To ask how you would deal with this

[Allthestarsarecloser]

My 8 year old DD is tired at the moment but today at the end of school she got really cross that I hadn’t planned anything for after school (not sure what she was expecting) and she said to me ‘And theres nothing special about you anyway’ and I burst into tears. I think because it’s been a tough year and because it came out of her - it really upset me and then she got really upset - I know she didn’t mean it but it still hurt.

I just wish I hadn’t burst into tears as I think it shocked her and I don’t want her feeling bad either as that’s what my narcissistic mother used to do to me.

Aibu to ask how you would handle this? She’s now saying that she meant that she wasn’t special and I keep saying I never want her to feel like that as she’s the most special person to me.

Aarrggh- it’s just escalated into something from nothing if you get what I mean- partly because I am exhausted after 2020 🤪

Probably leave it to be honest. Don't blow it up into a big deal. She said something hurtful, you reacted to it, she at least had the sense to back peddle a bit and probably learnt a lesson.

In honesty, I wouldnt make a huge deal. She was tired and cross and said something mean. It hurt your feelings, which gave her the incentive to restrain her impulse to use words to hurt in the future.

Totally normal 8yo stuff.

I think you need to unpack your feelings around your mother - it’s not narcissistic to cry because someone has genuinely upset you! It’s also good for children to see when they have overstepped a line.

If you have already kissed and made up I would do nothing further.

She said something unkind, you reacted, you've talked about it and resolved it.

Sounds pretty normal and OK to me.

She has learned something today, and that's no bad thing.

Tomorrow is a new day

She said something mean your cried
You discussed at the time and presumably hugged and made up so I'd leave it at that
She was probably repeating something from tv or school

Was she hungry, op? My dc used to come out with some awful things right after school, it usually meant they needed something to eat.

It really hurts when they say things like this but you will learn to brush it off and not take it personally. Be breezy and say 'Well I love YOU very much!'

Think of it as a little practice for the teenage years

It sounds like you dealt with it well tbh. She said something that was genuinely hurtful, you reacted in a normal healthy way, she has apologised and you’ve talked about it. Maybe reiterate that we can all “lash out” and say mean things sometimes, but it’s important to remember that words can be hurtful. Talk about how we’re all tired and grumpy as it’s been a really hard year, remind her how much you love and like her, have a cuddle, move on.

Cuddle on the sofa with Disney and cake... it'll blow over... 💐

Now she knows you are a real human being!. Life lesson imo.