund, but not to go back. I think that’s Santa done for this year so there’s no urgency.

Swingometer · 12/12/2020 09:25

I would just let it go

These people are presumably volunteers and were doing their best

Your daughter enjoyed it and is too young to remember about the toy

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 12/12/2020 09:26

Forget it, move on , your DD was happy, it’s for a charity & it sounds like they tried their best.

arethereanyleftatall · 12/12/2020 09:28

I would just let it go.
The mistake was only somewhere in the admin of the booking. After that they just tried to fix it.

Original poster
Nellytheele · 12/12/2020 09:28

If they replied or even apologised I would've been happy. My daughter loves going to the venue throughout the year anyway and I wasn't originally worried about the money back, but it's annoyed me that they haven't even replied. They were quick enough replying when I booked (you have to book through email). But even on the night they didn't apologise triple booking a slot or missing our booking.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 12/12/2020 09:32

I think the fact this is a charity changes this Also. The people were volunteers and they tried to manage it. Yes it wasn’t great but your kid saw Santa and were happy. There is no reason you can’t play tiddlywinks with your daughter when you’re there. Then remove it when not.

Clymene · 12/12/2020 09:33

It's staffed by volunteers and this is a money raising exercise, like a charity donation.

Let it go.

trevthecat · 12/12/2020 09:34

Do they have social media? I would message on there if so

Eleganz · 12/12/2020 09:35

YABU to complain about the experience as your daughter enjoyed it even if it was shambolic.

YANBU to complain about the age appropriateness of gifts.

Mycircusmymonkey · 12/12/2020 09:37

I would let it go. Apart from the booking mix up it sounds like every Santa’s grotto experience I’ve ever taken my kids to. Overpriced, rubbish gift! 15 minutes would be a really long time to sit with Santa too what else is there to say other than have you been good? What would you like for Xmas?

ivfbeenbusy · 12/12/2020 09:37

Most companies won't respond in 2 days - most state up to 5 working days (or longer with lots of people on part time furlough at the moment) so I think you're being unreasonable to expect an instant reply

Santa grottos are always crap in adults eyes and expensive for what they are. I also find the gifts are pitched a bit higher than the age you state which is better because at least it won't be too babyish for them straight away

15 mins is also a bit of an over expectation - I don't know any that last more than 5 minutes - you go in have a chat get the photo and present and leave so I think you're expectations are waaaaaaaay too high

The mix up with rebooking is frustration but it happens

I think this is a case of you building this up far too much than your daughter actually being disappointed - which you said she wasn't?

Nishky · 12/12/2020 09:37

I agree with bluntness - play the game with her a couple of times, put it away - she may well get bored of it- then she can play it when she’s older

It’s a charity is the key point here

Original poster
Nellytheele · 12/12/2020 09:40

@Bluntness100 I agree, I can play it with my daughter but the first night I tried she got so frustrated at not being able to get the counters to shoot properly. I'll just try and think of a way to play with it. She hasn't mentioned the game today yet, so maybe she's forgotten.

OP posts:
CatholicKidston · 12/12/2020 09:41

@Mycircusmymonkey

I would let it go. Apart from the booking mix up it sounds like every Santa’s grotto experience I’ve ever taken my kids to. Overpriced, rubbish gift! 15 minutes would be a really long time to sit with Santa too what else is there to say other than have you been good? What would you like for Xmas?
Agreed. What did you actually expect to spend 15 minutes doing OP?
KatieGGGG · 12/12/2020 09:44

2 days isn’t long at all. Don’t follow up.

This doesn’t sound too different to most grottos OP, overpriced tat but your daughter enjoyed it which is all that matters.

Play the game with her a couple of times so no choking hazard then put away.

See it as you donating to a charity with the side “bonus” of the grotto and it will grate less.

Original poster
Nellytheele · 12/12/2020 09:47

@ivfbeenbusy the expectations I have are from the grotto we usually visit which is cancelled this year due to covid, but that one the slot is 20 mins. The Santa is very chatty, great with kids, he tells them a short funny story about his reindeer and really engages with the kids no matter their age. That one usually costs £12 and my daughter still has the book gift that Santa gave her last year. So maybe they have set the standards really high and all other ones will not compare to that particular one. From now on if we can't book the usual one, I'll try to remember not to expect so much. I mean all I expected was my booking to be there, an age suitable toy/gift and a Santa that actually spoke to the kids. Like I said it was awkward and I had to talk a couple of times to break the silence.

Anyway it's a charity, and hopefully the money will help towards the running of the venue. I'll forget about it and hopefully next year our regular grotto will be able to open Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Nellytheele · 12/12/2020 09:50

@CatholicKidston my previous comment explains.

I guess I had high expectations, but I probably shouldn't have. I've not really been to any other grottos as I only have one child so not really been to a grotto for many many years, the first one I went to with my daughter was amazing and I guess I just expected that. I guess I've been a bit stupid in that sense and know now not to expect so much

OP posts:
PurBal · 12/12/2020 09:58

Charities are notoriously understaffed and if they're trying to run a grotto they're probably inundated. I don't know when you visited / emailed but I wouldn't expect a reply in 2020.

emilyfrost · 12/12/2020 10:05

I know they missed our booking but they obviously quickly wrapped 2 gifts, they can see my daughter is nowhere near 4.

It’s actually much more likely they already had wrapped gifts and randomly picked those two; it was just luck your nephew’s was age appropriate.

Two days is a very short period of time to expect a reply, particularly in covid times and particularly at Christmas, even more so considering it’s a charity that will mostly be staffed by volunteers.

Your daughter enjoyed it and she’ll forget about the toy soon enough, so I’d just let it go.

viques · 12/12/2020 10:17

[quote Nellytheele]@CatholicKidston my previous comment explains.

I guess I had high expectations, but I probably shouldn't have. I've not really been to any other grottos as I only have one child so not really been to a grotto for many many years, the first one I went to with my daughter was amazing and I guess I just expected that. I guess I've been a bit stupid in that sense and know now not to expect so much[/quote]
I think that’s the problem, your expectations versus your daughters experience.

She enjoyed it, she saw FC, she got a present, and had the fun of unwrapping it. That’s what she will remember. I expect you took some photos so she will be able to look back on the visit and remember it.

She is three, this is probably the first Christmas where any of it is making any sense at all to her. See it through her eyes. Her expectations have been met. I am glad you have managed to give her this memory, don’t spoil it for yourself by getting antsy with the organisers who clearly messed up but tried to rectify the situation.

catchyjem · 12/12/2020 10:22

I've been to a lot of different Santa's grottos over the years and they vary enormously. Some are excellent, have a really engaging Santa, nice gifts etc . Some are frankly a bit naff, have a teenager in costume that doesn't know what to say and gives an awful bit of tat gift. However, the one thing they all do is make the kids happy. My kids have never come out of a meeting with Santa unhappy and that's the main thing. I honestly would let it go. Next year is bound to be better.

mathanxiety · 12/12/2020 10:22

www.today.com/parents/kids-scared-santa-15-photos-hilarious-ho-ho-horror-1D80366020

It could have been a lot worse...

BabyLlamaZen · 12/12/2020 10:32

Wow people are being harsh. I've worked for charities op and yes there are issues but you've had a lot of issues here. I think you've done all you can for now. I agree with going via social media instead and then see what happens. And tbh I probably wouldn't go again.