Page 6 | To think 2021 isn't going to be the amazing year we all want...

Skyshale · 2020-12-12T03:40:00+00:00

...or am I being massively pessimistic? Everyone is going on about next year, saying it will be amazing and that we can all travel again, see family and be as normal. But the virus isn't going to think "Oh, look, the clock has struck 12 on New Years Day. I'm gone now...BYE EVERYONE forget I ever existed". AIBU to think 2021 isn't going to be the amazing year we all imagined? Can I just say (I've had a few wines and my thoughts are running away with me) I would LOVE 2021 to be an amazing, incredible year for us all but a horrible dark side of me thinks it ain't going to happen...

Lalliella · 12/12/2020 09:54

2021 will be shit. A third wave, another lockdown and a no deal Brexit. What’s the point in being optimistic? May as well expect the worst then we won’t be disappointed.

macaroniinapot · 12/12/2020 10:08

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it”.

There’s no harm in being optimistic at all. And no prizes for being pessimistic and proven right.

Some people are having the worst time of their lives, having lost relatives, jobs etc. If some are able to enjoy themselves and find silver linings, that can only be a good thing.

Collective misery won’t get us out of this faster or make the suffering of others any less.

kittensarecute · 12/12/2020 10:14

If it's not getting better by April, I may as well not be here. I've already started self harming and come very close to suicide on more than one occasion. I can't live like this much longer.

rc22 · 12/12/2020 10:31

@kittensarecute please contact your GP if you haven't done so already.

GoldenOmber · 12/12/2020 10:32

@kittensarecute

If it's not getting better by April, I may as well not be here. I've already started self harming and come very close to suicide on more than one occasion. I can't live like this much longer.

They will. A significant number of people BBC will be vaccinated by April, which means things will be able to get a lot closer back to normal. Nobody can say exactly how much closer by when, but the doom-and-gloom guessers don’t have more information than you do, they’re just people who use pessimism as a coping mechanism.

Various people on Mumsnet also thought the spring lockdown would go on for a year or more, schools wouldn’t reopen until January at least, there wouldn’t be a vaccine for five years if ever...

onedayinthefuture · 12/12/2020 10:33

@kittensarecute

If it's not getting better by April, I may as well not be here. I've already started self harming and come very close to suicide on more than one occasion. I can't live like this much longer.

I need to take my own advice and I intend to delete the mumsnet app, but please don't read the posts on here as they will make you feel worse. It will get better, it has to. I think a lot of people have it in their minds it will be over by spring and from then, majority will take their chances. It's no ones fault if the NHS can't cope. No one should be made to feel guilty about Mother Nature doing it's thing. There is already a vaccine and there will be others, I have faith in the people organising and administering it. As an aside my elderly overweight uncle with diabetes caught Covid, it was like any other virus for him and he's now better.

Simplyunacceptable · 12/12/2020 10:35

It will be pretty crap. Looking more likely we’re crashing out of the EU without a deal, nice one. Still living under a Tory government so always darker when that’s the case. Covid will have financial repercussions for years, Brexit will too. Pretty doom and gloom tbh.

BiBabbles · 12/12/2020 10:35

Sure, for most people, 2021 won't be an 'amazing year'. It'll be just another year of ups and downs, of joys tempered by suffering, pain soothed by happiness. That's life. We have to find our own meaning and interests in the difficulities.

For some people, it will be an amazing year, a year of relief, a year of first love or getting their dream home or career or many other amazing things. The pains will be small bumps along the way.

For some people, it will be awful year of loss and pain, over and over, grinding them down. What joys there are will barely be able to scratch the surface of the hurt.

2020 hasn't been the worst year ever for everyone. People have dealt with deaths, isolation, loneliness, distance from loved ones, lack of access, inability to do what they want for reasons outside of their control and misery before. It hasn't been my worst year by far. It's been a weird year, but it's mainly been one of ups and downs, of things turning out a better than I was expecting and new opportunities tempered by isolation and severe bouts of CPTSD -- but I had the latter for years before this. Loneliness was at epidemic levels before COVID.

We might be able to talk about some of these issues a bit more now, but they aren't going to go away once things 'go back to normal', whenever that is. If people want to look to the future with hope and work towards things being better, I see no reason to dissuade them just because there will still be issues in spring. There will always still be issues, we make things better by working together on them, knowing there will be set backs and pain along the way.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 12/12/2020 10:35

But the virus isn't going to think "Oh, look, the clock has struck 12 on New Years Day. I'm gone now...BYE EVERYONE forget I ever existed

Exactly. Just like it didn’t stay out of schools or isn’t going to stop infecting people for five days over Christmas.

The vaccine being rolled out though is a slither of light and hope but after all the mixing and then everyone going back into school and work i can’t see anything for a third peak to start 2021.

Imissmoominmama · 12/12/2020 10:39

@kittensarecute, please get some help. You feel like this now (and I know because I have planned my own death in the past), but there are ways of feeling joy again. For me, I needed ADs- I still need them and I’m not ashamed of that. Now I can feel again- I can see forward. Please, please ask for help. There will (whether you believe it or not right now) be people who will be deeply affected by not having you in their lives. PM me if you feel you can. I’ve been where you are and I’m not there now. Lots of love to you.

MistletoeandGin · 12/12/2020 10:41

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

But the virus isn't going to think "Oh, look, the clock has struck 12 on New Years Day. I'm gone now...BYE EVERYONE forget I ever existed

Exactly. Just like it didn’t stay out of schools or isn’t going to stop infecting people for five days over Christmas.

