Safeguarding my arse

[OppsUpsSide]

Name changed for this.
I have worked for years in ‘protecting’ vulnerable people from harm, in different professions, and had the experience of me and my DC being those vulnerable people.
So, AIBU to acknowledge;
Safe guarding is shit, except in extreme cases, you/your child’s suffering is a learning experience and therefore allowable;
If your ex has years of recorded abusive behaviour but feels sad it turns out it probably was you;
Your DC shouldn’t be protected from this, they should ‘manage’ it because parents have a right to their DC;
Training sessions are bullshit because everything is a level 4 where as in reality, unless someone’s dead, it’s a level 1 and everyone fights to take no responsibility apart from the lowest paid individual who actually engages with that person/child.
Protective services my arse.

I don't have anything to do with safeguarding in my job, so I don't understand some of the references in your post but it sounds shit and I hope you are ok

I agree.

The threshold....it's never met any more.

I think this is too niche to be a general open discussion unless you're going to talk us through whats happening

Thanks @Xiaoxiong just kind words mean a lot right now.
@XherdanShaqiri no exactly! Yet the vitriol suggests so much more.
I would love to say to people seek help, but I can’t, because I know the reality doesn’t match the aspiration

I can’t @CutToChase some of it is my own experience which I have posted about in a different username and some of it is professional experience

I wish it was niche

I think issues are. Not enough support, not enough time. So unfortunately the help isn,t their at the lower levels, which mean it is more likely to escalate which puts people at risk and tears families apart.

(I thought for a minute that 'Safeguarding my arse' meant protecting my backside, although maybe that's also correct, as in covering their arses).

You sound very disillusioned. Is your experience of being on the 'client' side quite recent?

Can I tell you my failing safeguarding story. Highly abusive ex.. Violent. Physically attacked me many times. Abused his daughter. SS intervened and removed us from his house and we relocated. Get to the new house we live in.. SS immediately drop us... Now we're going through the Courts and I've been ordered to make DD available for contact with her violent father every week for an hour supervised by these stupid and irresponsible independent social workers whom he's paying for may I add. Every week I tell them I don't feel safe and I'm going to be followed home.. They don't care about me. They do absolutely nothing to safeguard me at all. The Courts are forcing both of us to see this violent man because he's goading me and making himself visible during handovers and when I voice my concerns the independent social workers say that they see nothing. Cafcass on the other hand are trying desperately to keep us safe but the Courts aren't listening to them.
I'm hugely disgusted by the injustice that any vulnerable person experiencing at the hands of safeguarding professionals.

I work with vulnerable young people. safeguarding IS shit.
I've spent many an hour arguing with SS with the key question always being is the child in immediate danger. Nope, not usually but the damage being done is horrendous.
Its exhausting, fighting for these kids with little help from anyone anywhere!!

From a few bits I can work out at least part of what is going on. Its shit, its really shit. We got a no contact order after 46 serious allegations were admitted but not before he was given umpteen chances to correct his mistakes

I'm the lowest paid person in that chain.

That's really disheartening to think that all those times I do my job and all those times I fill in the reports, there's potentially somebody on the other end who thinks I've wasted my time and not inconsiderable mental labour on those children as nobody else cares.

@XherdanShaqiri

I agree.

The threshold....it's never met any more.

This, sadly.

I hear you, OP.

I did a course that required some work experience in a school. The behind the scenes was awful, no safeguarding happened unless parents kicked up a fuss and even then it wasn't dealt with formally. Lies told to parents to get them to stay quiet, 'dealing' with bullying by saying the bully would be spoken to but would be left to continue and the bullied child taught to put up with it. Then moved to train in social work where I realised how many children were turned away from SS, left homeless or in abusive households. I felt there was nothing i could do and left both courses early. Even reporting to police, governors, Safeguarding lead etc did nothing. Absolutely horrifying. My children are homeschooled as a result.

Just want to make it clear, I'm not bashing any care professionals who actually try their best, just saying what I experienced was horrific and I know it happens for many reasons including funding cuts and resource limitations. I have the upmost respect for those who could stay in the care and education sectors and who do their best to protect young and vulnerable people.

I think there are a lot of people in powerful positions all the way to the top who are succeeding in dismantling safeguarding. This is discussed at great length on MN.

I agree, OP. It's truly depressing and utterly shit.

@endofthelinefinally

I think there are a lot of people in powerful positions all the way to the top who are succeeding in dismantling safeguarding. This is discussed at great length on MN.

Absolutely this.

@MitziK I am absolutely not talking about the people in your role, it’s the system. Initial support is often good but as Pebbledashery and Redredwine2020 describes, once you get past that or if you need more protection, it isn’t there.

They make a song and dance about all getting together and talking about scenarios, congratulating themselves on their latest document, the new buzz words etc, but when someone actually needs the help it’s radio silence.

Training sessions are bullshit because everything is a level 4 where as in reality, unless someone’s dead, it’s a level 1 and everyone fights to take no responsibility apart from the lowest paid individual who actually engages with that person/child

I concur. Trying to get Child Services involved these days is like trying to find the needle in a stack of needles.

So disillusioned

I work in this area and over the last few years with the cuts I’ve watched it crumble even further and a court system develop where the adults needs and rights are put before the children. It’s awful at times.

It's like everything, lack of resources. .
How long til there's another child, another enquiry and hand wringing promises of change and root and branch reform

YANBU.
Also nobody gives a fuck once your child turns 18, even if they have been abused and brainwashed for years and are now being taken advantage of as adults.

I work with children and sometimes find myself in situations where I have to refer to SS due to safeguarding concerns. The whole system appears to be broken, the threshold for referrals is so high now. It's frustrating and very worrying.