DH spends no time with kid

[gg12346]

my hubby loves his kid but spends no quality time with him .He would work hard on weekdays and on weekends he would just go with us for eating out ,which is occasionally but would rather spend time watching movies .I am teaching Ds chess and other scrabble things but DH has no interest .He would rather pay money for ds to join clubs rather spend time with him .
I feel so awful !
I Have asked him so many times to which he says he needs space for himself .
wtf
I have always felt as a single parent and I really feel for DS .
AIBU if I am asking himto spend sometime with DS

That's really sad. How old is your child? Can you encourage them to go on bike rides or walks, just the two of them so that they can bond properly?

@Alexandernevermind there is bonding but there is ofcourse this favour for me .I felt so bad today when DS says he cant share any secrets with Daddy because he is always busy .He is single child and is 7 .

He's obviously a 'provider'.

My dad was one of these.

I am one of 5 siblings and our mum was everything and still is.

I respect my dad who died when the youngest sibling, my brother, was 11, oldest sister was 28.

None of us had an emotional connection to him, but we all appreciated what he did for the family.

Only now I'm older, I can see what a sexist knob he was.

Please respect yourself. Make a life for yourself. Have your friends. Have a life. Get a job. Meet new people.

My own father was like this when I grew up which was such a shame as I have no memories of doing anything nice with dad. My mum was my world. I used to envy friends who had a dad that spent time with them and did things with them I always remember thinking why can't my dad be like that. I'm mid 40s now and see dad regularly but he still has no interest in my life or has no interest at all in his grandchildren He's always been a very selfish man. Luckily I chose to have my own children with a man who is a wonderful father to our children it is lovely to see him with them but it does make me realise even more how much I missed out on not having that attention from my own father.

You love and cherish this ejaculator? You’re happy with the life lessons he’s choosing to inflict on his offspring? I wonder why he chose to impregnate you in the first place. If you freed yourself of him, he would have to parent his kid 50% of the time. Might focus his little brain.

Its so tragic I feel really upset that your lovely little boy is just ignored by his "father". A little boy really needs a father and its just so sad he doesn't take him to play sports, read him a story or take him on funfair rides. All the things you would expect a dad to do.
Does he even love his son? Sorry but I couldn't live with a horrible man like this.

My former husband was very like this. it was all about him and his work. yet we made plans to involve him and made leeway for his behaviour. He is much better as a Dad who no longer lives with us as he has to make the time for childrens activities even just watching their favourite movie. He was a provider too and wanted the children to respect him. It did not work that way. He was a parent but not "parenting".

Do you think your son feels like his dad loves him?

Your poor boy.

OP all these comments are basically saying the same thing. Emotional disassociation.

Its formed all our relationships as adults and fucked us up.

My eldest sister is divorced. Married way too young looking for a father figure

Sister 2 -divorced, married a prick who had nothing to do with his kid for years

Sister 3 -me -done a 180 and am too harsh on my husband regarding equality

Sister 4 - daddy issues, but is with a wonderful older man

Brother 5 - never got his shit together til mid 30's

Mum -fucking amazing. Remarried in her late 60s. Husband adores the ground she walks on.

You deserve better. Don't let your kid grow up with a 'cordial' relationship with their dad. Despite what people think, it is not natural.

Its mad.my hisband and daughter are so close, it makes me uncomfortable sometimes cos I never acted like that with my dad.

If he'd rather watch movies, couldn't he do that? DH loves movies and computer games so he plays Mario Kart with DD. And watches movies I wouldn't let her watch. They've made their own niche that I'm not in.

Difference is though that it sounds as if your H doesn't want to.

My father was always working, weekends too. I’m sure he did it to get away from my mother. They split when I was 14 and I went to live with my grandparents on their Dorset farm. Farming is a 24/7 way of life but my grandad involved me in everything. We would sit in his Land Rover and eat our sandwiches that my gran made. I miss them both terribly. My father moved to New York and remarried. We see each other as often as we can. My mother moved back to Provence and I haven’t spoken to her in years. Some people just don’t get much out of being a parent. It’s just the way they are.

My ex has like that. Now wonders why 2 out of the 3 refuse to have anything to do with him.

That’s so sad OP

Me and my husband have a 6 year old and a three year old and we offer our children very different things in terms of interacting with them.

I tend to do the indoor things like play board games, painting, play-doh, playing with their cars and dinosaurs with them, playing card games with them, I do the homework, the bedtime stories and tuck them into bed etc - all the interactive stuff.

My husband does all the outdoorsy stuff with them...he takes them to sports lessons, he takes them to watch football/rugby games, takes them to Theme Parks, he takes them to park, walks through the forest etc - he even takes them abroad three times a year on his own - something I would NEVER do, the thought fills me with complete dread

Despite my husband having a very active role on their life, they still have an obvious preference for me - I generally just think young children do feel a different kind of closeness to their mums.

However - your poor boy, the fact he said that about his dad is truly heartbreaking. Does his dad know how his son feels?

We all need time for ourselves but when you have children we have to accept that their needs come first and children so much need to feel they are important to their parents and feel like they are loved.

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this OP, it must be quite upsetting to deal with