The vaccine being rolled out though is a slither of light and hope but after all the mixing and then everyone going back into school and work i can’t see anything for a third peak to start 2021.

Again, no one thinks it’s going to disappear at midnight on the 31st December.

User158340 · 12/12/2020 10:53

@Pukkatea
I think a lot of the mental health issues I've seen emerge in my own friendship group are as a result of their optimism that covid would be over in a few months.

I do think there is something in this.

The first lockdown was tough for many but people got on with it. Once things opened up over the summer I think a lot of people had the sense of well the worst is over and it'll be back to normal soon. When the second wave hit hard and fast in the Autumn it was tough to deal with when the restrictions came back in fast and combined with the weather turning and dark nights etc.

Fishfingersandwichplease · 12/12/2020 10:55

I honestly don't think next year could be any worse, so from that point of view, yes it well def be better!! Small steps back to normality.

User158340 · 12/12/2020 10:59

@Eckhart

I think there's a bit of a danger that people have forgotten that they weren't that happy before COVID.

The truth is, humans naturally err towards thinking things would be better if they were different from how they are right now. It's why we keep progressing technologically: We're never bloody satisfied with what we've got.

Once things get back to normal, people will start saying they miss lockdown, resent having to go to the office again, can't understand why 'work' means 'not seeing your kids' etc.

Not everybody, but a lot, I imagine.

Yes, there will be a lot of this. Was reading a book on East Berlin/East Germany before the wall fell. They waited decades and decades for freedom and in many cases when they got it, struggled to adapt or missed a lot of what they had before.

Life wasn't great before March 2020 for a lot of people, even there's things we've all missed doing this year. Drudgery open plan offices, packed out trains and standing at a platform in the freezing cold at 6.30am every morning are not one of them.

Bollss · 12/12/2020 11:02

My life wasn't perfect, however I could legally see my family, my parents my friends. I could invite people to my house. I could reasonably believe that ds would go to nursery each day and see his friends without worrying about imminent closure of isolation. I wasn't worried about my job (although I did end up getting another). I could go on holiday when I wanted to. I could make plans. We had a wedding planned that again we could reasonable believe could go ahead.

Even if I was unhappy, generally, with my job, or my relationship or whatever - it is in no way comparable to normal life being essentially, illegal.

User158340 · 12/12/2020 11:07

@TrustTheGeneGenie

My life wasn't perfect, however I could legally see my family, my parents my friends. I could invite people to my house. I could reasonably believe that ds would go to nursery each day and see his friends without worrying about imminent closure of isolation. I wasn't worried about my job (although I did end up getting another). I could go on holiday when I wanted to. I could make plans. We had a wedding planned that again we could reasonable believe could go ahead.

Even if I was unhappy, generally, with my job, or my relationship or whatever - it is in no way comparable to normal life being essentially, illegal.

I agree, but it's important people temper their expectations about what normal actually is. Life is hard, unless you're rich and powerful.

Normal for many is living for the weekend so they go out and get wasted to forget about everything and enjoy themselves for a few hours on a Saturday night.

Bollss · 12/12/2020 11:10

Absolutely, but I think a lot of people would be happier with their old, mundane, sometimes hard, lives. I certainly would. We aren't well off let alone rich but it costs me nothing to see my parents and friends but it improves my life so much.

And what's wrong with that? If that is their normal and that's what they want who are you to judge?

I want my own normal back. I'm not assuming next year will be the best year of my life, I just want normal back. No masks. No distancing. No restrictions. No fucking radio adverts every 10 minutes telling me not to go near people. No worrying that school will close. No more fucking queueing.

Crunchymum · 12/12/2020 11:12

I'm hoping for some normality come spring / summer. God knows if I'll be (mentally) in a position to enjoy it by that point

HesterShaw1 · 12/12/2020 11:15

Literally no one I know thinks that. They are simply hoping next year will be less shit than this year, and that more normal human interaction that we have taken for granted since the dawn of humanity will be "allowed".

MushMonster · 12/12/2020 11:18

You may be right, but I really really do not want to hear about it anymore.... I think I am reaching the end of my tether by now. Just need some carefree time to get energy enough to face next months.
There are lights shinning at the end of the tunnel, so I do want to focus on the lights to keep going.

AliceMadHatter · 12/12/2020 11:24

I've just looked at my garden and I feel happy that after this cold dark winter I can back in there. That is my bit of optimism.

There will be further restrictions but I do feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Smallsteps88 · 12/12/2020 11:26

Everyone is going on about next year, saying it will be amazing and that we can all travel again, see family and be as normal.

I have heard No-one, not a single person online or IRL day this. They’re all saying the opposite- that things will get worse.

RMRM · 12/12/2020 11:28

It's important to be realistic. No Deal or thin deal Brexit is not going to help matters at all. We will potentially be facing another Covid surge after people go mad in Christmas and New Year and schools return in January. Things will improve, but not at the rate some are hoping for. We have many reasons to believe things will change for the better with Covid, but we need to understand the rate of change may not be fast.

Kittensarecute, you really need to speak to your GP.

Original poster

Skyshale · 12/12/2020 11:28

@kittensarecute

If it's not getting better by April, I may as well not be here. I've already started self harming and come very close to suicide on more than one occasion. I can't live like this much longer.

Oh I'm so sorry to hear this - as others have said, please please get help. I have struggled with suicidal tendencies in the past - please know you're not alone. You'll get through this!

OP posts:

User158340 · 12/12/2020 11:29

And what's wrong with that? If that is their normal and that's what they want who are you to judge?

It's pretty much my normal.