Dear Lauren,
I'm sorry you had to suffer
I'm sorry you felt alone
I'm sorry you were so frightened
In the place that you should have called home.
I'm sorry you blamed yourself
And I'm sorry you believed the lies
I'm sorry the letters you wrote to your mum
Just couldn't open her eyes.
To the pain of her words that she beat you with
To the anguish you felt inside
To the love that you wanted to smoother her with
And the affection you needed to thrive.
It's not your fault that you weren't able to
Protect yourself from the pain
To stop yourself from feeling
As she tore you to pieces yet again.
You deserved her love and attention
Her support and her guidance too
She couldn't be the parent that you deserved
But that's no reflection on you.
You may not love yourself just yet
You may feel lost and afraid
You may make mistakes as you desperately try
To numb the unbearable pain.
But life will take you on a journey
Where you'll find your purpose and meaning
Where you'll feel the love you should have felt
Right back in the beginning.
You'll love others more than words can express
And they'll love you just the same
Your heart will be full of joyfulness
And no longer filled with pain.
So don't ever forget your worth
Your strength and your courage too
Just know that the love you've needed all along
Is right there within you.